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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 409233" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>4timmy, </p><p> </p><p>I think sometimes when we go through the weirdest times in our lives, the hardest times in our lives - the most hurtful times in our lives? There is most definitely a phase where we are to sit for whatever time we need and have 'a moment' for ourselves, or as others would call it a pity party. Recently I had the most delightful exchange on a PM with another member who had gone through a horrific tragedy - yet never explained the end result; only sent a beautiful card, with a stunning picture and verse. I loved it so much that I decided to frame it and hang it on my wall before I ever told her. Later? I would find out that the picture was of her house - after it burned. I just sat there after reading that and thought - INCREDIBLE - just incredible. Here was a person who had taken a tragic incident, and saw something different, something beautiful through charred remains - and not only kept a picture, but added a beautiful sentiment to it. I think it hit me really hard and special because you see - while I've been given the opportunity to have a great many adversities in my own life - I lost my house to fire twice, yet NEVER thought to see the beauty in it the way she did. That taught me an extra lesson that day - not only are our adversities constantly shaping our lives to help ourselves and others, but there can be smaller things inside those adversities we should keep our eyes open to - not just the big picture. </p><p> </p><p>When I saw your post? Ahhh, (exhale) I am kind of one of those people that believes you meet people and people meet you for a reason. I'm not much on chance. So this one morning I'm flipping through channels and I have a lot of skeletons in the brain still rolling around, and I've been through therapy, and I've dealt with a lot of stuff, and I've done the overcome your fears as much as I can - because a lot of what I went through with my ex was so horrible I still can't bring it to the surface. So there I am and for sake of the board and not to get into a religious topic I'll just say I am a believer, but I'm not a roller. Then this lady was walking back and forth on the stage right? Talking about forgiveness. So of course I stop, I mean who doesn't want to know about being forgiven? Then she said something I had never heard in all the years we went Sunday AM, Sunday night, Wednesday and every other day Mom wanted to. She said "Lots of people have the wrong idea about being forgiven. They seem to think that if they constantly for the rest of their lives ask to be forgiven or nearly martyr themselves out over and over and over for the same thing? This makes their wrong doing better, or more forgiven or seem like they are really really sorry. Then she went on to say that what it does? Is waste your life, and it's not necessary. You ask once - and you are forgiven, and then go on with your life. That's it. (pointing up) Does NOT want you to remain miserable and go over whatever you did constantly - ask, be forgiven - go on. So there I sat thinking - WOW - how many things did I do as a teenager that I'm still brining up in my life NOW that I'm sorry for STILL? That are wreaking havoc in my day to day now? LOTS. </p><p></p><p>Anyway when I read your post? I saw all the past things that you seems so sorry for STILL. It just seemed like you are still punishing yourself for all that stuff. Don't have to go into detail, you said it, lived it, posted it. I read it, and just felt so sad for you. Matter of fact if I was there - and I do have relatives in Ohio and am trying to MOVE back - so be warned.....I would have met you somewhere and said OKAY kid - lookey here.....past is exactly that - past. GONE, done. AND like you ---I too made some whoppers..Oh my goodness - At least you married a man that was married...(insert sheesh sound) IIIIIIIII married Satan. No joke the man I am sure had the horns and tail removed just before the nuptials. HOWEVER.....in therapy you learn to find the silver lining - which is....