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Substance Abuse
An update on outpatient therapy . . . and more
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<blockquote data-quote="Mikey" data-source="post: 140436" data-attributes="member: 3579"><p>Ditto IKP. After two years of trying, I've found bribes don't work. They only gave me a false sense of security while McW was planning his next rampage.</p><p></p><p>Your house, your family. Do what you can, do what you think is right. I say that because I understand that there may be family dynamics that limit what you can do, but do what you can anyway. </p><p></p><p>Also, I think it's the other way around: He's (possibly) extorting concessions from you at home by staying in therapy. You can think of it as a bribe if you want, but it's only a bribe if you made the offer first to get what you want. Seems to me it's the other way around... </p><p></p><p>Regardless, though, it's JMHO that if you have to bribe your <strong>adult</strong> son to stay in therapy, there's not a very good chance it's going to work. I don't say that from personal experience, but I've spoken with the intake coordinators for at least four inpatient facilities in the last week, and they've all said the same thing: "<em>If McW doesn't come on his own accord, and decide to stay here for his own reasons, we don't want him because it won't work - and it will disrupt the program for the rest of the patients here.</em>" They said that because he's 18 and can walk at any time, but they said the same thing last year as well when he was just 17.</p><p></p><p>Instead of a "bribe", I'd think of it as an <strong>opportunity</strong>, a door you've opened for him and then offered to help him walk through. You might bribe him to get him <strong>to</strong> the door, and maybe get one foot <strong>through</strong> the door. But ultimately, at his age it's his choice to go through or not, regardless of how much (or how little) you "bribe" him.</p><p></p><p>Just my two pennies worth....</p><p></p><p>Mikey</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mikey, post: 140436, member: 3579"] Ditto IKP. After two years of trying, I've found bribes don't work. They only gave me a false sense of security while McW was planning his next rampage. Your house, your family. Do what you can, do what you think is right. I say that because I understand that there may be family dynamics that limit what you can do, but do what you can anyway. Also, I think it's the other way around: He's (possibly) extorting concessions from you at home by staying in therapy. You can think of it as a bribe if you want, but it's only a bribe if you made the offer first to get what you want. Seems to me it's the other way around... Regardless, though, it's JMHO that if you have to bribe your [B]adult[/B] son to stay in therapy, there's not a very good chance it's going to work. I don't say that from personal experience, but I've spoken with the intake coordinators for at least four inpatient facilities in the last week, and they've all said the same thing: "[I]If McW doesn't come on his own accord, and decide to stay here for his own reasons, we don't want him because it won't work - and it will disrupt the program for the rest of the patients here.[/I]" They said that because he's 18 and can walk at any time, but they said the same thing last year as well when he was just 17. Instead of a "bribe", I'd think of it as an [B]opportunity[/B], a door you've opened for him and then offered to help him walk through. You might bribe him to get him [B]to[/B] the door, and maybe get one foot [B]through[/B] the door. But ultimately, at his age it's his choice to go through or not, regardless of how much (or how little) you "bribe" him. Just my two pennies worth.... Mikey [/QUOTE]
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An update on outpatient therapy . . . and more
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