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General Parenting
Amazing breakthrough, wanted to share the trick
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 332840" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>This is a pretty common system. I have had at least 5 therapists suggest it and some even set it up for us. Jessie loves this kind of thing. She would time herself and see how fast she could get the chore done right.</p><p></p><p>Wiz MIGHT cooperate for a day or two. Then he would steal a dry erase pen from a teacher, neighbor or even from me and take Jessie's points away and give himself hundreds of them. Even when this behavior was put on the board as negative points he did not stop. He also stole and broke whatever reward the other two got.</p><p></p><p>Each time we persisted for weeks or months (shortest time was 3 weeks, longest was 8 weeks) and never got any better behavior from him. Jessie and thank you would then start refusing to do chores because Wiz stole their points/prizes. It was an unmitigated disaster every time. Lots of tears, Wiz shouting, Jessie had panic attacks, and husband and I were just fed up.</p><p></p><p>Wiz also would get to the point that he expected a reward for every single thing. Use the potty? Drmand reward even though you have been potty trained for years. Wipe your tushie? Another reward demanded. Wash your hands? yet another reward.</p><p></p><p>He literally demanded rewards for everything from using the toilet to turning off his alarm to eating a meal. So for US, rewards were a fast road to Awful Town.</p><p></p><p>MANY families have very different results, and if this is working for you then AWESOME!! Finding that system, whatever it is, that your child can use to police his own behavior is a HUGE deal. It is just wonderful</p><p></p><p>I really hope that your child will continue to by motivated by this method. This post is also a good reminder that systems like this CAN work, even with difficult children.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 332840, member: 1233"] This is a pretty common system. I have had at least 5 therapists suggest it and some even set it up for us. Jessie loves this kind of thing. She would time herself and see how fast she could get the chore done right. Wiz MIGHT cooperate for a day or two. Then he would steal a dry erase pen from a teacher, neighbor or even from me and take Jessie's points away and give himself hundreds of them. Even when this behavior was put on the board as negative points he did not stop. He also stole and broke whatever reward the other two got. Each time we persisted for weeks or months (shortest time was 3 weeks, longest was 8 weeks) and never got any better behavior from him. Jessie and thank you would then start refusing to do chores because Wiz stole their points/prizes. It was an unmitigated disaster every time. Lots of tears, Wiz shouting, Jessie had panic attacks, and husband and I were just fed up. Wiz also would get to the point that he expected a reward for every single thing. Use the potty? Drmand reward even though you have been potty trained for years. Wipe your tushie? Another reward demanded. Wash your hands? yet another reward. He literally demanded rewards for everything from using the toilet to turning off his alarm to eating a meal. So for US, rewards were a fast road to Awful Town. MANY families have very different results, and if this is working for you then AWESOME!! Finding that system, whatever it is, that your child can use to police his own behavior is a HUGE deal. It is just wonderful I really hope that your child will continue to by motivated by this method. This post is also a good reminder that systems like this CAN work, even with difficult children. [/QUOTE]
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