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Adult son back in jail for the nth time
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<blockquote data-quote="detachingmother" data-source="post: 679701" data-attributes="member: 20063"><p>I hear you Pigless, I told Gfs family bc I know it would be hard to live with myself if something happens. The girlfriend is having her own problems with mental health, and is in therapy every Monday. I think she is getting stronger and I do see positive growth, now it's been about two months. I commend her for that, and talk to her every day. Not fun, but I bite my tongue and give it my best effort. She cannot take her medications right now, not that she usually does anyway, and she's more childish and immature than usual. She takes Buspar (?) and it does help her. </p><p></p><p>I suppose the reason I have been so vocal is if something happens I think it will lessen the aftermath for how accountable I will feel, regardless. That will be inevitable, I will always think there's something more I could have done. </p><p></p><p>Walrus, I am sorry to hear your daughter is not well either. It sounds like you have your hands full too at times. I wish I could find a faith based place to take him. I've tried everywhere I could think of...yep, same here, most places only take his for up to 5 days. </p><p></p><p>Jmom, thank you so much for your kind prayer. I do feel like God's loving hand is on my shoulder most of the time. I've been upset the past week more so than usual. Call it "mother's intuition" since I feel like something very bad is going to happen.</p><p></p><p>Pigless, I think I read about you being at a Bagel shop and just started crying your eyes out while waiting in line....that's been happening to me a lot. Everywhere. Almost happened on a job interview yesterday. Luckily it didn't. I was offered the job.</p><p></p><p>A very positive thing happened tonight--- I had a call back from an old friend who happens to be a psychotherapist, who is going to get in touch with the psychiatrist at the jail tomorrow. Just by God's good will, he happens to know him and is on phone calling terms with him. This is the same friend who has helped a few times in the past in between trying many other options. Now hopefully he will get his medications. I have no idea if he will actually take them or try to sell them, which brings me to Iron Butterfly's response.</p><p></p><p>Iron Butterfly, I know I should not be funding his account. One this I buckle. I feel in my heart of hearts he is suicidal. I need to talk to him about every three or four days, and I go up to five days with out padding call account. Also, just for basic half way decent nutrition, I feel like he needs some money in account. I know where he is, there is only cornflakes for breakfast and nasty juice-watery koolaid type stuff. </p><p></p><p>At dinner it's always four pieces of bread and either one piece of salami or one piece of bologna cut in half--and maybe a piece of barely edible fruit and a small piece of cake as hard as a brick. Sounds crazy, but this didn't come from him, it came from someone I know who works there. Its downright nasty. They do get a warm lunch, but again, awful. No condiments, utterly disgusting from what I gather from a worker there. A place called Aramark handles the food....I wouldn't feed it to my dog.</p><p></p><p>With that said, he is very limited on what I will give. At first there were more phone calls just because I had to figure out what was going on and why was he there. He's been having a drought and has been out of everything for about 5 days now. I am very upset with him bc he took his coffee and traded it for a phone call to harrass his girlfriend, accused her of cheating. So basically, he been going without, until and if he can learn to do what's right.</p><p></p><p>So, yes, I know it's bad, but on a certain level, I just want him to remember he is human, not some monster. When he abuses this privilege he will go without for awhile. I might be rationalizing, but he should have some dignity and things that will help him keep some dignity.</p><p></p><p>Jail is where he needs to be, since right now there are no other options. I am not so sure about how safe he is though. I am not so much worried about someone hurting him, but young men have committed suicide in there...and I worry he will try that and succeed. </p><p></p><p>Thank you all for helping me through this, just that the friend will call the psychiatrist tomorrow will help me sleep easier tonight-- and all of the help I have been given here...<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/grouphug.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":grouphug:" title="grouphug :grouphug:" data-shortname=":grouphug:" /> I am actually floored at how forthcoming you all have been in helping me. Thank you so much.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="detachingmother, post: 679701, member: 20063"] I hear you Pigless, I told Gfs family bc I know it would be hard to live with myself if something happens. The girlfriend is having her own problems with mental health, and is in therapy every Monday. I think she is getting stronger and I do see positive growth, now it's been about two months. I commend her for that, and talk to her every day. Not fun, but I bite my tongue and give it my best effort. She cannot take her medications right now, not that she usually does anyway, and she's more childish and immature than usual. She takes Buspar (?) and it does help her. I suppose the reason I have been so vocal is if something happens I think it will lessen the aftermath for how accountable I will feel, regardless. That will be inevitable, I will always think there's something more I could have done. Walrus, I am sorry to hear your daughter is not well either. It sounds like you have your hands full too at times. I wish I could find a faith based place to take him. I've tried everywhere I could think of...yep, same here, most places only take his for up to 5 days. Jmom, thank you so much for your kind prayer. I do feel like God's loving hand is on my shoulder most of the time. I've been upset the past week more so than usual. Call it "mother's intuition" since I feel like something very bad is going to happen. Pigless, I think I read about you being at a Bagel shop and just started crying your eyes out while waiting in line....that's been happening to me a lot. Everywhere. Almost happened on a job interview yesterday. Luckily it didn't. I was offered the job. A very positive thing happened tonight--- I had a call back from an old friend who happens to be a psychotherapist, who is going to get in touch with the psychiatrist at the jail tomorrow. Just by God's good will, he happens to know him and is on phone calling terms with him. This is the same friend who has helped a few times in the past in between trying many other options. Now hopefully he will get his medications. I have no idea if he will actually take them or try to sell them, which brings me to Iron Butterfly's response. Iron Butterfly, I know I should not be funding his account. One this I buckle. I feel in my heart of hearts he is suicidal. I need to talk to him about every three or four days, and I go up to five days with out padding call account. Also, just for basic half way decent nutrition, I feel like he needs some money in account. I know where he is, there is only cornflakes for breakfast and nasty juice-watery koolaid type stuff. At dinner it's always four pieces of bread and either one piece of salami or one piece of bologna cut in half--and maybe a piece of barely edible fruit and a small piece of cake as hard as a brick. Sounds crazy, but this didn't come from him, it came from someone I know who works there. Its downright nasty. They do get a warm lunch, but again, awful. No condiments, utterly disgusting from what I gather from a worker there. A place called Aramark handles the food....I wouldn't feed it to my dog. With that said, he is very limited on what I will give. At first there were more phone calls just because I had to figure out what was going on and why was he there. He's been having a drought and has been out of everything for about 5 days now. I am very upset with him bc he took his coffee and traded it for a phone call to harrass his girlfriend, accused her of cheating. So basically, he been going without, until and if he can learn to do what's right. So, yes, I know it's bad, but on a certain level, I just want him to remember he is human, not some monster. When he abuses this privilege he will go without for awhile. I might be rationalizing, but he should have some dignity and things that will help him keep some dignity. Jail is where he needs to be, since right now there are no other options. I am not so sure about how safe he is though. I am not so much worried about someone hurting him, but young men have committed suicide in there...and I worry he will try that and succeed. Thank you all for helping me through this, just that the friend will call the psychiatrist tomorrow will help me sleep easier tonight-- and all of the help I have been given here...:grouphug: I am actually floored at how forthcoming you all have been in helping me. Thank you so much. [/QUOTE]
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Adult son back in jail for the nth time
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