all at once

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Liahona, Jan 18, 2007.

  1. Liahona

    Liahona Active Member

    Everything seems to happen all at once and I'm not processing the changes very well. This week I got a lot of info on autism, sensory issues, difficult child 2. I'm trying to sort it out and incorpate it into our daily routine. (Our daily routine doesn't happen very often thanks to melt downs and doctor appointments and visitations.) I'm trying to chart difficult child 1's moods and energy levels. Trying to do the language with difficult child 2. Fighting with husband about money (again!) and ex is showing signs of aggression. I've gotten 3 emails in 3 days from him. That is the first sign that we're headed back to court. First he gets chatty, then ugly, then its back to court.

    I'm feeling like I just want to hide under the covers. I might be getting depressed again. Plus, I'm having panic attacks. I'm trying to exercise, but that happens as often as our daily routine does.
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wow-when it rains it pours doesn't it? It's hard to find time alone to destress but it's so important. I've missed three days of workouts right now and can really tell-it just helps me deal better when I've exercised. You need to find some time for yourself-even something like a nice hot bubble bath.

    If you are getting depressed be sure to see someone for help. been there done that. Sending many gentle hugs to you.
  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    Carve some time in the day for yourself. There are days my only "alone" time is in the shower. It's my private place to rant, cry & appreciate the absurd.

    Don't let outside sources of stress ruin you.

    Get help if the panic attacks & depression are getting out of control. Talk - therapist, friend, pastor. Someone who will listen with-o judgement.

    Take a step back & look at the big picture. What is your highest priority? It's you. If you don't take care of you, you will be useless for anyone else.

    Be gentle with yourself. :smile:
  4. Janna

    Janna New Member


    I know your feelings of being overwhelmed with all life is putting on your plate.

    I remember one time right after my divorce, a good friend told me something. I was single, had an ex husband that was a drug abuser/alcoholic. I had a 10 year old running away from home/stealing/lying, a 5 year old ramming his head through windows and raging hours per day, and a 3 year old that was having open heart surgery. I also worked, did early intervention therapy/preschool for the younger boys, and had just put difficult child 2 (who was the 10 year old) into a 90 day diagnostic center.

    And she said to me, "God gave you this because he knows you can handle it".

    And I laughed and told her she was insane.

    We do what we do because we have to. We may not want to. But, these are our children. This is our life. And we keep on day to day, hanging in there, because we all hope at the end of the tunnel, there is that light.

    I like the advice given by Linda and Sharon. You time is important. I know - hard to come by. Put the kids to bed early. So what if they're in bed at 7:30 PM. I've done it :biggrin: Take a hot bath. Read a book. Take care of you.

  5. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    I agree with Wiped Out. Please get help if you think you're getting depressed!!! If you haven't already read it, read Starb's latest post. You need to take care of yourself.

    I know it seems almost impossible when it seems like you're whole world is falling apart, but taking care of yourself is the most important thing you can do for you and your family!!! Hang in there. Wishing you peace... WFEN
  6. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    You need to start prioritizing right away. This is so that you can begin pacing yourself. Life with difficult children is a marathon a not a sprint.
    What I did was rightwrite down everything that needed to happen, should happen and I'd like to happen over the course of a day, week & month. Then I made a rough schedule which made me feel more in control of my life. Another thing to do is re-visit The Explosive Child and begin reapplying the basket approach with the kids. Absolutely get the kids to bed earlier every night so you and husband can make time to talk and nurture your relationship. Seek out a marriage counselor, family therapist or individual help if you need it.