(and don't laugh too loud because you got a difficult child) your son. (okay I heard that snort) - Maybe it was mine. Point is - despite the behaviors which - you probably think are a punishment from (points up) they aren't. And I could tell you things that would make you literally fall on the floor laughing - no seriously - that I was SURE was a punishment from(points up) for whatever I did this life, last life (I mean had to be I wasn't such a bad person in this one) even throwing holy water on my kid and I'm not Catholic! --- Yeah that was a stunner - he actually shut up for 5 minutes. (told you he was really really misbehaved) oy. </p><p> </p><p>But NOW? I don't look at any of it as a punishment or a curse, or anything like that - even the fires. (not from hell silly - the house fires) lol. Since my house has burned? I've been able to KNOW exactly what to help someone with when their house burns. How to help them get organized, where to go for help, what to ask for. HOW long to expect things to take. It's been invaluable to those burnt out. Since having a kid like ours? I've been able to help others by guiding them to services and therapy, and books - and you know if they take the help? Fine. As far as battery and domestic violence? Yeah well - I'm right between someone if they even think about raising a hand to anyone - man, woman or child - even pet. I've talked to lots of people and helped in those situations and rescued hundreds of pets. And as far as being fat? Well - that one took a long time too, but after being nearly 300 lbs? WOW - Gave me a whole new perspective on health and issues with clothing (do you know I now can't wear ANYTHING that has flowers or sailor motif? I mean seriously - you're that big - you really want to look cruise shippy?) GAW! At size 22 going to 24 - it's awful and it gave me a complete new respect for heavy people - I see lots and lots of things differently. I'm not angry anymore either - I DID something about it. </p><p> </p><p>So that's what I saw between the lines in YOU.....how? been there done that ........and the hurt is overwhelming. I bet.....you are a stunner. I bet.....you are overworked, tired, at your wits end with your kid. I BET.......you love your husband but haven't had time alone with him in years. I bet you feel like no one understands your problems and you are so tired of complaining about it all you don't even talk about it much because your'e so tired of hearing your own voice - you've just gotten nearly quiet about everything, and that's why your kid is running all over you. </p><p> </p><p>Time to take back your life - take back your self respect, self -esteem - SELF CONTROL - </p><p> </p><p>Set a goal - and not a month, or three or six - Try a year from VALENTINES DAY --------the love day. FEB 14, 2012......IS 4timmy's DAY!!!!!! </p><p> </p><p>The new way of eating is simple too - and belive me - I am so lazy - I hate to exercise - so I didn't. This way of eating helps you just drop pounds - and you feel better - and when you feel better? You just move more.....How's 2lbs a week sound to ya? It's about (roughly) a pant size a month. After about 100 lbs - it slows down UNLESS you exercise - (which I have not) but you will still loose you just have to change how you eat - which (okay get this) IS MORE - and you HAVE to stick to it - or it won't work. There are definite RULES - </p><p> </p><p>Eat breakfast religiously - </p><p>Eat lunch religously</p><p>Eat dinner religously</p><p>Have a snack (100 calories at 10: am) </p><p>Have a snack (100 calories at 3: pm) </p><p> </p><p>NOTHING AT ANYTIME more than 10 grams of sugar EVER! NEVER! </p><p> </p><p>NOTHING TO EAT AFTER 7 PM. </p><p> </p><p>PORTIONS THE SIZE of the PALM OF YOUR HAND (I threw in my thumb because - snort - it's part of my palm right) </p><p> </p><p>USE A SMALLER DINNER PLATE THAN EVERY ONE ELSE </p><p> </p><p>STICK TO THE OUTSIDE WALLS OF THE GROCERY STORE when shopping - DAIRY, MEAT, VEGETABLES (more of those) </p><p> </p><p>You can HAVE anything you want - but watch your portions - yes fried foods too - but watch your portions. </p><p> </p><p>TRY SWITCHING TO SUGAR FREE desserts - candy, pudding, jello it's 10 calories, 100 calorie cookies, baked chips, 100 calorie snacks. </p><p>SPLENDA BLEND. </p><p> </p><p>TRY FISH ONCE A WEEK </p><p> </p><p>PEANUT BUTTER </p><p> </p><p>45 calorie a slice bread - low cal wheat </p><p> </p><p>DIET SODAS OR CRYSTAL LITE, and at least 6 bottles of water a day! Lipton diet green tea is yummy too - but you HAVE to have water to flush out the fat that you are loosing! other wise it stays...so flush it out, by the way ----you will tinkle a lot. GOOD - </p><p> </p><p>WEIGHTWATCHERS AND LEAN CUISINE frozen dinners for lunch are awesome - can have for dinner too - </p><p> </p><p>Lots of fruit for snack is wonderful! Veggies and Dips are great too - watch your portion size</p><p> </p><p>On this eating regime - DO NOT WORRY ABOUT LOW FAT, LOW CARB - most low fat lifestyles replace with sugar. (nice huh?) </p><p> </p><p>Most WEIGHT WATCHERS desserts? LOTS OF SUGAR - like 22 grams per serving. NICE - no wonder people gain it back. </p><p> </p><p>SLIM FAST? ........ever check to see how much sugar is in 1 can of slim fast? NICE -----SLIM TO NO chance you'll loose weight unless you exercise until you drop. