Ok so my son is nearing his 90 days in rehab. We had a conference call this morning to talk about what is next. The good news is he has decided to stay down there for a while, go to a halfway house, get a job, and get on his feet. I think he is scared about being on his own. One option he is also thinking about is staying in treatment for another month to kind of transition... this is not a bad idea and we said we would support him (ie pay for it) if he decided to do that. So all that is the good news. What frustarted me was his attitude. It seemed off from the beginning. When I asked him how he felt about this plan he said "I don't care"... when I pressed him further he just said we were making assumptions. So that did not feel good... then somehow the conversation got to the issue of transportation when he is doing all these things. He feels he will need a car. Well my first reaction is I don't think we should buy you a car... it just got messy after that. I said I was feeling manipulated and he hung up on us. A while later they called us back and the other therapist joined in and said, it is too soon to be talking about a car. My husband and I talked about it and really for us to consider helping him with a car we need to see he is really going to follow through on his plans... so maybe he needs to take the bus for a while and show he is really committed to making his recovery work. And if and when we are looking at helping him we are thinking of cosigning a loan or giving him a loan or something. We in no way want to be liable, so it has to be his car, he as to get a liscence there, he needs to get his own insurance. And of course it would have to be a used car....I can see that if he is really doing all these things, going to work, going to therapy, going to community college he may need a car and he won't have the money for it, but somehow it needs to be his responsibility even if we loan him the money. Anyway what frustrated me was his attitude through out... still that entitlement and manipulation. I think the therapists got a chance to see how he is with us which is good. I was glad that we had contact.... but I am laying low and will wait now for him to contact us again.