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Adult son back in jail for the nth time
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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 679689" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>My daughter has Borderline (BPD). I found out recently mental illness runs on her bio-dad's side. A grandparent committed suicide and, looking back, I think bio-dad suffers from Borderline (BPD) as well. Funny thing is, he disappeared from her life at a young age. She was a tough teen but succeeded and did well in school. She re-connected with bio-dad after graduation, fell in the wrong crowd, became drug addicted, almost succeeded in a suicide attempt that caused a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)...and now is full blown Borderline (BPD).</p><p></p><p>She can also be delusional when on meth. We didn't know she was using until it was too late. She can be verbally abusive and has physically attacked boyfriends. She is the most danger to herself.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, she accepts her diagnosis as far as what it GETS her - medical insurance, disability payments, food stamps...welfare. However, she refuses to accept it as far as how much help she needs - she thinks she is fine now and refuses treatment. That was our boundary: get treatment for the Borderline (BPD) and drug use or you cannot come home. Needless to say, she doesn't live here.</p><p></p><p>And as far as mental health treatment, nowhere would take her unless she went voluntarily (which she wouldn't) and even with suicide attempts, only keep her 5 days. We found a few places that would take her 3-6 months but they were faith-based, work based, or both...and she had to voluntarily check herself in. </p><p></p><p>It is so sad to see what they need that they aren't mentally capable of seeing or accepting and having nowhere to turn. There is no good system in place for mental health. </p><p></p><p>As hard as it is to accept, jail may be the best place for him to be if he refuses treatment - it keeps him from harming himself, his girlfriend, the baby or anyone else. For the guilt...there is none. Maybe I should have seen the Borderline (BPD) in my ex, maybe I should have known more about his family, maybe I should have recognized deeper problems in her than rebellion...but we don't look at our children under a microscope, looking for what is "wrong." We see the beauty and perfection of our babies and can become blind to their faults for a long time. And even if I had known? While I hate where she is and the path she is on, I had many beautiful years and fond memories with her...and I have no reason to think it isn't possible to have that with her again. It is just that the responsibility is on her for that to happen.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 679689, member: 19905"] My daughter has Borderline (BPD). I found out recently mental illness runs on her bio-dad's side. A grandparent committed suicide and, looking back, I think bio-dad suffers from Borderline (BPD) as well. Funny thing is, he disappeared from her life at a young age. She was a tough teen but succeeded and did well in school. She re-connected with bio-dad after graduation, fell in the wrong crowd, became drug addicted, almost succeeded in a suicide attempt that caused a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)...and now is full blown Borderline (BPD). She can also be delusional when on meth. We didn't know she was using until it was too late. She can be verbally abusive and has physically attacked boyfriends. She is the most danger to herself. Unfortunately, she accepts her diagnosis as far as what it GETS her - medical insurance, disability payments, food stamps...welfare. However, she refuses to accept it as far as how much help she needs - she thinks she is fine now and refuses treatment. That was our boundary: get treatment for the Borderline (BPD) and drug use or you cannot come home. Needless to say, she doesn't live here. And as far as mental health treatment, nowhere would take her unless she went voluntarily (which she wouldn't) and even with suicide attempts, only keep her 5 days. We found a few places that would take her 3-6 months but they were faith-based, work based, or both...and she had to voluntarily check herself in. It is so sad to see what they need that they aren't mentally capable of seeing or accepting and having nowhere to turn. There is no good system in place for mental health. As hard as it is to accept, jail may be the best place for him to be if he refuses treatment - it keeps him from harming himself, his girlfriend, the baby or anyone else. For the guilt...there is none. Maybe I should have seen the Borderline (BPD) in my ex, maybe I should have known more about his family, maybe I should have recognized deeper problems in her than rebellion...but we don't look at our children under a microscope, looking for what is "wrong." We see the beauty and perfection of our babies and can become blind to their faults for a long time. And even if I had known? While I hate where she is and the path she is on, I had many beautiful years and fond memories with her...and I have no reason to think it isn't possible to have that with her again. It is just that the responsibility is on her for that to happen. [/QUOTE]
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Adult son back in jail for the nth time
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