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As far as exercise? Well - You do have a kid that needs exercise - Make it a rule to take him to a park one day, then 2 days and then 3 days as this progresses - try to play tennis even if it's for 10 minutes - try. Goodwills sell tennis raquets - or just walk around the park while he does the jungle gym. Find a hiking trail and just walk with him - ask him how his day was. Let him run and burn off energy - see how many times he can run ahead and run back to you and you TIME him - ADHDers LOVE this. (get it -?) </p><p> </p><p>Also - if you go to the grocery store or stores? PARK AS FAR AWAY as you can! Not as close as you can. As you do this - Thank God you have legs, and can walk. Tell yourself as you walk in that you are SO thankful you don't have to park in a blue spot. Yup - you'll be winded, yup your cheeks will be rosy - and YUP - you will be tired...(have you gone to the doctor yet and had that Glucose tolerance test I told you to get?) You need it....because if you are borderline diabetic - they may give you something like Metformin - for sugar regulation and THAT is an appetite supressant and it WILL help ----</p><p> </p><p>BUT most of all - DO NOT CHEAT.....don't tell yourself....It's 7:10 - It's 7:30 - I mean if you need to adjust ? Adjust - but girl - who are you cheating if you cheat? Uh huh. </p><p> </p><p>Trust me - You want proof? I got proof......somewhere - I got a picture of my fat girl pants - and they are huge. YOU CAN DO THIS. </p><p> </p><p>And once you start on the head - the body will WANT to get in shape.......</p><p> </p><p>YOU DESERVE THIS - YOU ARE WONDERFUL and BRILLIANT - AND A FANTASTIC MOM --------and this is all GOING to come together for you ! </p><p> </p><p>AND ------above all else - </p><p> </p><p>YOU ARE LOVED - </p><p>SO</p><p>THROW OUT THE SUGAR JUNK - </p><p>(the kid can have it - YOU DO NOT NEED IT) </p><p>And yes sugar free stuff is a little more expensive - but once you get the whole thing switched over? NOT REALLY just seems like it to begin with) </p><p> </p><p>And I have a whole lot of things that we do just as cheaply now at Walmart - </p><p> </p><p>Did you know butter has ??? many calories per tsp? Go look it will FLOOR you - margarine too....like 70...makes you stop lobbing it on in a hurry. </p><p> </p><p>OH and the first time you come out in a pair of jeans and get a wolf whistle from your hubby? </p><p>ALL WORTH IT.......you can't bottle that feeling and buy it anywhere. </p><p> </p><p>SO OFF WITH YOU - YOU GO GIRL! YOU CAN DO EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIITTTTTTT </p><p>and you have a ton of support here. </p><p> </p><p>I am proud of you! </p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 409233, member: 4964"] 4timmy, I think sometimes when we go through the weirdest times in our lives, the hardest times in our lives - the most hurtful times in our lives? There is most definitely a phase where we are to sit for whatever time we need and have 'a moment' for ourselves, or as others would call it a pity party. Recently I had the most delightful exchange on a PM with another member who had gone through a horrific tragedy - yet never explained the end result; only sent a beautiful card, with a stunning picture and verse. I loved it so much that I decided to frame it and hang it on my wall before I ever told her. Later? I would find out that the picture was of her house - after it burned. I just sat there after reading that and thought - INCREDIBLE - just incredible. Here was a person who had taken a tragic incident, and saw something different, something beautiful through charred remains - and not only kept a picture, but added a beautiful sentiment to it. I think it hit me really hard and special because you see - while I've been given the opportunity to have a great many adversities in my own life - I lost my house to fire twice, yet NEVER thought to see the beauty in it the way she did. That taught me an extra lesson that day - not only are our adversities constantly shaping our lives to help ourselves and others, but there can be smaller things inside those adversities we should keep our eyes open to - not just the big picture. When I saw your post? Ahhh, (exhale) I am kind of one of those people that believes you meet people and people meet you for a reason. I'm not much on chance. So this one morning I'm flipping through channels and I have a lot of skeletons in the brain still rolling around, and I've been through therapy, and I've dealt with a lot of stuff, and I've done the overcome your fears as much as I can - because a lot of what I went through with my ex was so horrible I still can't bring it to the surface. So there I am