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Adult son back in jail for the nth time
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<blockquote data-quote="detachingmother" data-source="post: 680198" data-attributes="member: 20063"><p>I've been a hot mess over this.</p><p>After I let him clean my bank account out, I was worried sick about how I would pay for his funeral...would I have to have him cremated, would I have to just have a "wake" or a small get together, because he's ruined my credit, spent all my money, etc. I mean I am not totally broke, as I am always capable of making ends meet, but..bc credit is bad, and I have no savings, I've even thought "OMG, what will I do, have to ask my man to pay for it...I mean it's sick. I am sometimes sick in the head over it.</p><p></p><p>I have found myself worried sick about him dying then angry because now I can't pay for a funeral if he does pass away.</p><p></p><p>What a mess. This one just floors me. I feel grossed out at my own thoughts of being angry about this...I almost feel selfish, well I do feel selfish for having these thoughts. Like what is wrong with me for being more mad at him about having to pay for a funeral. On some level, I feel he will never be at peace, and I cannot live the latter half of my life making everyone around me wonder if I am ok. I don't know....</p><p></p><p>This one absolutely almost paralyzes me.</p><p></p><p>I get it. But can;t get over it.</p><p></p><p>Also I agree on the letters, I am just too mad at him right now. I will end up chastising and patronizing. Not going to help right now. Either of us. He knows I love him and will be here to a certain extent when he gets out. I know he loves me. and that's all we have at the moment.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="detachingmother, post: 680198, member: 20063"] I've been a hot mess over this. After I let him clean my bank account out, I was worried sick about how I would pay for his funeral...would I have to have him cremated, would I have to just have a "wake" or a small get together, because he's ruined my credit, spent all my money, etc. I mean I am not totally broke, as I am always capable of making ends meet, but..bc credit is bad, and I have no savings, I've even thought "OMG, what will I do, have to ask my man to pay for it...I mean it's sick. I am sometimes sick in the head over it. I have found myself worried sick about him dying then angry because now I can't pay for a funeral if he does pass away. What a mess. This one just floors me. I feel grossed out at my own thoughts of being angry about this...I almost feel selfish, well I do feel selfish for having these thoughts. Like what is wrong with me for being more mad at him about having to pay for a funeral. On some level, I feel he will never be at peace, and I cannot live the latter half of my life making everyone around me wonder if I am ok. I don't know.... This one absolutely almost paralyzes me. I get it. But can;t get over it. Also I agree on the letters, I am just too mad at him right now. I will end up chastising and patronizing. Not going to help right now. Either of us. He knows I love him and will be here to a certain extent when he gets out. I know he loves me. and that's all we have at the moment. [/QUOTE]
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Adult son back in jail for the nth time
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