Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
A chilling conversation with-Matt
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 430335" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am so very sorry. What he said scares me for you and for him. Esp for you because I have seen people in that state of mind suddenly decide that it is better to kill the one they are closest to rather than to wait for life/the world/whatever to kill them. That way they have control over when/if that person leaves them. It is totally irrational but it happens. I could see your Matt figuring that you will probably die soon because everyone leaves him so if he goes ahead and kills you it will just get it over with and he won't have to wait an wonder if today is the day that you leave him. Esp because when he got violent it was toward you back when he lived at home. </p><p></p><p>I don't think that getting him to a hospital would be easy and you certainly shouldn't try under ANY circumstances. A really GOOD psychiatric hospital MIGHT be able to MAYBE help him, but I have serious doubts. After all the things that went on when he was in the RTCs and other programs, he will fight tooth and nail to keep out of a facility. If at some point you think it is unavoidable, you will need the police to transport him. I do think that if you ever again have to have him involuntarily committed it will mean he either never speaks to you again or it will put a huge bull's eye target on your back. Then he will likely try to hurt you at some point because he will be focused on why it is all your fault. This isn't going to help either of you. It might be better for him to be in a hospital instead of a prison if he hurts someone, but I doubt that it will be possible to get him to agree to go so there are almost no hospitals that would take him for more than a 72 hr hold, which is rather useless. </p><p></p><p>I am so sorry that you have so few options. It isn't where you live that is limiting them, it is all the things the past places did in the name of therapy that really were abuse. I cannot blame him for thinking that the mental health care system isn't something he wants anything to do with. I just wish there was a way to get really good care for him and get him to accept and use the help. </p><p></p><p>You are going to have to make some tough decisions on this problem. If he hurts someone he will spend a LONG time in jail/prison and will get NO help and a lot of hurt. A psychiatric hospital would have to be locked and involuntary and they would have to seriously sedate him for a long time just to keep him there. this would mean that they would NOT be helpful because you cannot really treat someone who is so sedated. I just am worried that he will do something to you or someone else and then would wind up in prison when he really belongs in a psychiatric hospital. </p><p></p><p>As for being a sociopath, nope. Not your Matt. He loves you (even when he hates you) and he loves his dogs. Sociopaths do not love anyone. They have NO feelings. not happiness, sadness, anger, etc.... They do not kill because they are angry or scared, they kill because it helps them achieve some goal. Period. That goal may be to have fun, or may be to hide something or get someone to leave them alone or to take something from someone. But they are NOT worried about things and they are totally sure that they are right and that they have the right to do whatever they want. They do NOT read the criteria for being a sociopath because they do not care if they are or not. Your son just has too many feelings to be a sociopath. NOT that he isn't capable of hurting people, we all are, but he will be plagued by guilt for the rest of his life if he does. WHich is a good thing, in my opinion, because it may be the thing that stops him from hurting others. </p><p></p><p>It is going to be a long hard road for Matt and there is little that you can do about it. Right now his anger is probably directly related to his grief for your father, or at least that is why he is expressing these thoughts and feelings. If he can justs give it some time, he will be able to work through the grief. Medical marijuana is not likely to be the answer, though it is probably tempting to him. It will just suppress his feelings so that he doesn't care while he is high. In the end he will have to cope with all of this at some time or another. </p><p></p><p>((((((((((hugs)))))))))) You are both in my thoughts and prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 430335, member: 1233"] I am so very sorry. What he said scares me for you and for him. Esp for you because I have seen people in that state of mind suddenly decide that it is better to kill the one they are closest to rather than to wait for life/the world/whatever to kill them. That way they have control over when/if that person leaves them. It is totally irrational but it happens. I could see your Matt figuring that you will probably die soon because everyone leaves him so if he goes ahead and kills you it will just get it over with and he won't have to wait an wonder if today is the day that you leave him. Esp because when he got violent it was toward you back when he lived at home. I don't think that getting him to a hospital would be easy and you certainly shouldn't try under ANY circumstances. A really GOOD psychiatric hospital MIGHT be able to MAYBE help him, but I have serious doubts. After all the things that went on when he was in the RTCs and other programs, he will fight tooth and nail to keep out of a facility. If at some point you think it is unavoidable, you will need the police to transport him. I do think that if you ever again have to have him involuntarily committed it will mean he either never speaks to you again or it will put a huge bull's eye target on your back. Then he will likely try to hurt you at some point because he will be focused on why it is all your fault. This isn't going to help either of you. It might be better for him to be in a hospital instead of a prison if he hurts someone, but I doubt that it will be possible to get him to agree to go so there are almost no hospitals that would take him for more than a 72 hr hold, which is rather useless. I am so sorry that you have so few options. It isn't where you live that is limiting them, it is all the things the past places did in the name of therapy that really were abuse. I cannot blame him for thinking that the mental health care system isn't something he wants anything to do with. I just wish there was a way to get really good care for him and get him to accept and use the help. You are going to have to make some tough decisions on this problem. If he hurts someone he will spend a LONG time in jail/prison and will get NO help and a lot of hurt. A psychiatric hospital would have to be locked and involuntary and they would have to seriously sedate him for a long time just to keep him there. this would mean that they would NOT be helpful because you cannot really treat someone who is so sedated. I just am worried that he will do something to you or someone else and then would wind up in prison when he really belongs in a psychiatric hospital. As for being a sociopath, nope. Not your Matt. He loves you (even when he hates you) and he loves his dogs. Sociopaths do not love anyone. They have NO feelings. not happiness, sadness, anger, etc.... They do not kill because they are angry or scared, they kill because it helps them achieve some goal. Period. That goal may be to have fun, or may be to hide something or get someone to leave them alone or to take something from someone. But they are NOT worried about things and they are totally sure that they are right and that they have the right to do whatever they want. They do NOT read the criteria for being a sociopath because they do not care if they are or not. Your son just has too many feelings to be a sociopath. NOT that he isn't capable of hurting people, we all are, but he will be plagued by guilt for the rest of his life if he does. WHich is a good thing, in my opinion, because it may be the thing that stops him from hurting others. It is going to be a long hard road for Matt and there is little that you can do about it. Right now his anger is probably directly related to his grief for your father, or at least that is why he is expressing these thoughts and feelings. If he can justs give it some time, he will be able to work through the grief. Medical marijuana is not likely to be the answer, though it is probably tempting to him. It will just suppress his feelings so that he doesn't care while he is high. In the end he will have to cope with all of this at some time or another. ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) You are both in my thoughts and prayers. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
A chilling conversation with-Matt
Top