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adopted 10 yr old twins with ADHD--PLease help!
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<blockquote data-quote="karmadestiny" data-source="post: 417060" data-attributes="member: 11499"><p>Hi, J...seems to like the attention he gets from behaving the way he does and defying adults to show his in control and not threatend by them...this could all be because of the problems they may have faced being in foster care situations or maybe just angry for being put in care in the first place...My adopted son is also now 10 and has been diagnossed with ADHD and Aspergers Syndrome, his now showing very defiant behaviour, though he wasn't in foster care for too long...We adopted him when he was only 4 months...even at that age he used to scratch at my face if he wasn't happy for any reason and it shocked me that a child so small could be so aggressive, i used to have scratches all over my face...Like yourselves I have tried everything from diets to reward charts to anything else that was worth doing but nothing seems to work and sometimes his rage scares the hell out of me, and his a big boy who has alot of strength, his aggression can sometimes become physical...I love him to bits but his behaviour has become unbearable at times...he seems to be drifting away from us...At mainstream school he is on the SEN register and recieves alittle help with his reading and maths, at home like yourselves it is a struggle to get him to do his homework...I am scared of what the future holds for him and want to be able to help him find his way...The interest of most children with ADHD etc is more practical based, they like working with their hands rather than being academic...Try and find out his interests and work with them, whether its a sports activity or making something with his hands, so that he can learn to be more confident and learn to value himself and his abilities...and I think if you can bring yourself to learn to hug him and make him feel wanted and give him that comfort of knowing that he matters maybe slowly things will start to change...but you must decide to either commit to this child or be sensible and know your limitations and let them go..maybe they will find someone who will be able to deal with their problems, and give both boys a family together...It wouldn't be fair to split them up it may do more damage than good...J, just seems more sensitive to the energies around him than his brother and his finding it very difficult to know what to do about them, internally his very scared and very angry...he just needs to learn what tools to use and how to accept his past and work towards a better future for himself and his brother...All the best!...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="karmadestiny, post: 417060, member: 11499"] Hi, J...seems to like the attention he gets from behaving the way he does and defying adults to show his in control and not threatend by them...this could all be because of the problems they may have faced being in foster care situations or maybe just angry for being put in care in the first place...My adopted son is also now 10 and has been diagnossed with ADHD and Aspergers Syndrome, his now showing very defiant behaviour, though he wasn't in foster care for too long...We adopted him when he was only 4 months...even at that age he used to scratch at my face if he wasn't happy for any reason and it shocked me that a child so small could be so aggressive, i used to have scratches all over my face...Like yourselves I have tried everything from diets to reward charts to anything else that was worth doing but nothing seems to work and sometimes his rage scares the hell out of me, and his a big boy who has alot of strength, his aggression can sometimes become physical...I love him to bits but his behaviour has become unbearable at times...he seems to be drifting away from us...At mainstream school he is on the SEN register and recieves alittle help with his reading and maths, at home like yourselves it is a struggle to get him to do his homework...I am scared of what the future holds for him and want to be able to help him find his way...The interest of most children with ADHD etc is more practical based, they like working with their hands rather than being academic...Try and find out his interests and work with them, whether its a sports activity or making something with his hands, so that he can learn to be more confident and learn to value himself and his abilities...and I think if you can bring yourself to learn to hug him and make him feel wanted and give him that comfort of knowing that he matters maybe slowly things will start to change...but you must decide to either commit to this child or be sensible and know your limitations and let them go..maybe they will find someone who will be able to deal with their problems, and give both boys a family together...It wouldn't be fair to split them up it may do more damage than good...J, just seems more sensitive to the energies around him than his brother and his finding it very difficult to know what to do about them, internally his very scared and very angry...he just needs to learn what tools to use and how to accept his past and work towards a better future for himself and his brother...All the best!... [/QUOTE]
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