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A new diagnosis for difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 637841" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I have PCOS. I have 3 kids. I have a LOT of friends and relatives with PCOS who have children. One friend had it and endometriosis so very badly that her periods were total nightmares. I can remember her praying to not wake up, and asking us to kill her. The pain really was THAT bad. BAck then the ONLY treatment was the pill. It took her mother having a total fit to get them to give her muscle relaxers and pain medications for the really bad days. She had awful awful cramps and n OTC medication did ANYTHING.</p><p></p><p>At 16 her gyno told her that if she wanted kids she needed to get pregnant right then. He was a slime ball and she refused t go back. Her mother was totally furious (her mom was in the room when the dr told her this - it wasn't my friend making it up which of course is what it sounded like at first). She got a new doctor because that is NOT what you tell a 16yo.</p><p></p><p>My friend has 4 kids. Most of the women I know with PCOS and kids did not need fertility treatments even. We were all told we probably would, but we did not.</p><p></p><p>I do know 2 women who have PCOS and wanted kids but did not have them. Both of them were incredibly promiscuous and had repeated STD and would often just ignore the risk of STDs and find out that they had STDs for months at a time. This causes scarring and damage and even with-o PCOS the docs often tell you that you are likely to have a very hard time getting pregnant. One of the women blames her lack of children on PCOS but the other is more realistic in acknowledging that the STD's and lack of prompt treatment for them are vastly more likly to be the cause of her infertility. </p><p></p><p>Idon't thnk the PCOS is going to wreck her life. She does ahve to learn about her diet and how to manage it for the PCOS, but only when SHE is ready. Forcing her will only mean she fights every step. </p><p></p><p>Even if she refuses to manage the insulin resistance, it is HER body. don't cut her slack or go lightly on her because she is hurting from the PCOS if she isn't doing what she needs to in order to manage the disease. If she wants sympathy and excuses, she can have that when she is Queen of the World. Until then, your roof and your rules should mean she has to take responsibility for her body. If she wants special treatment due to this, she needs to earn it by following the dr and nutritionist advice. otherwise, too bad soooooo sad go clean up the bathroom. Oh, you are angry? Great - put that energy to work and scrub the tub. </p><p></p><p>I am serious. This CANNOT be an excuse fr her, not if you want her to grow up and have a life. MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of women have PCOS and they go live productive lives. It isn't a death sentence or disability. The friend with PCOS and endometriosis has held a full time job or 1-4 part time jobs since she was 16. She also raised 3 kids in a house in the country where she homeschooled them and took care of a heck f a lot of livestock in addition to her out of the house jobs. Sure, every couple of months she hurt so bad she had to stay home, but those days were very rare. </p><p></p><p>One thing that I think your daughter really NEEDS to learn is that you can feel miserable at school ro a job just as you can at home. But if you are at home, you are not doing anything to progress in your life or to achieve something. You are just sitting at home like a bump on a couch. You still feel yucky, but at least at school there are distractions and people to talk to (or mock in your head, whatever).</p><p></p><p>I am sorry she has this, but I think you need to let her take the reins on this and live with the consequences of not staying on the path. She will be of legal age very soon and she truly NEEDS to learn how to handle her own body. </p><p></p><p>Just my $0.02, for whatever it is worth.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 637841, member: 1233"] I have PCOS. I have 3 kids. I have a LOT of friends and relatives with PCOS who have children. One friend had it and endometriosis so very badly that her periods were total nightmares. I can remember her praying to not wake up, and asking us to kill her. The pain really was THAT bad. BAck then the ONLY treatment was the pill. It took her mother having a total fit to get them to give her muscle relaxers and pain medications for the really bad days. She had awful awful cramps and n OTC medication did ANYTHING. At 16 her gyno told her that if she wanted kids she needed to get pregnant right then. He was a slime ball and she refused t go back. Her mother was totally furious (her mom was in the room when the dr told her this - it wasn't my friend making it up which of course is what it sounded like at first). She got a new doctor because that is NOT what you tell a 16yo. My friend has 4 kids. Most of the women I know with PCOS and kids did not need fertility treatments even. We were all told we probably would, but we did not. I do know 2 women who have PCOS and wanted kids but did not have them. Both of them were incredibly promiscuous and had repeated STD and would often just ignore the risk of STDs and find out that they had STDs for months at a time. This causes scarring and damage and even with-o PCOS the docs often tell you that you are likely to have a very hard time getting pregnant. One of the women blames her lack of children on PCOS but the other is more realistic in acknowledging that the STD's and lack of prompt treatment for them are vastly more likly to be the cause of her infertility. Idon't thnk the PCOS is going to wreck her life. She does ahve to learn about her diet and how to manage it for the PCOS, but only when SHE is ready. Forcing her will only mean she fights every step. Even if she refuses to manage the insulin resistance, it is HER body. don't cut her slack or go lightly on her because she is hurting from the PCOS if she isn't doing what she needs to in order to manage the disease. If she wants sympathy and excuses, she can have that when she is Queen of the World. Until then, your roof and your rules should mean she has to take responsibility for her body. If she wants special treatment due to this, she needs to earn it by following the dr and nutritionist advice. otherwise, too bad soooooo sad go clean up the bathroom. Oh, you are angry? Great - put that energy to work and scrub the tub. I am serious. This CANNOT be an excuse fr her, not if you want her to grow up and have a life. MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of women have PCOS and they go live productive lives. It isn't a death sentence or disability. The friend with PCOS and endometriosis has held a full time job or 1-4 part time jobs since she was 16. She also raised 3 kids in a house in the country where she homeschooled them and took care of a heck f a lot of livestock in addition to her out of the house jobs. Sure, every couple of months she hurt so bad she had to stay home, but those days were very rare. One thing that I think your daughter really NEEDS to learn is that you can feel miserable at school ro a job just as you can at home. But if you are at home, you are not doing anything to progress in your life or to achieve something. You are just sitting at home like a bump on a couch. You still feel yucky, but at least at school there are distractions and people to talk to (or mock in your head, whatever). I am sorry she has this, but I think you need to let her take the reins on this and live with the consequences of not staying on the path. She will be of legal age very soon and she truly NEEDS to learn how to handle her own body. Just my $0.02, for whatever it is worth. [/QUOTE]
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