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General Parenting
Amazing breakthrough, wanted to share the trick
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 332948" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Farmwife, </p><p></p><p>I think that if you have found a system and have had the strength, and consistancy to make it work in your home then you are to be congratulated. Looking back over the last 15 years with my own son I wish I could find something that would have worked this well. Truth be told? Whenever anyone has posted a success like yours I find myself wanting to believe that their child was not as emotionally defunct as mine, lived the tragic circumstances as mine and therefore could not have possibly been saved by something seemingly as easy as you have described. In my heart I know that it's a twinge of jealousy, a tad of what did she do that I did not, and in the end? Really? I'm just so proud of you and moreso so tremendously happy for your son, that words just don't come easy enough to describe how my brain thinks - "Wow he just may make it." (tear) "He just MAY get it." - And not have to struggle like my son is still doing. </p><p></p><p>I hope he continues to get it. I really do. I hope whatever you are doing, however long it has to continue in your home (because I really do know that it has not been easy, it's been very hard and long for you too) is something that can be shared with others that come along here and think - HEY I will try that. What have I got to loose? I will be consistent. I will find the will. </p><p></p><p>For me, us? Ah....we did try a similar approach and many, countless others. My story is so long if I wrote it I fear the title would publish under Science Fiction. When the chart went up? It was great for about 2-3 days. Then Dude took a screwdriver and carved the chart up, then pried it off the wall, leaving gaping holes and took it outside and burned it. He threw the markers in the woods. So I (being prepared) printed out the chore chart and taped a copy up and did this for three months every day. Each day he tore it down and threw it away, flushed it in the commode, tore it up in little pieces, folded it up and put it in my sandwich for lunch one day - it was ridiculous. The next chart I created he took outside and urinated on. This went on for nearly six months. I had the tenacity of a pit bulls jaws...I just didn't have the wherewithall to continue wasting trees. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> Then he was taken to the psychiatric hospital, got there, and did every single chore they asked him to do like magic. When they asked ME about a chore chart I sat and blinked like I was in a catatonic state. Not kidding. I think that was the 2nd time they put ME on AD's. </p><p></p><p>I hope you continue to post your progress, and your ideas. I think they are wonderful, enlightening, and worth a try to anyone struggling to find a new way for some civility in their home. I think your new motto should be never give up. It's obvious you wont, and I'm glad you're here and one of the family!!!!!! </p><p></p><p>Thanks for sharing.....hope you don't mind that I shared too....(didn't mean to scare you - I just really do have a humdinger of a 19 year old who was such a challenge) Was....who am I kidding! pft.....lol. </p><p></p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 332948, member: 4964"] Farmwife, I think that if you have found a system and have had the strength, and consistancy to make it work in your home then you are to be congratulated. Looking back over the last 15 years with my own son I wish I could find something that would have worked this well. Truth be told? Whenever anyone has posted a success like yours I find myself wanting to believe that their child was not as emotionally defunct as mine, lived the tragic circumstances as mine and therefore could not have possibly been saved by something seemingly as easy as you have described. In my heart I know that it's a twinge of jealousy, a tad of what did she do that I did not, and in the end? Really? I'm just so proud of you and moreso so tremendously happy for your son, that words just don't come easy enough to describe how my brain thinks - "Wow he just may make it." (tear) "He just MAY get it." - And not have to struggle like my son is still doing. I hope he continues to get it. I really do. I hope whatever you are doing, however long it has to continue in your home (because I really do know that it has not been easy, it's been very hard and long for you too) is something that can be shared with others that come along here and think - HEY I will try that. What have I got to loose? I will be consistent. I will find the will. For me, us? Ah....we did try a similar approach and many, countless others. My story is so long if I wrote it I fear the title would publish under Science Fiction. When the chart went up? It was great for about 2-3 days. Then Dude took a screwdriver and carved the chart up, then pried it off the wall, leaving gaping holes and took it outside and burned it. He threw the markers in the woods. So I (being prepared) printed out the chore chart and taped a copy up and did this for three months every day. Each day he tore it down and threw it away, flushed it in the commode, tore it up in little pieces, folded it up and put it in my sandwich for lunch one day - it was ridiculous. The next chart I created he took outside and urinated on. This went on for nearly six months. I had the tenacity of a pit bulls jaws...I just didn't have the wherewithall to continue wasting trees. :winking: Then he was taken to the psychiatric hospital, got there, and did every single chore they asked him to do like magic. When they asked ME about a chore chart I sat and blinked like I was in a catatonic state. Not kidding. I think that was the 2nd time they put ME on AD's. I hope you continue to post your progress, and your ideas. I think they are wonderful, enlightening, and worth a try to anyone struggling to find a new way for some civility in their home. I think your new motto should be never give up. It's obvious you wont, and I'm glad you're here and one of the family!!!!!! Thanks for sharing.....hope you don't mind that I shared too....(didn't mean to scare you - I just really do have a humdinger of a 19 year old who was such a challenge) Was....who am I kidding! pft.....lol. Hugs & Love Star [/QUOTE]
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Amazing breakthrough, wanted to share the trick
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