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Substance Abuse
A little frustrated...
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 399152"><p>Thanks. I just had the 2nd call and it did go a lot better. The therapist is really good. Nothing like someone who is in recovery (for years) telling another addict the truth. She told him it was like he was keeping a score card and that is not the way it works. At one point he said "give a little get a little" and it is true this has been his attitude, I am giving you something so I should get something. We have fallen for that in the past. So today I repeated it is not the way it works. He has to do this for himself. If he decides not to stay in recovery that is HIS choice. In fact taking the bus won't hurt him... well his entitlement came through because the busses are disgusting, people vomiting etc. he doesn't want to sit on busses with homeless guys.</p><p> </p><p>HA I think that would do him good... see what homeless guys are really like because if you relapse and are drinking and drugging that could be you!!! I did not say that of course.</p><p> </p><p>The therapist pointed out that addicts need to get to the place where they will do ANYTHING for recovery. </p><p> </p><p>So we are not talking about a car right now. Our feeling is we will not give him a car, it needs to be something he appreciates... once he is on his feet, done what he needs to do for a job etc. then we wil consider loaning him the money or cosigning a loan. But he needs to show us first that he will do the hard work to continue with his recovery. He is staying down there which is great. I am a little nervous about the halfway house because it is pretty new and run by someone who used to work there... so it feels a bit iffy... but my son knows people there and so is more comfortable with the idea etc... and there is the connection to the place where he will continue with groups and therapy.</p><p> </p><p>He is not going to stay an extra month which makes sense. The treatment team feels he is ready for the next step, and he might actually go backwards if he just stays there which also makes sense.</p><p> </p><p>I did ask him again how he felt about it. He said yesterday when he said he didn't care that he meant he didn't care what we thought, but that he was excited about it.</p><p> </p><p>So time will tell.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 399152"] Thanks. I just had the 2nd call and it did go a lot better. The therapist is really good. Nothing like someone who is in recovery (for years) telling another addict the truth. She told him it was like he was keeping a score card and that is not the way it works. At one point he said "give a little get a little" and it is true this has been his attitude, I am giving you something so I should get something. We have fallen for that in the past. So today I repeated it is not the way it works. He has to do this for himself. If he decides not to stay in recovery that is HIS choice. In fact taking the bus won't hurt him... well his entitlement came through because the busses are disgusting, people vomiting etc. he doesn't want to sit on busses with homeless guys. HA I think that would do him good... see what homeless guys are really like because if you relapse and are drinking and drugging that could be you!!! I did not say that of course. The therapist pointed out that addicts need to get to the place where they will do ANYTHING for recovery. So we are not talking about a car right now. Our feeling is we will not give him a car, it needs to be something he appreciates... once he is on his feet, done what he needs to do for a job etc. then we wil consider loaning him the money or cosigning a loan. But he needs to show us first that he will do the hard work to continue with his recovery. He is staying down there which is great. I am a little nervous about the halfway house because it is pretty new and run by someone who used to work there... so it feels a bit iffy... but my son knows people there and so is more comfortable with the idea etc... and there is the connection to the place where he will continue with groups and therapy. He is not going to stay an extra month which makes sense. The treatment team feels he is ready for the next step, and he might actually go backwards if he just stays there which also makes sense. I did ask him again how he felt about it. He said yesterday when he said he didn't care that he meant he didn't care what we thought, but that he was excited about it. So time will tell. [/QUOTE]
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