and for sake of the board and not to get into a religious topic I'll just say I am a believer, but I'm not a roller. Then this lady was walking back and forth on the stage right? Talking about forgiveness. So of course I stop, I mean who doesn't want to know about being forgiven? Then she said something I had never heard in all the years we went Sunday AM, Sunday night, Wednesday and every other day Mom wanted to. She said "Lots of people have the wrong idea about being forgiven. They seem to think that if they constantly for the rest of their lives ask to be forgiven or nearly martyr themselves out over and over and over for the same thing? This makes their wrong doing better, or more forgiven or seem like they are really really sorry. Then she went on to say that what it does? Is waste your life, and it's not necessary. You ask once - and you are forgiven, and then go on with your life. That's it. (pointing up) Does NOT want you to remain miserable and go over whatever you did constantly - ask, be forgiven - go on. So there I sat thinking - WOW - how many things did I do as a teenager that I'm still brining up in my life NOW that I'm sorry for STILL? That are wreaking havoc in my day to day now? LOTS. Anyway when I read your post? I saw all the past things that you seems so sorry for STILL. It just seemed like you are still punishing yourself for all that stuff. Don't have to go into detail, you said it, lived it, posted it. I read it, and just felt so sad for you. Matter of fact if I was there - and I do have relatives in Ohio and am trying to MOVE back - so be warned.....I would have met you somewhere and said OKAY kid - lookey here.....past is exactly that - past. GONE, done. AND like you ---I too made some whoppers..Oh my goodness - At least you married a man that was married...(insert sheesh sound) IIIIIIIII married Satan. No joke the man I am sure had the horns and tail removed just before the nuptials. HOWEVER.....in therapy you learn to find the silver lining - which is....(and don't laugh too loud because you got a difficult child) your son. (okay I heard that snort) - Maybe it was mine. Point is - despite the behaviors which - you probably think are a punishment from (points up) they aren't. And I could tell you things that would make you literally fall on the floor laughing - no seriously - that I was SURE was a punishment from(points up) for whatever I did this life, last life (I mean had to be I wasn't such a bad person in this one) even throwing holy water on my kid and I'm not Catholic! --- Yeah that was a stunner - he actually shut up for 5 minutes. (told you he was really really misbehaved) oy. But NOW? I don't look at any of it as a punishment or a curse, or anything like that - even the fires. (not from hell silly - the house fires) lol. Since my house has burned? I've been able to KNOW exactly what to help someone with when their house burns. How to help them get organized, where to go for help, what to ask for. HOW long to expect things to take. It's been invaluable to those burnt out. Since having a kid like ours? I've been able to help others by guiding them to services and therapy, and books - and you know if they take the help? Fine. As far as battery and domestic violence? Yeah well - I'm right between someone if they even think about raising a hand to anyone - man, woman or child - even pet. I've talked to lots of people and helped in those situations and rescued hundreds of pets. And as far as being fat? Well - that one took a long time too, but after being nearly 300 lbs? WOW - Gave me a whole new perspective on health and issues with clothing (do you know I now can't wear ANYTHING that has flowers or sailor motif? I mean seriously - you're that big - you really want to look cruise shippy?) GAW! At size 22 going to 24 - it's awful and it gave me a complete new respect for heavy people - I see lots and lots of things differently. I'm not angry anymore either - I DID something about it. So that's what I saw between the lines in YOU.....how? been there done that ........and the hurt is overwhelming. I bet.....you are a stunner. I bet.....you are overworked, tired, at your wits end with your kid. I BET.......you love your husband but haven't had time alone with him in years. I bet you feel like no one understands your problems and you are so tired of complaining about it all you don't even talk about it much because your'e so tired of hearing your own voice - you've just gotten nearly quiet about everything, and that's why your kid is running all over you. Time to take back your life - take back your self respect, self -esteem - SELF CONTROL - Set a goal - and not a month, or three or six - Try a year from VALENTINES DAY --------the love day. FEB 14, 