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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 396981"><p>I am glad you started this thread. It occurred to me that there are quite a few adoptive parents on this site but not everyone might have read the other thread. I too found it really helpful to hear the experiences of the adoptees who shared. Once again thank you! One book I read that was also helpful was called "20 things adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew". My PD daughter looked at the back cover and said yes yes and yes. I know my sons therapist here at home thought a lot of his issues were related to his adoption. He was encouraging him to search. We too have always been open about it, and let him know we were totally supportive of him contacting his birth mother. It would be a very easy search because the adoption is semi open and he can get the info pretty easily. She has also written to him several times so I know she would be open to seeing him.</p><p></p><p>It is interesting to me how different kids are. When he was little he asked us lots of questions about adoption which we always answered.... then at some point he kind of shut down about it at least around us. Of course he wasn't sharing anything with us at that point. My daughter asked few questions when she was young, but became more open about it as a teen. </p><p></p><p>Anyway i know it is an issue for him... but as you say it is his journey and we can be there to support him but we can't do this for him. </p><p></p><p>It is interesting to me that when you look at statistics the number of adopted kids in therapeutic schools and settings is huge compared to the rate of adoption in the US. When my son was at a therapeutic school I noticed that almost all the kids were dealing with some issues of loss (along with other issues)... so maybe it was a parents illness, divorce, or it was adoption.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 396981"] I am glad you started this thread. It occurred to me that there are quite a few adoptive parents on this site but not everyone might have read the other thread. I too found it really helpful to hear the experiences of the adoptees who shared. Once again thank you! One book I read that was also helpful was called "20 things adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew". My PD daughter looked at the back cover and said yes yes and yes. I know my sons therapist here at home thought a lot of his issues were related to his adoption. He was encouraging him to search. We too have always been open about it, and let him know we were totally supportive of him contacting his birth mother. It would be a very easy search because the adoption is semi open and he can get the info pretty easily. She has also written to him several times so I know she would be open to seeing him. It is interesting to me how different kids are. When he was little he asked us lots of questions about adoption which we always answered.... then at some point he kind of shut down about it at least around us. Of course he wasn't sharing anything with us at that point. My daughter asked few questions when she was young, but became more open about it as a teen. Anyway i know it is an issue for him... but as you say it is his journey and we can be there to support him but we can't do this for him. It is interesting to me that when you look at statistics the number of adopted kids in therapeutic schools and settings is huge compared to the rate of adoption in the US. When my son was at a therapeutic school I noticed that almost all the kids were dealing with some issues of loss (along with other issues)... so maybe it was a parents illness, divorce, or it was adoption. [/QUOTE]
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