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Substance Abuse
A little frustrated...
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 398994" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>We ran into a similar situation when thank you aged out/dropped out of the TLP. He actually had the nerve to tell husband that husband needed to go up to the city to get thank you a dresser and a bed. This was after... well, a very difficult 18 months in the TLP with- drug use, truancy, being AWOL more often than not, and generally not doing a darn thing to help himself. husband said "no", and I fully supported that (which is why I think thank you asked husband rather than me, LOL). Entitlement was running rampant, and I just wasn't having anything to do with it.</p><p></p><p>That was almost 2 years ago. In the interim, we have purchased some household goods for him, but only when we felt like it (meaning when he wasn't asking for things). Doing without has made him grateful for unexpected gifts. It has not done anything in terms of him taking care of things we give him - age old story, not sure he ever will take care of his stuff - I don't stress over that anymore. Gifts are no strings attached. I kind of do tend to "reward" gift. He's not currently using (near as I can tell), has left a really bad situation and done some smart things to keep himself removed from it. He knows better than to outright ask for things, but I'm more inclined to help him out right now (clothes, shoes, necessities, plus paying for his phone and even a date here and there) than I was when he was really digging himself a hole.</p><p></p><p>I know that he had a horrific first year "on his own". I don't know all the details, don't want to. But it was enough to make him a bit more appreciative of us and our help, and he accepts that it is on our terms, not his. I think the sense of entitlement is "normal", but I also think it is more than okay to say "no".</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 398994, member: 8"] We ran into a similar situation when thank you aged out/dropped out of the TLP. He actually had the nerve to tell husband that husband needed to go up to the city to get thank you a dresser and a bed. This was after... well, a very difficult 18 months in the TLP with- drug use, truancy, being AWOL more often than not, and generally not doing a darn thing to help himself. husband said "no", and I fully supported that (which is why I think thank you asked husband rather than me, LOL). Entitlement was running rampant, and I just wasn't having anything to do with it. That was almost 2 years ago. In the interim, we have purchased some household goods for him, but only when we felt like it (meaning when he wasn't asking for things). Doing without has made him grateful for unexpected gifts. It has not done anything in terms of him taking care of things we give him - age old story, not sure he ever will take care of his stuff - I don't stress over that anymore. Gifts are no strings attached. I kind of do tend to "reward" gift. He's not currently using (near as I can tell), has left a really bad situation and done some smart things to keep himself removed from it. He knows better than to outright ask for things, but I'm more inclined to help him out right now (clothes, shoes, necessities, plus paying for his phone and even a date here and there) than I was when he was really digging himself a hole. I know that he had a horrific first year "on his own". I don't know all the details, don't want to. But it was enough to make him a bit more appreciative of us and our help, and he accepts that it is on our terms, not his. I think the sense of entitlement is "normal", but I also think it is more than okay to say "no". [/QUOTE]
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