2012......IS 4timmy's DAY!!!!!! The new way of eating is simple too - and belive me - I am so lazy - I hate to exercise - so I didn't. This way of eating helps you just drop pounds - and you feel better - and when you feel better? You just move more.....How's 2lbs a week sound to ya? It's about (roughly) a pant size a month. After about 100 lbs - it slows down UNLESS you exercise - (which I have not) but you will still loose you just have to change how you eat - which (okay get this) IS MORE - and you HAVE to stick to it - or it won't work. There are definite RULES - Eat breakfast religiously - Eat lunch religously Eat dinner religously Have a snack (100 calories at 10: am) Have a snack (100 calories at 3: pm) NOTHING AT ANYTIME more than 10 grams of sugar EVER! NEVER! NOTHING TO EAT AFTER 7 PM. PORTIONS THE SIZE of the PALM OF YOUR HAND (I threw in my thumb because - snort - it's part of my palm right) USE A SMALLER DINNER PLATE THAN EVERY ONE ELSE STICK TO THE OUTSIDE WALLS OF THE GROCERY STORE when shopping - DAIRY, MEAT, VEGETABLES (more of those) You can HAVE anything you want - but watch your portions - yes fried foods too - but watch your portions. TRY SWITCHING TO SUGAR FREE desserts - candy, pudding, jello it's 10 calories, 100 calorie cookies, baked chips, 100 calorie snacks. SPLENDA BLEND. TRY FISH ONCE A WEEK PEANUT BUTTER 45 calorie a slice bread - low cal wheat DIET SODAS OR CRYSTAL LITE, and at least 6 bottles of water a day! Lipton diet green tea is yummy too - but you HAVE to have water to flush out the fat that you are loosing! other wise it stays...so flush it out, by the way ----you will tinkle a lot. GOOD - WEIGHTWATCHERS AND LEAN CUISINE frozen dinners for lunch are awesome - can have for dinner too - Lots of fruit for snack is wonderful! Veggies and Dips are great too - watch your portion size On this eating regime - DO NOT WORRY ABOUT LOW FAT, LOW CARB - most low fat lifestyles replace with sugar. (nice huh?) Most WEIGHT WATCHERS desserts? LOTS OF SUGAR - like 22 grams per serving. NICE - no wonder people gain it back. SLIM FAST? ........ever check to see how much sugar is in 1 can of slim fast? NICE -----SLIM TO NO chance you'll loose weight unless you exercise until you drop. As far as exercise? Well - You do have a kid that needs exercise - Make it a rule to take him to a park one day, then 2 days and then 3 days as this progresses - try to play tennis even if it's for 10 minutes - try. Goodwills sell tennis raquets - or just walk around the park while he does the jungle gym. Find a hiking trail and just walk with him - ask him how his day was. Let him run and burn off energy - see how many times he can run ahead and run back to you and you TIME him - ADHDers LOVE this. (get it -?) Also - if you go to the grocery store or stores? PARK AS FAR AWAY as you can! Not as close as you can. As you do this - Thank God you have legs, and can walk. Tell yourself as you walk in that you are SO thankful you don't have to park in a blue spot. Yup - you'll be winded, yup your cheeks will be rosy - and YUP - you will be tired...(have you gone to the doctor yet and had that Glucose tolerance test I told you to get?) You need it....because if you are borderline diabetic - they may give you something like Metformin - for sugar regulation and THAT is an appetite supressant and it WILL help ---- BUT most of all - DO NOT CHEAT.....don't tell yourself....It's 7:10 - It's 7:30 - I mean if you need to adjust ? Adjust - but girl - who are you cheating if you cheat? Uh huh. Trust me - You want proof? I got proof......somewhere - I got a picture of my fat girl pants - and they are huge. YOU CAN DO THIS. And once you start on the head - the body will WANT to get in shape....... YOU DESERVE THIS - YOU ARE WONDERFUL and BRILLIANT - AND A FANTASTIC MOM --------and this is all GOING to come together for you ! AND ------above all else - YOU ARE LOVED - SO THROW OUT THE SUGAR JUNK - (the kid can have it - YOU DO NOT NEED IT) And yes sugar free stuff is a little more expensive - but once you get the whole thing switched over? NOT REALLY just seems like it to begin with) And I have a whole lot of things that we do just as cheaply now at Walmart - Did you know butter has ??? many calories per tsp? Go look it will FLOOR you - margarine too....like 70...makes you stop lobbing it on in a hurry. OH and the first time you come out in a pair of jeans and get a wolf whistle from your hubby? ALL WORTH IT.......you can't bottle that feeling and buy it anywhere. SO OFF WITH YOU - YOU GO GIRL! YOU CAN DO EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIITTTTTTT and you have a ton of support here. I am proud of you! Hugs & Love Star [/QUOTE]
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