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adoption gone wrong
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 487827" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>In so many situations, in different ways, people face heartbreak. Whatever you do, someone is going to have their heart broken. Of course caring for life means providing practical care as well as inflammatory slogans. Some people do, quietly. I have no time for the ideologies and the people who stand on the sidelines, on whatever "side", accusing and judging. I am not in favour of abortion. But I understand why women feel they have no other option. I understand how it arises. I understand that choice is actually often a pretty meaningless concept in these situations. </p><p>And in this situation... the prospective adoptive parents are naturally heartbroken. If I am honest, a part of me feels that it is a good thing for a baby to stay with its natural mother, even despite that heartbreak, which just involves me in the whole crazy conundrum of it all. I have adopted a child who was abandoned by his birth mother - abandoned because their society would have made her an outcast if she had kept him. In manyways it would have been best for him to stay with his natural mother, equipped with all the biological bonding mechanisms. But this is not the world as it is. I know sometimes it is better for a child to be adopted out and there is a real sadness to that. The sadness of life, really. </p><p>I do feel all this deeply, as many of you do. I have no idealogy about these things so much as just a feeling of the heart that I cannot adequately convey... the preciousness of life, the sacredness of the bond between mother and child, the sadness that so often circumstances make it impossible for that to be nurtured and honoured. Not because people are bad or wicked or anything other than what we all are - human. </p><p>If my son's birth mother had come wanting him back shortly after I adopted him, what would I have done? For me that would have been a real dilemma. If it happened now, I think it would be clearly in his best interests to stay with me and it would not be such an agonising thing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 487827, member: 11227"] In so many situations, in different ways, people face heartbreak. Whatever you do, someone is going to have their heart broken. Of course caring for life means providing practical care as well as inflammatory slogans. Some people do, quietly. I have no time for the ideologies and the people who stand on the sidelines, on whatever "side", accusing and judging. I am not in favour of abortion. But I understand why women feel they have no other option. I understand how it arises. I understand that choice is actually often a pretty meaningless concept in these situations. And in this situation... the prospective adoptive parents are naturally heartbroken. If I am honest, a part of me feels that it is a good thing for a baby to stay with its natural mother, even despite that heartbreak, which just involves me in the whole crazy conundrum of it all. I have adopted a child who was abandoned by his birth mother - abandoned because their society would have made her an outcast if she had kept him. In manyways it would have been best for him to stay with his natural mother, equipped with all the biological bonding mechanisms. But this is not the world as it is. I know sometimes it is better for a child to be adopted out and there is a real sadness to that. The sadness of life, really. I do feel all this deeply, as many of you do. I have no idealogy about these things so much as just a feeling of the heart that I cannot adequately convey... the preciousness of life, the sacredness of the bond between mother and child, the sadness that so often circumstances make it impossible for that to be nurtured and honoured. Not because people are bad or wicked or anything other than what we all are - human. If my son's birth mother had come wanting him back shortly after I adopted him, what would I have done? For me that would have been a real dilemma. If it happened now, I think it would be clearly in his best interests to stay with me and it would not be such an agonising thing. [/QUOTE]
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