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4timmy
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 409314" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Do more.........than think about this. Believe in yourself at least 1/2......ONE HALF as much as I truly do...and this will be so easy for you - you will come back - with a brand new plan. I'm always here. If I fade away - post and someone will find me, I promise. </p><p> </p><p>As far as the why can't I get over it and move on? Actually that one isn't hard. When was the last time you actually GAVE yourself permission to mess up? We're all so worried about getting it right, doing it the best, being as close to perfect as we can....that we completely loose sight of the fact that it is very much okay to not get it right all the time, and when we don't? It's absolutely okay to ask ourselves for forgiveness as well as (points up). Be at peace enough with yourself to say - It's okay today if I mess up, because if I do? I will do my best to do better tomorrow. </p><p> </p><p>Thomas Edison said he didn't fail (I forget exactly the number but lets use 499) times in creating the filament for the lightbulb - he found 499 ways how not to make a lightbulb filament. I try to think like that when I look back on lots of things in my life now that I beat myself up over. The other thing that helped me tremendously regarding my life and how I raised my son was giving up the word SHOULD. More to the point the words "I should have" </p><p> </p><p>If I say I should have raised my son better. I'm really cheating myself. It's not fair to say that because I did the best job I could do at the time with the knowlede I had. I certainly didn't look at my son and say I should have raised you worse than I did. I should have left you out on the streets, I should have let you do drugs, I should have given you alcohol, I should have allowed you to be disrespectful and curse and swear at adults. No, I didn't do that. So by saying I should have - I cheat myself. I did what i did at that time because I was making the best choices I could. </p><p> </p><p>After it was explained to me like that? I eliminated I SHOULD have - from every day language and started telling myself - I did. I did the best I knew how to do. When I felt I did not do the best I knew how to do? I sought help. I got support. I found resources. Even then? That was doing the best I could do. </p><p> </p><p>It's all in perception. Even when you made choices as a child - You made the best choices you thought you could make, because you didn't know any better. Time to forgive yourself and move on. </p><p> </p><p>I hope you come back often - You're an awesome person, and when you do pull it all together? I'll be here.....still trying to pull me altogether too. It's a goal of mine too! </p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 409314, member: 4964"] Do more.........than think about this. Believe in yourself at least 1/2......ONE HALF as much as I truly do...and this will be so easy for you - you will come back - with a brand new plan. I'm always here. If I fade away - post and someone will find me, I promise. As far as the why can't I get over it and move on? Actually that one isn't hard. When was the last time you actually GAVE yourself permission to mess up? We're all so worried about getting it right, doing it the best, being as close to perfect as we can....that we completely loose sight of the fact that it is very much okay to not get it right all the time, and when we don't? It's absolutely okay to ask ourselves for forgiveness as well as (points up). Be at peace enough with yourself to say - It's okay today if I mess up, because if I do? I will do my best to do better tomorrow. Thomas Edison said he didn't fail (I forget exactly the number but lets use 499) times in creating the filament for the lightbulb - he found 499 ways how not to make a lightbulb filament. I try to think like that when I look back on lots of things in my life now that I beat myself up over. The other thing that helped me tremendously regarding my life and how I raised my son was giving up the word SHOULD. More to the point the words "I should have" If I say I should have raised my son better. I'm really cheating myself. It's not fair to say that because I did the best job I could do at the time with the knowlede I had. I certainly didn't look at my son and say I should have raised you worse than I did. I should have left you out on the streets, I should have let you do drugs, I should have given you alcohol, I should have allowed you to be disrespectful and curse and swear at adults. No, I didn't do that. So by saying I should have - I cheat myself. I did what i did at that time because I was making the best choices I could. After it was explained to me like that? I eliminated I SHOULD have - from every day language and started telling myself - I did. I did the best I knew how to do. When I felt I did not do the best I knew how to do? I sought help. I got support. I found resources. Even then? That was doing the best I could do. It's all in perception. Even when you made choices as a child - You made the best choices you thought you could make, because you didn't know any better. Time to forgive yourself and move on. I hope you come back often - You're an awesome person, and when you do pull it all together? I'll be here.....still trying to pull me altogether too. It's a goal of mine too! Hugs [/QUOTE]
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