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adopted 10 yr old twins with ADHD--PLease help!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 416797" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'm an adoptive mom four times. It WAS more, but we adopted an eleven year old terror who ended up killing our dogs (and probably other neighborhood critters) and sexually abusing our two younger adopted children. He is gone. We have no contact. He was too damaged by his age to work out in any family. I shudder to think of him out on the streets now as he is about twenty years old. Do you have other children at home? Pets?</p><p></p><p>My strong advice is to reconsider if you really want them in your family. If you already dread coming home from work, that is not a good sign. Older kids from foster care have most often been abused in every way and do not know how to form attachments to others (nor do they want to learn how). Have you looked into Attachment Disorder? I'd be very surprised if ADHD is all that's going on with those two. Were they exposed to drugs or alcohol in utero?</p><p></p><p>Sorry to come across as negative. I have been a member of an adoptive parent group for many years and have heard very few good stories when families adopt older children from foster care. In general, they are damaged way before we get them. Love does not conquer all.</p><p></p><p>Good luck, whatever you decide to do <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Welcome to the board.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 416797, member: 1550"] I'm an adoptive mom four times. It WAS more, but we adopted an eleven year old terror who ended up killing our dogs (and probably other neighborhood critters) and sexually abusing our two younger adopted children. He is gone. We have no contact. He was too damaged by his age to work out in any family. I shudder to think of him out on the streets now as he is about twenty years old. Do you have other children at home? Pets? My strong advice is to reconsider if you really want them in your family. If you already dread coming home from work, that is not a good sign. Older kids from foster care have most often been abused in every way and do not know how to form attachments to others (nor do they want to learn how). Have you looked into Attachment Disorder? I'd be very surprised if ADHD is all that's going on with those two. Were they exposed to drugs or alcohol in utero? Sorry to come across as negative. I have been a member of an adoptive parent group for many years and have heard very few good stories when families adopt older children from foster care. In general, they are damaged way before we get them. Love does not conquer all. Good luck, whatever you decide to do :) Welcome to the board. [/QUOTE]
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