Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
A new/different problem
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 54303" data-attributes="member: 3"><p><span style='font-size: 11pt'>busywend, I would still error on the side of caution. A lot of teens(especially girls) talk the talk but don't walk the walk. They claim all the right words like abstinence because there is a lot of social pressure from adults to have those words in their conversations. I still think it doesn't change the spots on a leopard. Heck a lot of the girls get pregnant because they are not prepared with birth control because they didn't really believe in premarital sex. It just sort of happened. </p><p>Having conversations with your daughter about what happens in the life of the friends and the baby due to an unplanned pregnancy is a way for her to understand the consequences as it relates to them. (which as teens is the only ones they really care about. Well, maybe a girlfriend or two)</p><p>I wouldn't do too much of a happy dance yet. I don't for a second think that teens aren't heavily geared towards sex biologically. Teens brains just can't compete with their hormone levels and do stupid things or don't think about it. It just happens one day when they weren't planning it. </p><p>I'm much more comfortable with a teen who hears about self control and self respect. Not being a victim of "it just happened" as if they had no ability to control it.</p><p>There is a funny book on tape called Madera's View on Life(I think that's the title. It's by Tyler Perry. It's a lot of common sense and funny folk wisdom. I loved it and listened to it on a long drive. She speaks of keeping your "frisbee" special and not a used up, chewed over toy. It's really about self respect and understanding a girl is special if she treats herself as special. I would listen to it with your daughter as you are driving. I wouldn't even tell her it's educational. It's comedy. Just a suggestion. </p><p>At 16,she will make the choices she wants regardless of her father's mistrust. She also has to accept that her dad is this way and she has burnt some bridges. It's something she is going to have to live with. My dad was scary, strict and intolerant. Didn't stop us a lick. We just got better at covering our tracks. It was "something" we kept from our parents as opposed to doing the right thing as a moral issue. We weren't bad kids as kids go but we tried beer, cigarettes and oh we loved boys even though it was very tightly controlled. We never got dad to change the way he saw his kids. He didn't really give a care what we thought. </p><p></p><p>So I'm saying a little fear is a good way to reinforce boundaries. It's his home and he gets to do as he pleases. All he will do is alienate difficult child and teach her to go underground. You on the other hand have the job of teaching good moral choices because it's the right thing to do. </span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 54303, member: 3"] <span style='font-size: 11pt'>busywend, I would still error on the side of caution. A lot of teens(especially girls) talk the talk but don't walk the walk. They claim all the right words like abstinence because there is a lot of social pressure from adults to have those words in their conversations. I still think it doesn't change the spots on a leopard. Heck a lot of the girls get pregnant because they are not prepared with birth control because they didn't really believe in premarital sex. It just sort of happened. Having conversations with your daughter about what happens in the life of the friends and the baby due to an unplanned pregnancy is a way for her to understand the consequences as it relates to them. (which as teens is the only ones they really care about. Well, maybe a girlfriend or two) I wouldn't do too much of a happy dance yet. I don't for a second think that teens aren't heavily geared towards sex biologically. Teens brains just can't compete with their hormone levels and do stupid things or don't think about it. It just happens one day when they weren't planning it. I'm much more comfortable with a teen who hears about self control and self respect. Not being a victim of "it just happened" as if they had no ability to control it. There is a funny book on tape called Madera's View on Life(I think that's the title. It's by Tyler Perry. It's a lot of common sense and funny folk wisdom. I loved it and listened to it on a long drive. She speaks of keeping your "frisbee" special and not a used up, chewed over toy. It's really about self respect and understanding a girl is special if she treats herself as special. I would listen to it with your daughter as you are driving. I wouldn't even tell her it's educational. It's comedy. Just a suggestion. At 16,she will make the choices she wants regardless of her father's mistrust. She also has to accept that her dad is this way and she has burnt some bridges. It's something she is going to have to live with. My dad was scary, strict and intolerant. Didn't stop us a lick. We just got better at covering our tracks. It was "something" we kept from our parents as opposed to doing the right thing as a moral issue. We weren't bad kids as kids go but we tried beer, cigarettes and oh we loved boys even though it was very tightly controlled. We never got dad to change the way he saw his kids. He didn't really give a care what we thought. So I'm saying a little fear is a good way to reinforce boundaries. It's his home and he gets to do as he pleases. All he will do is alienate difficult child and teach her to go underground. You on the other hand have the job of teaching good moral choices because it's the right thing to do. </span> [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
A new/different problem
Top