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General Parenting
a new wrinkle
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 27550" data-attributes="member: 3"><p><span style='font-size: 11pt'>Janet, as long as Ant does what he should, then go with it. He learns different than an average young man.(so does my difficult child) Most people know you can't rent an apt. without credit before the they burn the bridge behind him. He learned it after. </p><p>Taking care of Kaleb is full of potholes. Making sure the child is not in danger and has what he needs is different than being the primary caretaker. At some point this will be a source of conflict. Ant(and most difficult child's) will say in the heat of the moment that "this is my child and you have no say" as he removes Kaleb to another state, home, girlfriend etc. The problem is that Kaleb is torn from the only thing he knows as home. You have your heart torn out as your sacrifice and effort is dismissed. </p><p>I would think long and hard and project into the future how you want the relationship with grandson to look. </p><p>Ant needs to be going to pediatrician and taking care of kaleb's primary needs with you as a safety net. </p><p>I wouldn't have a problem of helping Ant understand how he shoots himself in the foot and how he hurts you when he is unappreciative and mean. If he learns and goes back to being the man he should to be then I would probably go forward. Some point it will be enough or your own life will take another path and he will have to be cut loose. </p><p>Anyhow that's how I see it from my seat. </p><p>The other side is that you assume you are the primary caretaker and always will be. This isn't a bad thing. It's just a choice. Some grandmother's are happy and comfortable with that choice and some aren't. It's up to you.</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 27550, member: 3"] <span style='font-size: 11pt'>Janet, as long as Ant does what he should, then go with it. He learns different than an average young man.(so does my difficult child) Most people know you can't rent an apt. without credit before the they burn the bridge behind him. He learned it after. Taking care of Kaleb is full of potholes. Making sure the child is not in danger and has what he needs is different than being the primary caretaker. At some point this will be a source of conflict. Ant(and most difficult child's) will say in the heat of the moment that "this is my child and you have no say" as he removes Kaleb to another state, home, girlfriend etc. The problem is that Kaleb is torn from the only thing he knows as home. You have your heart torn out as your sacrifice and effort is dismissed. I would think long and hard and project into the future how you want the relationship with grandson to look. Ant needs to be going to pediatrician and taking care of kaleb's primary needs with you as a safety net. I wouldn't have a problem of helping Ant understand how he shoots himself in the foot and how he hurts you when he is unappreciative and mean. If he learns and goes back to being the man he should to be then I would probably go forward. Some point it will be enough or your own life will take another path and he will have to be cut loose. Anyhow that's how I see it from my seat. The other side is that you assume you are the primary caretaker and always will be. This isn't a bad thing. It's just a choice. Some grandmother's are happy and comfortable with that choice and some aren't. It's up to you.</span> [/QUOTE]
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