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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 282785" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there.</p><p>You are on a site where most of the parents are dealing with younger kids.</p><p></p><p>in my opinion this is not ODD--this is drug abuse. You may not want to hear this, but your son (like my daughter) is likely doing a heck of a lot more than pot, although pot is usually what they will own up to. There are many drugs that don't show up in the screenings. His behavior is over-the-top for just pot use. He is probably drinking and, if he isn't eating much, maybe doing meth or cocaine. At his age, it will be hard to help him unless he wants help.</p><p></p><p>You may want to post on "Teens and Substance Abuse" because you know for sure he is smoking weed. Drugs are at least part of the issue. When kids change drastically for the worse, getting foul and violent and having car accidents, you really need to explore the possibility of serious drug use or too much drinking. Is his father, or is anyone on either side of his biological tree, a substance abuser? If so, it's even more possible because the inability to handle experimentation is inherited. My daughter was adopted--it would not shock me to learn that her birthmother or birthfather abused drugs. Once she started, she escalated quickly, according to her (she is now clean). We had no idea how involved in drugs she was, but we knew she had changed for the worse very quickly.</p><p></p><p>If you aren't sure, I'd go to a Narc-Anon meeting and talk to those who have been there. You can get a lot of help from them. My daughter is an ex-drug abuser and has pretty much told me how it goes with those who use, starting with "it's only pot. Sometimes." If he won't change or get treatment, indeed, at 18 I'd make him leave rather than endanger yourselves or your daughter.</p><p></p><p>I personally would not pay for an unmotivated, weed smoking kid who is disrespectful to go to college, where the temptation to get into trouble is great, especially if he'll be staying in a dorm. Make HIM work and pay for some or most of it. </p><p></p><p>You can not have him committed for ODD. He has to be an active danger to himself or somebody else and they will likely only keep him for a short time. That's the way it works--not ideal. At his age, he has to want to be helped or nobody can help him. My daughter never cared for therapy and did not cooperate with it--when she quit her drug use she did it on her own. When she changed it was because she was tired of herself and after we had asked her to leave.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you have to be here, but welcome to the board.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 282785, member: 1550"] Hi there. You are on a site where most of the parents are dealing with younger kids. in my opinion this is not ODD--this is drug abuse. You may not want to hear this, but your son (like my daughter) is likely doing a heck of a lot more than pot, although pot is usually what they will own up to. There are many drugs that don't show up in the screenings. His behavior is over-the-top for just pot use. He is probably drinking and, if he isn't eating much, maybe doing meth or cocaine. At his age, it will be hard to help him unless he wants help. You may want to post on "Teens and Substance Abuse" because you know for sure he is smoking weed. Drugs are at least part of the issue. When kids change drastically for the worse, getting foul and violent and having car accidents, you really need to explore the possibility of serious drug use or too much drinking. Is his father, or is anyone on either side of his biological tree, a substance abuser? If so, it's even more possible because the inability to handle experimentation is inherited. My daughter was adopted--it would not shock me to learn that her birthmother or birthfather abused drugs. Once she started, she escalated quickly, according to her (she is now clean). We had no idea how involved in drugs she was, but we knew she had changed for the worse very quickly. If you aren't sure, I'd go to a Narc-Anon meeting and talk to those who have been there. You can get a lot of help from them. My daughter is an ex-drug abuser and has pretty much told me how it goes with those who use, starting with "it's only pot. Sometimes." If he won't change or get treatment, indeed, at 18 I'd make him leave rather than endanger yourselves or your daughter. I personally would not pay for an unmotivated, weed smoking kid who is disrespectful to go to college, where the temptation to get into trouble is great, especially if he'll be staying in a dorm. Make HIM work and pay for some or most of it. You can not have him committed for ODD. He has to be an active danger to himself or somebody else and they will likely only keep him for a short time. That's the way it works--not ideal. At his age, he has to want to be helped or nobody can help him. My daughter never cared for therapy and did not cooperate with it--when she quit her drug use she did it on her own. When she changed it was because she was tired of herself and after we had asked her to leave. I'm sorry you have to be here, but welcome to the board. [/QUOTE]
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