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Adoptive difficult child Lost Job and is Moving in with Bio Mom and wad kicked
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 611422" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Genetics is HUGE. In my adoptive parent group, many of the kids have struggled and searched. Almost to a person, each parent reports that the adopted child is more like his biological parents then like them and none of them knew their biological parents. Some say the kids even walk and talk like them and say things in the same way. It's spooky. </p><p></p><p>This does not mean that our parenting has NO affect on the person. It's just that their inherent personality tends to be more like their biological parents who are mostly difficult children. Often, in the end, our children end up doing much better than their biological parents, in spite of having similar personalities, because we loved them and gave them stability, but they are also often going to take a longer path to get there. </p><p></p><p>People forgive parents for atrocities all the time. I know a woman whose father beat her and her siblings bloody and sexually abused her yet when he developed brain cancer the whole clan practically fought one another to take care of this horrible man. She drove a school bus and I was her aide so we spent hours, after driving t he bus back after our route, just talking and pouring our hearts out and she spared no details of what this sperm donor had done to her...yet she had to go home because of grief when she first found out he was ill and after that she only spoke of how much she loved him. WHATEVER!!!!! She is hardly alone though. We want to think the people who created us as people are caring and loving, even when all evidence points to the opposite.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry for your hurting mommy heart :/</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 611422, member: 1550"] Genetics is HUGE. In my adoptive parent group, many of the kids have struggled and searched. Almost to a person, each parent reports that the adopted child is more like his biological parents then like them and none of them knew their biological parents. Some say the kids even walk and talk like them and say things in the same way. It's spooky. This does not mean that our parenting has NO affect on the person. It's just that their inherent personality tends to be more like their biological parents who are mostly difficult children. Often, in the end, our children end up doing much better than their biological parents, in spite of having similar personalities, because we loved them and gave them stability, but they are also often going to take a longer path to get there. People forgive parents for atrocities all the time. I know a woman whose father beat her and her siblings bloody and sexually abused her yet when he developed brain cancer the whole clan practically fought one another to take care of this horrible man. She drove a school bus and I was her aide so we spent hours, after driving t he bus back after our route, just talking and pouring our hearts out and she spared no details of what this sperm donor had done to her...yet she had to go home because of grief when she first found out he was ill and after that she only spoke of how much she loved him. WHATEVER!!!!! She is hardly alone though. We want to think the people who created us as people are caring and loving, even when all evidence points to the opposite. I am sorry for your hurting mommy heart :/ [/QUOTE]
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Adoptive difficult child Lost Job and is Moving in with Bio Mom and wad kicked
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