Ahh, hate myself right now

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by GuideMe, Oct 28, 2014.

  1. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    This year has been a journey for me to quit smoking. I had my ups and downs. Did a full six months, then smoked for two, then stopped for two more, until today. I had four ciggs, and I am going to pay for it dearly tomorrow when I wake up and my mouth taste disgusting, can't breathe and my whole body will hurt. Ugh, why did I do this???
  2. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    I fell of the wagon last night with my diet, sigh. But, I'm optimistic about today.

    But...good for you that you are making headway toward quitting smoking. This is urgent for good health. Don't beat yourself up.
    Just work toward a good day, today. You can do this!!!!!
    Have you though About Chantix if need be?
    Again, congrats for doing this. So important!!
  3. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Stress............makes sticking with a new program difficult
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Don't beat yourself up, just try to get back at it today. I know that is easier said than done. Sending gentle hugs your way!
  5. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    Thanks everybody! You're right, today is a new day, and I am going to look at it that way!
  6. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    You can do it! Trust me that icky mouth thing reminds me every time that I do not want to start smoking again.
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  7. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    Thank you, so far , so good today!
  8. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    things went bad today, had two ciggs....so disappointed in myself right now.
  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Last time, you had four. This slip up was two. Keep that up... it's still progress.
  10. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Hugs! I'm just glad that I haven't quit yet. :( I'm smoking about twice my normal amount these days.

    InsaneCdn is right...two is better than four. If tomorrow is one, then the next will be zero.
  11. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    They often say relapse is part of recovery. The important thing is that you WANT to quit. It is the BEST thing you can do for yourself and those that love you. After you have quit for a while, you will wonder WHY you ever touched those things to begin with. You can do this!!
  12. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Hating yourself is not helpful, when it comes to relapses. It's better to accept it and try to learn from it.

    You want to quit smoking, you did and now you have a relapse. Best thing to do, is analyze what chain of events led to relapse. You probably had an urge to smoke due stress? What did you do then? How did you try to fight the urge? Have you earlier have better success fighting the urge with other methods? What else could you do, when you will have an urge next time? Where did you get the cigs? Did you have them or did you have to buy? How could you stop the chain of events that led to smoking? At which point did you recognize things were leading to that direction in the first place? Could you learn to recognize the chain earlier and stop it then, when it is still easier and you are not yet having a cig on your hand and about to light it?

    If you want to go really hard core on yourself, write answers to all those (and other things relevant in analysing your relapse) to paper for yourself. Do it every time you end up lighting a cig. at least you will end up with enough data to learn a lot of your self and what makes you choose unhealthy options. Very possible you will end up deciding that lighting that cig is not worth the task of writing about it, that waits for you, if you light it. Forget that nonsense of hating yourself, but do accept that making stupid choices (like lighting that cig after you have already decided that enough is enough) come with price to pay.

    With all your faults (whatever they may be) you are still a lovely human being and certainly worth more than poisoning yourself with cigs.
  13. Bertmery

    Bertmery Member

    just, repeat the first step, don't push yourself too hard, i know you can handle this. sending you prayers.
  14. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    Thanks Bert, but unfortantely, I have started up smoking completely now....sorry guys......
  15. Bertmery

    Bertmery Member

    aw, that's sad :(

    please take care of yourself :(
  16. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    You will quit when you are ready. It's not the worst habit possible. Don't be so hard on yourself... it only makes it harder to change ;) Hugs
  17. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Darn! Well, the good news is that you can always quit later. Maybe right now, with all the stress, it is not the right time to do it. Wait few months so that some issues you have with your daughter will be handled and try again, when you are less stressed.

    My husband just picked up the cigs after over three years without because of the stress. He did promise to get back on track when things get easier again and I do plan to nag him into that, when time comes. But in desperate times you at times just need to get to the next day, and unhealthy coping mechanisms are coping mechanisms too (says SuZ with a stiff gin tonic already at hand and it isn't even dinner time yet.)
  18. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    Thank you so much Suzir, I really needed this. I do plan to quit again soon and get back on track