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Adult son back in jail for the nth time
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<blockquote data-quote="detachingmother" data-source="post: 681580" data-attributes="member: 20063"><p>Thank God, No. She's never been a substance abuser. According to what her parents said, she's diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and a severe anxiety disorder. Supposed to be in therapy, was for 8 weeks, doing OK, then quit and immediately went back to her usual ways.</p><p></p><p>Not good either way. There's a lot more to it here. For starters, she, her father, and the mother all said the baby wasn't even my Son's. I am secretly praying that's the case, that it's not Son's as much as I know it will hurt him. Son's father is petitioning for a paternity test on Son's behalf for right after baby is born. I am unsure too, since she "cheated" on him two weeks before she showed up saying she was pregnant. Even so, Son said he wants to be the "father/provider". So, I guess I just wait and see, not much else I can do now. </p><p></p><p>The day before Son got arrested, he went out and bought nice things for the baby, clothes, a cute pink baby bouncy seat that played music, and a baby bath....for unknown reasons, right after they, her family members, were calling him a Piece of S%#t, telling him baby wasn't his...set him off on a bad coping way. They were telling him he "sucked" at what he does for a living, which is more than any of them could accomplish and he's very good at it, his house wasn't good enough, his truck wasn't good enough...really emotionally hurtful things. She's just seemingly stringing him along, bc she knows he will do whatever she wants. Sad, but he will definitely have to realize this (or not) on his own. I told him I wouldn't bring it up again, until he did first.</p><p></p><p>I actually pray he leaves her, and that crazy family, and that the baby's not his. He just doesn't feel good enough, and keeps right on trying despite what they say and think of him. Right before he was arrested, he had just finished paying over $20000 of all his obligation on his own, with money he earned himself in a year, still got his own place and handled all his own business. The other two idiots he was with paid zero, he fixed it alone without anyone's help. He was almost free and clear. I am still angry and sad for him. The trouble from before was for stupid petty stuff, felonious non-the-less (stole motorcycles from neighbor--he paid back twice what they were worth), from his 21st birthday ignorant celebration that got carried away. Ignorant. He paid for his crime. But now this...ugh...I digress. digress. digress. Gotta be careful here so I do not forget the drug use and total history of mental health in my own unhealthy quest to rationalize. So close, but now so far away.</p><p></p><p>He may even end up in prison for boot camp for 18 months, as when he gets out of inpatient he has to go face felony probation violation. I don't think he will but it's up to the Judge and his p/o. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p></p><p>Gfs mother is immature, thankfully no drug use there either...I think the worst case scenario there is they will do the opposite of how I think a daughter should be raised...dependent on others with poor coping skills, unable to function on her own, and learning to fight and hurt others to get others to do what she wants. Guess it could be worse. What I think doesn't matter to any of them, I realize this...rationally it's a non-starter.</p><p></p><p>Not my choice, either way. I am kind of back to where I was when I started writing in this forum....the big questions...to stay and be "all in" or go and be "all out", with regard to being in the baby's life (if it's his). The middle option is to be there like I am normally, from a distance, doing only what I can comfortably do...probably the likely solution...doesn't make it hurt any less.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for the hugs SWOT. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p>I know I am rambling...makes me crazy and feel unstable sometimes...the rationalizing, the digressing, the ranting, the sense of unease constantly, etc.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="detachingmother, post: 681580, member: 20063"] Thank God, No. She's never been a substance abuser. According to what her parents said, she's diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and a severe anxiety disorder. Supposed to be in therapy, was for 8 weeks, doing OK, then quit and immediately went back to her usual ways. Not good either way. There's a lot more to it here. For starters, she, her father, and the mother all said the baby wasn't even my Son's. I am secretly praying that's the case, that it's not Son's as much as I know it will hurt him. Son's father is petitioning for a paternity test on Son's behalf for right after baby is born. I am unsure too, since she "cheated" on him two weeks before she showed up saying she was pregnant. Even so, Son said he wants to be the "father/provider". So, I guess I just wait and see, not much else I can do now. The day before Son got arrested, he went out and bought nice things for the baby, clothes, a cute pink baby bouncy seat that played music, and a baby bath....for unknown reasons, right after they, her family members, were calling him a Piece of S%#t, telling him baby wasn't his...set him off on a bad coping way. They were telling him he "sucked" at what he does for a living, which is more than any of them could accomplish and he's very good at it, his house wasn't good enough, his truck wasn't good enough...really emotionally hurtful things. She's just seemingly stringing him along, bc she knows he will do whatever she wants. Sad, but he will definitely have to realize this (or not) on his own. I told him I wouldn't bring it up again, until he did first. I actually pray he leaves her, and that crazy family, and that the baby's not his. He just doesn't feel good enough, and keeps right on trying despite what they say and think of him. Right before he was arrested, he had just finished paying over $20000 of all his obligation on his own, with money he earned himself in a year, still got his own place and handled all his own business. The other two idiots he was with paid zero, he fixed it alone without anyone's help. He was almost free and clear. I am still angry and sad for him. The trouble from before was for stupid petty stuff, felonious non-the-less (stole motorcycles from neighbor--he paid back twice what they were worth), from his 21st birthday ignorant celebration that got carried away. Ignorant. He paid for his crime. But now this...ugh...I digress. digress. digress. Gotta be careful here so I do not forget the drug use and total history of mental health in my own unhealthy quest to rationalize. So close, but now so far away. He may even end up in prison for boot camp for 18 months, as when he gets out of inpatient he has to go face felony probation violation. I don't think he will but it's up to the Judge and his p/o. :( Gfs mother is immature, thankfully no drug use there either...I think the worst case scenario there is they will do the opposite of how I think a daughter should be raised...dependent on others with poor coping skills, unable to function on her own, and learning to fight and hurt others to get others to do what she wants. Guess it could be worse. What I think doesn't matter to any of them, I realize this...rationally it's a non-starter. Not my choice, either way. I am kind of back to where I was when I started writing in this forum....the big questions...to stay and be "all in" or go and be "all out", with regard to being in the baby's life (if it's his). The middle option is to be there like I am normally, from a distance, doing only what I can comfortably do...probably the likely solution...doesn't make it hurt any less. Thanks for the hugs SWOT. :) I know I am rambling...makes me crazy and feel unstable sometimes...the rationalizing, the digressing, the ranting, the sense of unease constantly, etc. [/QUOTE]
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Adult son back in jail for the nth time
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