Two days ago husband informed me that he had a meeting with a school he had been thinking of contacting. He came back signed up for classes. They start in July. He had been talking about starting school again, but I didn't think it would be so soon. I thought I still had some time to get myself together. Now is not a good time for him to start school. See I'm not functional right now. I can keep the kids safe, feed them, sorta get them cleaned up to go someplace (they're dressed with something on their feet) but that is it. I am the most depressed I have ever been. I have a dr appointment in about a week, but I don't think there will be anything the dr can give me while I'm pregnant. Since Zoloft had a study that connected it to autism. I normally get very depressed when pregnant. Scary, suicidal depressed which is why I've been on Zoloft for most of my pregnancies. husband has tried school 4 other times. Each time it is very hard on the rest of the family. He just doesn't balance school, work, and family well. It becomes balancing school and work and family gets left out. Last time he spent days shut in his room downstairs without talking to anyone. He completely ignored all holidays, that I was pregnant with Buster, the kids, ect.... I had the ultrasound to see if Buster was a boy or girl. We weren't talking at the time, so I left the pictures on his desk. I found them the next day on the floor. Last time I really tried to reach out to him, but nothing worked until he stopped school. I try to help him get through his classes, but he doesn't want my help and shuts me out. Then he fails because of misunderstandings with his teachers. I'm nervous about this. I have no idea how I'm going to get functional really fast. It feels like I'm thinking through a blanket. Even answering posts here is hard sometimes. I've reached out to the county mental health people and someone is going to be coming in once a week to help me clean and do the kids behavior stuff. I call my sister once a day. I set a goal and then report to her the next day. The county person is going to help me find a therapist. Talking to husband about this is useless. He only hears what he wants to. He is very aware of how depressed I am, but connecting his behavior with my emotions just doesn't click. Thanks for letting me worry out loud.