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Substance Abuse
Am I really strong enough?
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 565699" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>I love you all...</p><p></p><p>Well, I am feeling a bit calmer now. Especially after reading ALL of your supportive messages. So many good ideas for me to consider. Yes, the contract I think is a REALLY good idea. I will start work on that...kind of already have listed many of the "expectations" down on my notes in my phone. But, putting it into a contract and husband, myself, and young difficult child signing...hey, maybe even have daughter in law sign too...just show understands what is expected of young as well. </p><p></p><p>PO came by the house today...an hour late, sigh. She hooked up the monitoring equipment and answered a few of my questions, gave me directions to her office since I have to get young difficult child there within 24hrs of his release. </p><p>I think she said he is expected to go to AA twice a week. He is expected to report to her office twice a month. And, she will make "home visits" once a month. </p><p>I was just grateful she showed up in a normal vehicle today...not one marked "Adult Supervision" on the side. </p><p></p><p>Had a showing between 2 and 3 today. Another scheduled for tomorrow between 11am and 1pm. The folks who looked at the house today stayed for some time, YAY! Even saw them visiting in the front yard for awhile. We really do live in a lovely neighborhood and have an elementary school right around the block from our house. When you look out our upstairs windows across the way...you see a field of grazing cows...pasture land. It is fairly peaceful here on our corner lot...hoping it stays that one come Monday. </p><p></p><p>While the showing was going on, I went to McDonalds and had carmal coffee with whipped cream. It was delightful. I talked long distance to my favorite Aunt Paula in Oklahoma. My uncle is a recovering alcoholic and she has loads and loads of Al Anon wisdom to share with me. She is such a dear. </p><p></p><p>I am going to take this one hour at a time...and then one day at a time. </p><p>I told husband last night...I am scared. He understands...but sigh, he is reminds me that I asked for this. That I am the one that wanted to give our home to young difficult child when he got out of prison. husband and I are not made the same...at all. He is a VERY VERY driven soul. He works hard and plays hard. He has no time for "nonsense". He doesn't put up with the same amount of **** that I do. I told him last night that the way he talks to our son's sometimes really bothers me. He told me that he talks to them like his Peers...that he has for a long time now. Me...I talk to them like their feelings need to be carefully handled/considered. Anyway, Sig, you are right, I need to let husband and young difficult child develop their own relationship. I have probably made the mistake in the past of telling my children that husband is "not a caregiver"...sigh, that he is "lacking" something. </p><p></p><p>And you know what...as for the house, I realised this morning...that we don't HAVE to move. We can still pay the mortgage every month regardless of how long it takes to sell. I shouldn't sweat the "house part" out. As AG said, it will sell when it is supposed to. </p><p></p><p>Oh and guess what? A new friend I have made, invited husband and I to a Steakhouse tonight for a double date dinner. Afterward, she and I are headed to the Casino! Smile, I'm enjoying the sound of that!!!</p><p>I know I am bad...giggles, I am in a family of recovered this that or the other and I'm headed to the casino! Oh well...I'm on a limited budget...only take what husband gives me, nothing more. </p><p>This new friend has a son on my husband's highschool bowling team. She is a firecracker, such a hoot!!! And, she is a survivor, knows a ton about not enabling, and ALSO recommended the "Contract idea" a couple of weeks ago to me. </p><p></p><p>Deep breathes...I'll survive come what may. </p><p>I can't tell you all how much each of you means to me. I have read and reread your thoughts, suggestions, and ideas to me...Thank you for all the support. </p><p></p><p>Love you guys, </p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 565699, member: 3305"] I love you all... Well, I am feeling a bit calmer now. Especially after reading ALL of your supportive messages. So many good ideas for me to consider. Yes, the contract I think is a REALLY good idea. I will start work on that...kind of already have listed many of the "expectations" down on my notes in my phone. But, putting it into a contract and husband, myself, and young difficult child signing...hey, maybe even have daughter in law sign too...just show understands what is expected of young as well. PO came by the house today...an hour late, sigh. She hooked up the monitoring equipment and answered a few of my questions, gave me directions to her office since I have to get young difficult child there within 24hrs of his release. I think she said he is expected to go to AA twice a week. He is expected to report to her office twice a month. And, she will make "home visits" once a month. I was just grateful she showed up in a normal vehicle today...not one marked "Adult Supervision" on the side. Had a showing between 2 and 3 today. Another scheduled for tomorrow between 11am and 1pm. The folks who looked at the house today stayed for some time, YAY! Even saw them visiting in the front yard for awhile. We really do live in a lovely neighborhood and have an elementary school right around the block from our house. When you look out our upstairs windows across the way...you see a field of grazing cows...pasture land. It is fairly peaceful here on our corner lot...hoping it stays that one come Monday. While the showing was going on, I went to McDonalds and had carmal coffee with whipped cream. It was delightful. I talked long distance to my favorite Aunt Paula in Oklahoma. My uncle is a recovering alcoholic and she has loads and loads of Al Anon wisdom to share with me. She is such a dear. I am going to take this one hour at a time...and then one day at a time. I told husband last night...I am scared. He understands...but sigh, he is reminds me that I asked for this. That I am the one that wanted to give our home to young difficult child when he got out of prison. husband and I are not made the same...at all. He is a VERY VERY driven soul. He works hard and plays hard. He has no time for "nonsense". He doesn't put up with the same amount of **** that I do. I told him last night that the way he talks to our son's sometimes really bothers me. He told me that he talks to them like his Peers...that he has for a long time now. Me...I talk to them like their feelings need to be carefully handled/considered. Anyway, Sig, you are right, I need to let husband and young difficult child develop their own relationship. I have probably made the mistake in the past of telling my children that husband is "not a caregiver"...sigh, that he is "lacking" something. And you know what...as for the house, I realised this morning...that we don't HAVE to move. We can still pay the mortgage every month regardless of how long it takes to sell. I shouldn't sweat the "house part" out. As AG said, it will sell when it is supposed to. Oh and guess what? A new friend I have made, invited husband and I to a Steakhouse tonight for a double date dinner. Afterward, she and I are headed to the Casino! Smile, I'm enjoying the sound of that!!! I know I am bad...giggles, I am in a family of recovered this that or the other and I'm headed to the casino! Oh well...I'm on a limited budget...only take what husband gives me, nothing more. This new friend has a son on my husband's highschool bowling team. She is a firecracker, such a hoot!!! And, she is a survivor, knows a ton about not enabling, and ALSO recommended the "Contract idea" a couple of weeks ago to me. Deep breathes...I'll survive come what may. I can't tell you all how much each of you means to me. I have read and reread your thoughts, suggestions, and ideas to me...Thank you for all the support. Love you guys, LMS [/QUOTE]
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