Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Am I going overboard?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="OpenWindow" data-source="post: 28285" data-attributes="member: 45"><p>I'm on the side of not disciplining at home for stuff that happens at school. If I did punish him at home, he'd be constantly grounded with nothing positive. </p><p></p><p>My difficult child doesn't really respond to punishment anyway. It usually causes a meltdown and I'm not sure it changes his behavior. I do reward him at home if he has an exceptionally good day at school and I get a good email. Video games are set up as a reward for all behaviors - so I don't take them away for a bad day, but he gets extra time if he was exceptionally good at school. He usually has to do homework first, but if I got a great email, he gets a half hour before homework.</p><p></p><p>It doesn't mean the school and I don't work together. If he does something wrong at school, the teacher will usually have him email me during the day and tell me what happened, and I usually respond to his email. Sometimes, he's had to call me. Even though we usually don't punish at home, he still hates having to call me or having to email me. We usually talk about it again in the evening.</p><p></p><p>I wouldn't go back on the punishment you've already given him. But I would think about what it's accomplishing. If he's got nothing but negativity, then I'd try to set up a reward system so he's got some positive. I'm not saying that's the case with you but in our house, that's often the case. I find myself punishing him constantly and am always on his case, and he usually deserves it. Then I notice that he seems trapped in all the negativity and is just defensive and opposition all the time. I have to stop myself and try to reward him for small things so he has something to start from. He feels more in control of his behavior this way and most of the time responds to it.</p><p></p><p>Linda</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="OpenWindow, post: 28285, member: 45"] I'm on the side of not disciplining at home for stuff that happens at school. If I did punish him at home, he'd be constantly grounded with nothing positive. My difficult child doesn't really respond to punishment anyway. It usually causes a meltdown and I'm not sure it changes his behavior. I do reward him at home if he has an exceptionally good day at school and I get a good email. Video games are set up as a reward for all behaviors - so I don't take them away for a bad day, but he gets extra time if he was exceptionally good at school. He usually has to do homework first, but if I got a great email, he gets a half hour before homework. It doesn't mean the school and I don't work together. If he does something wrong at school, the teacher will usually have him email me during the day and tell me what happened, and I usually respond to his email. Sometimes, he's had to call me. Even though we usually don't punish at home, he still hates having to call me or having to email me. We usually talk about it again in the evening. I wouldn't go back on the punishment you've already given him. But I would think about what it's accomplishing. If he's got nothing but negativity, then I'd try to set up a reward system so he's got some positive. I'm not saying that's the case with you but in our house, that's often the case. I find myself punishing him constantly and am always on his case, and he usually deserves it. Then I notice that he seems trapped in all the negativity and is just defensive and opposition all the time. I have to stop myself and try to reward him for small things so he has something to start from. He feels more in control of his behavior this way and most of the time responds to it. Linda [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Am I going overboard?
Top