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Aaron update: Our Neurologist reported us to CPS!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 115791" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I wouldn't be immediately rushing to get a new doctor, not until I sat and thought it out. The doctor did have to report any concerns she genuinely held, it is better to have a doctor act when it's not needed, than to not act when it's needed. If CPS's investigation shows the doctor's concerns are ungrounded, you have won on two counts - you have been cleared; and in fact are MORE clear than a family that has not been investigated at all.</p><p></p><p>I also wouldn't be writing the letter. I would see the doctor, at least one more time, to see if it is possible to salvage a working relationship out of this. To immediately rush off and change doctors is also the action of someone with something to hide, you shouldn't do it lightly. By going back at least one more time - you're showing that you're not afraid to face accusations so you can refute them.</p><p></p><p>I would not be making accusations about her in turn, that is childish and pointless and would not help your case one iota. It's tempting to think about, but don't do anything more than dream.</p><p></p><p>Only you can know if you feel you need to move on (for other reasons - she DID make this accusation after only a 30 minute consultation). But at least give it a try, in case she really felt she was doing the right thing and with your name cleared, she realises she got it wrong and wants to help.</p><p></p><p>Once your name is cleared, there are two possible responses you could get from her:</p><p></p><p>1) "I am sorry, I got it wrong, I really was concerned for him, I'm glad I was wrong and can now see for myself that you are caring parents who want to help your child."</p><p></p><p>Or</p><p></p><p>2)"Crikey, you must be cunning, you fooled CPS, but you haven't fooled me. I'll be watching you like a hawk, any chance I think you're abusing your son and I have the evidence, I will dob you in so fast your head will spin."</p><p></p><p>Both these views are diametrically opposed. A doctor with the second opinion - yes, you would have to move on, but no way could anyone criticise you for doing so. But a doctor with the first opinion - unless she is also totally incompetent, she could turn out to be your biggest ally. Her own guilty conscience would make her bend over backwards to give you what you want.</p><p></p><p>And there is a concern if you choose to move on - the next doctor won't know you either, and could make the same judgement call given the same information.</p><p>You do need to avoid that, because coming on the back of the previous complaint, that would result in a much more detailed examination by CPS, dotting i's and crossing t's. A big time-waster but also a darn nuisance when all you want is help for your child.</p><p></p><p>This is a very unpleasant thing to have to deal with, on top of everything else. been there done that, when difficult child 3 was 2 years old and a child care inspector blew the whistle on us because of difficult child 3's language delay. When CPS (equivalent) called, they made me feel like a loser and used circular logic to insist I was a bad mother for not helping my child. It didn't help that we live in a very small town and I was already having trouble with local gossips who were whispering that nasty word, "Munchhausen's". It takes time and careful effort to get that word shown to be wrong.</p><p></p><p>Good luck with this one. Go patiently, carefully and keep good records. Keep them handy so you can always be ready to answer criticisms like this - there will be more. Even those who don't deserve it, get this sort of scrutiny to deal with from time to time.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes it's the only way to teach the critics about what we have to deal with.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 115791, member: 1991"] I wouldn't be immediately rushing to get a new doctor, not until I sat and thought it out. The doctor did have to report any concerns she genuinely held, it is better to have a doctor act when it's not needed, than to not act when it's needed. If CPS's investigation shows the doctor's concerns are ungrounded, you have won on two counts - you have been cleared; and in fact are MORE clear than a family that has not been investigated at all. I also wouldn't be writing the letter. I would see the doctor, at least one more time, to see if it is possible to salvage a working relationship out of this. To immediately rush off and change doctors is also the action of someone with something to hide, you shouldn't do it lightly. By going back at least one more time - you're showing that you're not afraid to face accusations so you can refute them. I would not be making accusations about her in turn, that is childish and pointless and would not help your case one iota. It's tempting to think about, but don't do anything more than dream. Only you can know if you feel you need to move on (for other reasons - she DID make this accusation after only a 30 minute consultation). But at least give it a try, in case she really felt she was doing the right thing and with your name cleared, she realises she got it wrong and wants to help. Once your name is cleared, there are two possible responses you could get from her: 1) "I am sorry, I got it wrong, I really was concerned for him, I'm glad I was wrong and can now see for myself that you are caring parents who want to help your child." Or 2)"Crikey, you must be cunning, you fooled CPS, but you haven't fooled me. I'll be watching you like a hawk, any chance I think you're abusing your son and I have the evidence, I will dob you in so fast your head will spin." Both these views are diametrically opposed. A doctor with the second opinion - yes, you would have to move on, but no way could anyone criticise you for doing so. But a doctor with the first opinion - unless she is also totally incompetent, she could turn out to be your biggest ally. Her own guilty conscience would make her bend over backwards to give you what you want. And there is a concern if you choose to move on - the next doctor won't know you either, and could make the same judgement call given the same information. You do need to avoid that, because coming on the back of the previous complaint, that would result in a much more detailed examination by CPS, dotting i's and crossing t's. A big time-waster but also a darn nuisance when all you want is help for your child. This is a very unpleasant thing to have to deal with, on top of everything else. been there done that, when difficult child 3 was 2 years old and a child care inspector blew the whistle on us because of difficult child 3's language delay. When CPS (equivalent) called, they made me feel like a loser and used circular logic to insist I was a bad mother for not helping my child. It didn't help that we live in a very small town and I was already having trouble with local gossips who were whispering that nasty word, "Munchhausen's". It takes time and careful effort to get that word shown to be wrong. Good luck with this one. Go patiently, carefully and keep good records. Keep them handy so you can always be ready to answer criticisms like this - there will be more. Even those who don't deserve it, get this sort of scrutiny to deal with from time to time. Sometimes it's the only way to teach the critics about what we have to deal with. Marg [/QUOTE]
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Aaron update: Our Neurologist reported us to CPS!!
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