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Substance Abuse
Adopted kids with addictions --what about their birthparents?
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 508143" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>I Kept BiPolar (BP) histories secret from my adopted children when they were young. Although, I did educate my easy child/difficult child that he was born an alcoholic and should never drink from the time he was in JH to no avail. When they were teens and they were going wrong I told them a more as qa last ditch effort to pull them back from the edge...it made no difference. They had to do it their own way. easy child/difficult child almost lost everything he valued in life due to his drinking before he got sober. He started drinking in HS by stealing liquor from friends while at parties and from us till we got wise and locked it up, and then paying someone to get it for him. In college he was drunk alot but managed to graduate with honors. He continued drinking and was up to 12beers/day when he became delusional and subsequently was sent to a Phop and then to rehab. difficult child#2 got started at age 16 on pot then used crack and ecxtacy and boose. He is still a train wreck and currently has several felony thefts and two assaults on his record. He came from a very damaged birth family but we got him at age 3 months. No amount of therapy, medications or nurturing helped him. They both had private schools, private tutors, all manner of interventions, camps, a church up-bringing and lots of family dinners and functions. As my daugher, easy child#1 says, "Mom did everything right and they still used". It stinks... this death of dreams, beliefs and idealogy that I was forced to suffer. I went from believing "love conquers all" to "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" as a result of my experience with my two adoptees. For me I often feel all I have to show for my efforts is that I gave them a safe and happy childhood. somehow I have to make that enough for the years I put in and the sacrifices of career and health I made. Yes easy child/difficult child has gotten HIMSELF together to a certain degree but it is still early in his recovery and he still is somewhat in denial. As for difficult child#2? I fear he never will live a good life. But honestly, I do not think having the information about their BPs any earlier would have made a difference.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 508143, member: 2315"] I Kept BiPolar (BP) histories secret from my adopted children when they were young. Although, I did educate my easy child/difficult child that he was born an alcoholic and should never drink from the time he was in JH to no avail. When they were teens and they were going wrong I told them a more as qa last ditch effort to pull them back from the edge...it made no difference. They had to do it their own way. easy child/difficult child almost lost everything he valued in life due to his drinking before he got sober. He started drinking in HS by stealing liquor from friends while at parties and from us till we got wise and locked it up, and then paying someone to get it for him. In college he was drunk alot but managed to graduate with honors. He continued drinking and was up to 12beers/day when he became delusional and subsequently was sent to a Phop and then to rehab. difficult child#2 got started at age 16 on pot then used crack and ecxtacy and boose. He is still a train wreck and currently has several felony thefts and two assaults on his record. He came from a very damaged birth family but we got him at age 3 months. No amount of therapy, medications or nurturing helped him. They both had private schools, private tutors, all manner of interventions, camps, a church up-bringing and lots of family dinners and functions. As my daugher, easy child#1 says, "Mom did everything right and they still used". It stinks... this death of dreams, beliefs and idealogy that I was forced to suffer. I went from believing "love conquers all" to "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" as a result of my experience with my two adoptees. For me I often feel all I have to show for my efforts is that I gave them a safe and happy childhood. somehow I have to make that enough for the years I put in and the sacrifices of career and health I made. Yes easy child/difficult child has gotten HIMSELF together to a certain degree but it is still early in his recovery and he still is somewhat in denial. As for difficult child#2? I fear he never will live a good life. But honestly, I do not think having the information about their BPs any earlier would have made a difference. [/QUOTE]
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Adopted kids with addictions --what about their birthparents?
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