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General Parenting
64,000 dollar question
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<blockquote data-quote="pepperidge" data-source="post: 438074" data-attributes="member: 2322"><p>I notice from your signature that he is adopted. Do you know anything about his background? </p><p></p><p>I ask, because one thing you might want to consider is that he might have had some fetal alcohol exposure. If so, he may definitely be hardwired for having a very difficult time regulating himself. It is not your fault.</p><p>But you still have to find the best way of dealing with it. </p><p></p><p>The hard part is, whatever the diagnosis, to realize that he is not doing what he is doing on purpose. Being stricter with him won't change him and might create so much tension and conflict that he will come to feel like a bad person. At the same time, that doesn't mean that there are not limits and that you don't work to help him grow. I have to remember with one of my kids that developmentally he is many many years behind his peers even though he appears normal. </p><p></p><p>It is hard enough in the US to deal with disapproving culture. Having spent some time in France, I know what you are faced with. That is really tough. Are there any french support groups for ADHD children? That might be an interesting place to start.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pepperidge, post: 438074, member: 2322"] I notice from your signature that he is adopted. Do you know anything about his background? I ask, because one thing you might want to consider is that he might have had some fetal alcohol exposure. If so, he may definitely be hardwired for having a very difficult time regulating himself. It is not your fault. But you still have to find the best way of dealing with it. The hard part is, whatever the diagnosis, to realize that he is not doing what he is doing on purpose. Being stricter with him won't change him and might create so much tension and conflict that he will come to feel like a bad person. At the same time, that doesn't mean that there are not limits and that you don't work to help him grow. I have to remember with one of my kids that developmentally he is many many years behind his peers even though he appears normal. It is hard enough in the US to deal with disapproving culture. Having spent some time in France, I know what you are faced with. That is really tough. Are there any french support groups for ADHD children? That might be an interesting place to start. [/QUOTE]
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