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Adults - but still children in our minds ?
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 76724" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>Stands With Courage, each of us comes to terms with the horrible things that have happened to us and to our children in her own way. I was so much like you are now when I came to the site that it isn't even funny. Slowly but surely though, I was able to gain the perspective I needed to begin saying the words I had been taught to say, here.</p><p></p><p>And all at once, my difficult child was walking on uncertain ground.</p><p></p><p>Once that happened, I could see that he was playing me like some well-worn violin.</p><p></p><p>He knew exactly what to say, which notes to strike, to elicit the response he wanted.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting.</p><p></p><p>I just kept posting, too.</p><p></p><p>Little by little, you will learn how to see differently.</p><p></p><p>For your son's own sake, he needs to stand up and take responsibility for himself. </p><p></p><p>He is lost and afraid right now, too.</p><p></p><p>There is a mom who used to post here who lost a son shortly after she made him leave home. She had another son. He became addicted, too. Do you know what she did? Made him leave home, too. This mom got it that her son was never going to get better living with her. She understood that, even though she had lost a son, she could not protect the one she had left by keeping him home. Drug use is a hard, nasty thing. We need to be hard as flint to combat it. We (parents) are not going to be able to do it FOR our kids. They are going to have to stand, or fall, on their own.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting.</p><p></p><p>The thing that needs to change here is your perspective.</p><p></p><p>That takes time.</p><p></p><p>You can do this.</p><p></p><p>I did.</p><p></p><p>Eventually. :smile: </p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 76724, member: 1721"] Stands With Courage, each of us comes to terms with the horrible things that have happened to us and to our children in her own way. I was so much like you are now when I came to the site that it isn't even funny. Slowly but surely though, I was able to gain the perspective I needed to begin saying the words I had been taught to say, here. And all at once, my difficult child was walking on uncertain ground. Once that happened, I could see that he was playing me like some well-worn violin. He knew exactly what to say, which notes to strike, to elicit the response he wanted. Keep posting. I just kept posting, too. Little by little, you will learn how to see differently. For your son's own sake, he needs to stand up and take responsibility for himself. He is lost and afraid right now, too. There is a mom who used to post here who lost a son shortly after she made him leave home. She had another son. He became addicted, too. Do you know what she did? Made him leave home, too. This mom got it that her son was never going to get better living with her. She understood that, even though she had lost a son, she could not protect the one she had left by keeping him home. Drug use is a hard, nasty thing. We need to be hard as flint to combat it. We (parents) are not going to be able to do it FOR our kids. They are going to have to stand, or fall, on their own. Keep posting. The thing that needs to change here is your perspective. That takes time. You can do this. I did. Eventually. [img]:smile:[/img] Barbara [/QUOTE]
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Adults - but still children in our minds ?
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