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After a week or two of not so calm & forced reflection .....
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 364600" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry that this decision was forced upon you by your health and by those impatient team members who have no clue exactly what mountains you have already moved (time and time again) for your children.</p><p></p><p>The decision is not "bad" for you or the tweedles. It will force them to learn to use other resources as they learn and grow. This will make them more able to handle the world. It will give them some independence from you, which is the entire point of the teen years. In many ways you may be able to have a more "normal" relationship with them as you will only be handling a portion of their issues, more in line with the way parents of neurotypical children handle them. The tweedles will have others handling those things that in other circumstances they might be handling for themselves.</p><p></p><p>I HATE that the stress contributed so to the health problems you have, especially the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). The way you are handling everything is amazing. The last years have been so terribly hard and you have been through so many difficult things, but you have always worked to do the best you could for your kids. Even now you are doing that. Others may not understand, but you truly are doing so much for the tweedles, even in this new division of labor. </p><p></p><p>Your health concerns really MUST be your first concern. If you continue to place such stress on your body things will only get worse. There may or may not be a time in the future when you take a different role. There are plenty of people on the tweedles' teams to take over what you cannot do. It really will be OK for the tweedles.</p><p></p><p>Even with your handicaps you still do more for your kids than a number of parents of difficult children that I know. Be gentle with yourself and don't let ANYONE give you a hard time over this. Why would you have chosen to be wm's guardian when he is over 18? It hasn't been safe for him to be with you 1:1 for years. Given the health issues it is only logical that someone else have that final responsibility over his adult life. It may finally let you have a relationship where you can enjoy time together 1:1.</p><p></p><p>Many hugs - this does NOT make you any less a mother to the tweedles.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 364600, member: 1233"] I am sorry that this decision was forced upon you by your health and by those impatient team members who have no clue exactly what mountains you have already moved (time and time again) for your children. The decision is not "bad" for you or the tweedles. It will force them to learn to use other resources as they learn and grow. This will make them more able to handle the world. It will give them some independence from you, which is the entire point of the teen years. In many ways you may be able to have a more "normal" relationship with them as you will only be handling a portion of their issues, more in line with the way parents of neurotypical children handle them. The tweedles will have others handling those things that in other circumstances they might be handling for themselves. I HATE that the stress contributed so to the health problems you have, especially the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). The way you are handling everything is amazing. The last years have been so terribly hard and you have been through so many difficult things, but you have always worked to do the best you could for your kids. Even now you are doing that. Others may not understand, but you truly are doing so much for the tweedles, even in this new division of labor. Your health concerns really MUST be your first concern. If you continue to place such stress on your body things will only get worse. There may or may not be a time in the future when you take a different role. There are plenty of people on the tweedles' teams to take over what you cannot do. It really will be OK for the tweedles. Even with your handicaps you still do more for your kids than a number of parents of difficult children that I know. Be gentle with yourself and don't let ANYONE give you a hard time over this. Why would you have chosen to be wm's guardian when he is over 18? It hasn't been safe for him to be with you 1:1 for years. Given the health issues it is only logical that someone else have that final responsibility over his adult life. It may finally let you have a relationship where you can enjoy time together 1:1. Many hugs - this does NOT make you any less a mother to the tweedles. [/QUOTE]
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After a week or two of not so calm & forced reflection .....
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