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Adult son back in jail for the nth time
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<blockquote data-quote="detachingmother" data-source="post: 679669" data-attributes="member: 20063"><p>Pigless, You're story resonates with me as I have indicated in the message I sent you.</p><p></p><p>Just gives me chills....and only YOU are like sons girlfriend, and he is like your ex-h. So hard for me to rationalize, but I cannot be in denial, and I have to face the truth.</p><p></p><p>Breaks my heart what you had gone through. I am doing everything I can to make it clear to GFs parents and authorities understand this, but it just doesn't work.</p><p></p><p>When I watch documentaries, like the one the other day, with Klebolds (one of the columbine killers) mom on, and the reporters ask, "Didn't you know anything was wrong??" - "didn't you try to get your son help when you saw what he was writing in his diary?" These questions make me so upset, WHY?? BC EVEN when we try to Do something NO ONE LISTENS!!!!</p><p></p><p>I can outright tell GFs parents, "LOOK, I am afraid my son has the potential to HURT your daughter in an ever lasting kind of way, the possibility IS there!!" They say back, "oh, well we are very religious, we think if he finds GOD, then all will be OK!!" I just shake my head, what in the world is wrong with these people. I am not a COLD mother, I fear for everyone involved with him when he goes into delusions and paranoia.</p><p></p><p>I am beginning to think some things truly are inevitable. Some things may just be pre-determined and there isn't a dang thing anyone can do about it.</p><p></p><p>My son killed a cat, thinking it had a microphone in it!!....I have said this, he was in jail for it, I didn't make it up....but nope, sometimes people just think I am the crazy one--I am referring to his GFs family now, but I have to remember he's filled their heads with his own version, and it's a doozy of a version, about how he had such a bad upbringing.</p><p></p><p>He's also sprayed girlfriend in the eyes with WD-40 during a fit over his truck not starting one day, and who knows what else. Her parents KNOW this. I think her dad semi gets it now, he took out a Stalking PPO against him, but then he takes her down to visit him in jail and gets her phone time, and she sends letters non-stop. Astounding to me. I have a daughter too, and I would lock her up and probably hurt a young man who hurt her....so sad and conflicting to feel this way about one's own son.</p><p></p><p>There's a lot of dysfunction and "labels" in my family, and it's very hard to deal with. So much so, that I went to a well known Uni and earned my degree in Clinical psychiatric---highest honors (that might be too much info--I do not work in the field, as I actually do not agree with most of what I've learned), but I still can't fix anything. So I do know quite a bit about certain things, I have in the past worked in the field, but couldn't stand it, so used degree in a different way until my job became obsolete. anyway, digress again. Yah, the old cliche' that people who study psychology, have alot of psychology problems in their own lives. True in my case. The only psychology I like now, is positive motivational theories and concentrations...</p><p></p><p>I am truly at a point, where people will do what they want. This is where I've been for more than a few years. No one can stop them from being a detriment to society--OUR SYSTEM FAILS US EVERY DAY. This is probably how I've always felt, which is why I find most psychiatric talk to be almost a waste UNLESS the person actually wants help. There are many many people who want the help but lack the desire to actually follow through. I don't know what else I can do to "protect" him from himself, or girlfriend. I pray nothing like that happens, but it's in the back of my mind more than just a little bit.</p><p></p><p>I love my son, with all my heart, I know he loves me too, but this may be too much for him to handle. It is too much for me to handle. I am not helpful to him. And he surely doenst' seem to get it.</p><p></p><p>Guess I am a little angry today...this is how I feel--I think I got some of it out here...<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> .</p><p></p><p>Sorry, I am new and already ranting...<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="detachingmother, post: 679669, member: 20063"] Pigless, You're story resonates with me as I have indicated in the message I sent you. Just gives me chills....and only YOU are like sons girlfriend, and he is like your ex-h. So hard for me to rationalize, but I cannot be in denial, and I have to face the truth. Breaks my heart what you had gone through. I am doing everything I can to make it clear to GFs parents and authorities understand this, but it just doesn't work. When I watch documentaries, like the one the other day, with Klebolds (one of the columbine killers) mom on, and the reporters ask, "Didn't you know anything was wrong??" - "didn't you try to get your son help when you saw what he was writing in his diary?" These questions make me so upset, WHY?? BC EVEN when we try to Do something NO ONE LISTENS!!!! I can outright tell GFs parents, "LOOK, I am afraid my son has the potential to HURT your daughter in an ever lasting kind of way, the possibility IS there!!" They say back, "oh, well we are very religious, we think if he finds GOD, then all will be OK!!" I just shake my head, what in the world is wrong with these people. I am not a COLD mother, I fear for everyone involved with him when he goes into delusions and paranoia. I am beginning to think some things truly are inevitable. Some things may just be pre-determined and there isn't a dang thing anyone can do about it. My son killed a cat, thinking it had a microphone in it!!....I have said this, he was in jail for it, I didn't make it up....but nope, sometimes people just think I am the crazy one--I am referring to his GFs family now, but I have to remember he's filled their heads with his own version, and it's a doozy of a version, about how he had such a bad upbringing. He's also sprayed girlfriend in the eyes with WD-40 during a fit over his truck not starting one day, and who knows what else. Her parents KNOW this. I think her dad semi gets it now, he took out a Stalking PPO against him, but then he takes her down to visit him in jail and gets her phone time, and she sends letters non-stop. Astounding to me. I have a daughter too, and I would lock her up and probably hurt a young man who hurt her....so sad and conflicting to feel this way about one's own son. There's a lot of dysfunction and "labels" in my family, and it's very hard to deal with. So much so, that I went to a well known Uni and earned my degree in Clinical psychiatric---highest honors (that might be too much info--I do not work in the field, as I actually do not agree with most of what I've learned), but I still can't fix anything. So I do know quite a bit about certain things, I have in the past worked in the field, but couldn't stand it, so used degree in a different way until my job became obsolete. anyway, digress again. Yah, the old cliche' that people who study psychology, have alot of psychology problems in their own lives. True in my case. The only psychology I like now, is positive motivational theories and concentrations... I am truly at a point, where people will do what they want. This is where I've been for more than a few years. No one can stop them from being a detriment to society--OUR SYSTEM FAILS US EVERY DAY. This is probably how I've always felt, which is why I find most psychiatric talk to be almost a waste UNLESS the person actually wants help. There are many many people who want the help but lack the desire to actually follow through. I don't know what else I can do to "protect" him from himself, or girlfriend. I pray nothing like that happens, but it's in the back of my mind more than just a little bit. I love my son, with all my heart, I know he loves me too, but this may be too much for him to handle. It is too much for me to handle. I am not helpful to him. And he surely doenst' seem to get it. Guess I am a little angry today...this is how I feel--I think I got some of it out here...:( . Sorry, I am new and already ranting...:( [/QUOTE]
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Adult son back in jail for the nth time
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