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A Safe Place
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 154229" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>I was fortunated that I had a spare bedroom when mine was young. Her room had her bed, a ceiling lamp and some things in the closet. I had a sheet of plexiglass that I could bolt across her window. Her toys and clothes were in the spare room. So, her room became her "safe" room. I still left some things in it for her to destroy (old comforters, the clothes left in her closet) and throw (pillows, nerf balls, etc.). I found if the room was totally "safe" it made it worse for her. She really did need to release the frustration.</p><p> </p><p>Fortunately, by the time she reached the age and size that I couldn't physically put her in the room alone she had learned some anger-coping skills. Plus, peer pressure was beginning to have an effect and she wanted to be able to play in HER room with her friends. This helped her to keep from destroying her room in its entirety.</p><p> </p><p>One thing that did help make the room more acceptable was the explanation by her therapist, her social worker and me that this was not a punishment but was to protect her. If she broke things in other parts of the house, she could really get hurt (we filmed a plate being broken against a wall and replayed it for her in slow motion to show how the broken glass shattered). This made some of the fighting to be taken there a little less (not much, but enough where she didn't try to kill me putting her in there). It is very important that a safe room not be perceived as a punishment. It is a place for a person to gain control and, if necessary, be able to vent.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 154229, member: 3626"] I was fortunated that I had a spare bedroom when mine was young. Her room had her bed, a ceiling lamp and some things in the closet. I had a sheet of plexiglass that I could bolt across her window. Her toys and clothes were in the spare room. So, her room became her "safe" room. I still left some things in it for her to destroy (old comforters, the clothes left in her closet) and throw (pillows, nerf balls, etc.). I found if the room was totally "safe" it made it worse for her. She really did need to release the frustration. Fortunately, by the time she reached the age and size that I couldn't physically put her in the room alone she had learned some anger-coping skills. Plus, peer pressure was beginning to have an effect and she wanted to be able to play in HER room with her friends. This helped her to keep from destroying her room in its entirety. One thing that did help make the room more acceptable was the explanation by her therapist, her social worker and me that this was not a punishment but was to protect her. If she broke things in other parts of the house, she could really get hurt (we filmed a plate being broken against a wall and replayed it for her in slow motion to show how the broken glass shattered). This made some of the fighting to be taken there a little less (not much, but enough where she didn't try to kill me putting her in there). It is very important that a safe room not be perceived as a punishment. It is a place for a person to gain control and, if necessary, be able to vent. [/QUOTE]
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