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Allow cigarettes for teen?
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<blockquote data-quote="Zardo" data-source="post: 496743" data-attributes="member: 12490"><p>Everyone's feedback is so relevant. MrSlammer - I <u>so</u> agree with your perspective. I have heard this before from treatment professionals. They often suggest to hold a hard line on everything and if there are problems, send him to TBS. At Wilderness programs, they are big proponents of TBS and they did suggest we look to that solution if his current school does not work out. on the other hand, I sometimes think how easy that is for them to reccommend as they are not sending their kid there nor faced with the prospect of paying for it (upwards of $80K by the way that we, or probably anyone, cannot afford). I have read so many accounts of situations where really the only "cure" was time and maturity. If he were in the same place he was 2 years ago, contstant use, anger, defiance and holes in the wall, that would be on the table and we would find a way to pay as he was not at a point where he could function in our home. But, it does seem more that he is finding his way to a better life, it's just not as fast or "all in" as we would like it to be. The reality is I have to decide if this issue is important enough for me to let it be the one that potentially ends the ability for him to finish up this year at the school that he is at that has been working with him. He is not threatening relapse. It's more that he cannot stay at this school if I don't consent but he smokes anyway, which, yes that's defiance, but he is coming to us saying "I'm not going to be able to do this". So, it would bring him back to our home and alternative school. He would continue support, but he would be in a VERY unstructurred setting. In our town, alternative is only until 12 and the work they give is not the same. It would make it hard for him to every return to regular school. Once this year is complete, he can go back to the mainstream high school (assuming that he continues to make progress). So, for now, we're going to try to meet him 1/2 way with the e-cig. As parents, we have to at least try to have success with this first. If it doesn't work, we will be at that crossroads again where we will have to decide how hard to hold the line. You are all so right, we are faced with these undesireable choices......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Zardo, post: 496743, member: 12490"] Everyone's feedback is so relevant. MrSlammer - I [U]so[/U] agree with your perspective. I have heard this before from treatment professionals. They often suggest to hold a hard line on everything and if there are problems, send him to TBS. At Wilderness programs, they are big proponents of TBS and they did suggest we look to that solution if his current school does not work out. on the other hand, I sometimes think how easy that is for them to reccommend as they are not sending their kid there nor faced with the prospect of paying for it (upwards of $80K by the way that we, or probably anyone, cannot afford). I have read so many accounts of situations where really the only "cure" was time and maturity. If he were in the same place he was 2 years ago, contstant use, anger, defiance and holes in the wall, that would be on the table and we would find a way to pay as he was not at a point where he could function in our home. But, it does seem more that he is finding his way to a better life, it's just not as fast or "all in" as we would like it to be. The reality is I have to decide if this issue is important enough for me to let it be the one that potentially ends the ability for him to finish up this year at the school that he is at that has been working with him. He is not threatening relapse. It's more that he cannot stay at this school if I don't consent but he smokes anyway, which, yes that's defiance, but he is coming to us saying "I'm not going to be able to do this". So, it would bring him back to our home and alternative school. He would continue support, but he would be in a VERY unstructurred setting. In our town, alternative is only until 12 and the work they give is not the same. It would make it hard for him to every return to regular school. Once this year is complete, he can go back to the mainstream high school (assuming that he continues to make progress). So, for now, we're going to try to meet him 1/2 way with the e-cig. As parents, we have to at least try to have success with this first. If it doesn't work, we will be at that crossroads again where we will have to decide how hard to hold the line. You are all so right, we are faced with these undesireable choices...... [/QUOTE]
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