5 year old screaming at teachers

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Kellymummy2boys, Mar 23, 2016.

  1. Kellymummy2boys

    Kellymummy2boys New Member

    Hello all!

    Brand new to this site as of this morning after a discussion with my sons deputy head!

    My son is 5 (6 in June) and he's having a difficult time at school, yesterday he was picked up kicking and screaming out of the class room.

    So my meeting today has implied all sorts from the deputy but she's put it in a "nice way".

    I've been advised to take parenting classes and speak to a doctor about an umbrella pathway assessment.

    My son has always been lively and happy but since nursery he's been on the schools radar, he has brilliant days and awful days.

    But now things are starting to be noted as he's getting older.

    These are the things that seem to worry the teachers-

    He's can't concentrate for long and finds doing his work a big task if he's not interested in the subject.
    If the teacher asked him to do something and he dosent want to do it he will say no, if they keep on at him he will scream at them telling them he dosent want to.
    He's really rough when he plays, he's hurt some of his friends.
    He dosent remember simple things I tell him 30 seconds after I've said it.
    Punishment dosent seem to bother him at all.
    He has no regard for authority.
    He can't control his emotions and gets angry really easily.

    I'd say he was jeckle and Hyde.

    He will be amazing and friendly and helpful on minute and an angry ball of shouting and grabbing the next.

    Has anyone gone through this with their child or had an umbrella pathway that could give me advise?

    Many thanks to you all for reading xx
  2. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Active Member

    Welcome, Kelly. I'm in the States, so I don't quite know what is meant by an "umbrella pathway." If that means that your son would be evaluated by more than one professional, go for it. Kids are complicated little people. Your son's behaviors could be rooted in many different causes. It may take a group of people working together to help him get a handle on his anger and get something out of his education.
  3. Kellymummy2boys

    Kellymummy2boys New Member

    Yes it means assessment for all different things! Thanks for your reply x
  4. nlj

    nlj Well-Known Member

    I screamed a lot in school.
    I used to kick my teacher. I hated her.
    I hated school. I hated primary school and hated secondary school even more.

    I'm a teacher now.
    That's funny isn't it?

    Some children hate school.
    It was a miserable place for me.

    I hope your son finds a teacher or someone else who understands him and can offer some help. I hope he finds a way to be happier there, if he has to go.
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  5. Kellymummy2boys

    Kellymummy2boys New Member

    Thanks for your reply!

    Yes I hope he finds all he needs to progress and shine!

    I'm just dealing with an angry little man and have no clue why!

    Home life is fine, I try to structure his routine, and I only shout if it's really needed.

    This past year has been tough for him, he's had a baby brother and lost his nanny in the space of two days and that the only thing I can think that has thrown him but that was 11 months ago so I'm not sure.

    I want to get him assessed to put this to bed but I hope all is ok and he grows out of it x
  6. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    The new baby and losing his nanny could be big changes for a little one. Is dad in the picture? Maybe he can have him more one on one I me? KSM
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I dont think it sounds normal and would have him privately evaluated if you can do that in your country. I would not want to miss the chsnce for early help. Sounds like he is escalating. I believe its better to be safe thsn sorry. Your son has attentional and memory as well as behavior problems and that would concern me if it were my child. Especially if he always had differences, and it sounds that way, I would want to figure it out and deal with it early ehile his brain is most pliable.

    Good luck.
  8. Praecepta

    Praecepta Member

    Yes do have him evaluated by a medical doctor and a psychologist. Sort of like a computer, there can be "hardware" (medical doctor) and/or "software" (psychologist) problems.

    At the same time take parenting classes. The best part of those classes is there will be other parents in the class who have kids with similar problems to yours - and they can offer suggestions which WORK! Ask at the school or a local mental health type department where you can find parenting classes.

    Another thing which can help (if you have time) is to sit in class and observe him. That can help with older kids and behavior problems - they will not misbehave if the parent is present in class. I don't know if that will help in your situation? But another thing you can try.

    And note that with some kids, "normal" parenting techniques simply do not work. So it is important to find out the specific diagnosis, learn about it, then use the specific techniques which have been show to work for that diagnosis. For example some kids DO NOT RESPOND WHATSOEVER to any sort of punishment or negative comments! BUT they do very well with positive comments. So might try that too.

    And "hyperactive" kids can be prescribed medicine and still do bad in school. But adjust the dosage up a little and all of a sudden they do wonderful! (So keep giving the doctor feedback about the kids behavior.)
  9. HMBgal

    HMBgal Active Member

    Oh gosh, sounds like my grandson. I do hope that the school knows how to handle kids like this. My grandson was a happy kid until he hit preschool, then he displayed all the behaviors you describe. He's gone on to be diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, and temper dysregulation disorder. But, with great support at school, a wonderful teacher, lots of good help, and yes, maturation, things are better. But, if the only environment in which he's acting out, it makes me suspicious. Does he act out at home when you make any requests or demands of him? Does have that mood lability at home, too? The memory issue is a little bit of a red flag for me, too, that he may have a brain difference that needs looking into. And you may want to pick up The Explosive Child book. It has been helpful to many of us.
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  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member


    Read The Explosive Chipd by Ross Greene. His book rocks and has helped many through the years I've been on here. A must have.
  11. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Highly recommended. You can't replace first-hand observation.

    Interesting side note, many of the techniques which DO work for challenging kids, also work for "normal" kids. Consistency, modeling, step-wise change...

    Another good book is "Smart Kids with School Problems".
  12. soapbox

    soapbox Member

    He's five. First year in school, really.

    I'm wondering if there is any pattern to when his behavior is worse? For example, does he get worse as the day wears on? Or perhaps when transitioning from one activity to another? Or better on days when the class is more quiet, and worse when it's noisy?

    I suspect you have a "complex kid". Sometimes called a "conundrum kid". Hard to figure out. Keep an open mind, and do lots of research. There may be one key diagnosis. But whether there is or not, there may well be other things happening too.

    Subtle things like Auditory Processing Disorders (APD), especially problems with auditory figure ground, are a massive challenge in a classroom setting. This is where the person hears everything but can't focus in on the "one" sound that needs to be listened to (i.e. teacher's voice, for example). Kids with this problem will do better working one on one in a quiet environment - and then can't do the same thing in a classroom. There is specific testing that can be done, and specific interventions.

    Another thing to watch out for is motor skills problems. One possible diagnosis here is Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD), where there is no problem with the musculo-skeletal system, nor with the brain, but in how the two work together. This can affect fine motor skills (writing, coloring, tying shoes), or gross skills (sports, riding a bike), or both. Either one is a huge challenge at school, and some kids deal with impairment in both fine and gross motor skills.

    It can be useful to get an Occupational Therapy evaluation done ahead of the comprehensive evaluation, unless you know for certain that the comprehensive evaluation will include this testing. An Occupational Therapist can test for motor skills issues and sensory challenges, and they have therapies and interventions to help both. The report you get from this evaluation can be sent to the person/team doing the comprehensive evaluation - they will consider this professionals perspective and findings.