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A Parent's Dictionary
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<blockquote data-quote="Marg's Man" data-source="post: 152881" data-attributes="member: 4085"><p>Applies to all parental situations not just difficult child's.</p><p></p><p>Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.</p><p>Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.</p><p>Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.</p><p>Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.</p><p>Prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.</p><p>Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry clothes/shoes into it.</p><p>Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.</p><p>Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.</p><p>Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.</p><p>Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.</p><p>Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.</p><p>Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.</p><p>Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.</p><p>Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.</p><p>Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster</p><p>Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.</p><p>Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.</p><p>Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.</p><p>Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.</p><p>Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.</p><p>Two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.</p><p>Verbal: Able to whine in words</p><p>Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.</p><p>Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into get a sponge.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marg's Man, post: 152881, member: 4085"] Applies to all parental situations not just difficult child's. Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too. Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside. Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins. Prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms. Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry clothes/shoes into it. Show off: A child who is more talented than yours. Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it. Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything. Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it. Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own. Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him. Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid. Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say. Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children. Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies. Two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises. Verbal: Able to whine in words Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house. Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into get a sponge. [/QUOTE]
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