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Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
A stab of guilt, I could use some support...........
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 574362" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>I still have those feelings sometimes. It is more sadness than guilt but it comes up and takes some effort to put back down again. I too have been absorbing others' deficiencies my entire life. I hate that my parents programed me to be that way. I also find that I can get bitter at times for all my lost opportunities because I was taking care of and cleaning up after others. One day about a year ago, I woke up and I decided that 60 years of living a life that was forced on me rather than one I chose for myself is enough. When looked at that way, I realized there is no need to feel guilty when I spend time and money on myself. We parents aren't going to live forever. Our difficult children will have to learn to cope without us anyway. So why not have a few years of a life that we design full of the things we choose rather than the one our difficult children would pick for us . </p><p></p><p>Funny even as I type this I have to remind myself that doing this isn't being selfish. -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 574362, member: 2315"] I still have those feelings sometimes. It is more sadness than guilt but it comes up and takes some effort to put back down again. I too have been absorbing others' deficiencies my entire life. I hate that my parents programed me to be that way. I also find that I can get bitter at times for all my lost opportunities because I was taking care of and cleaning up after others. One day about a year ago, I woke up and I decided that 60 years of living a life that was forced on me rather than one I chose for myself is enough. When looked at that way, I realized there is no need to feel guilty when I spend time and money on myself. We parents aren't going to live forever. Our difficult children will have to learn to cope without us anyway. So why not have a few years of a life that we design full of the things we choose rather than the one our difficult children would pick for us . Funny even as I type this I have to remind myself that doing this isn't being selfish. -RM [/QUOTE]
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A stab of guilt, I could use some support...........
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