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<blockquote data-quote="greenrene" data-source="post: 607475" data-attributes="member: 9177"><p>Thank you all for the support - I know that if anyone understands, you guys do!</p><p></p><p>So far, so good - difficult child has been polite and helpful, which is a very refreshing change. She has always loved babies and small children (which, given her age, looks, and issues, is actually pretty scary), and she is absolutely doting on her new baby brother, wanting to hold him, changing diapers, etc.</p><p></p><p>She has been nice to my older two sons as well - easy child 1 used to be her second favorite target besides me, and she's been nice to him. </p><p></p><p>I'm not saying anything to my mother in law or husband unless I absolutely have to, and I'm glad that I kept my feelings to myself beforehand. They see everything I say through their "greenrene hates difficult child" lenses, no matter how valid a point I may have.</p><p></p><p>As to the school, at some point I'm going to have to step up and make them keep me more in the loop on things and be more involved in goings-on - I didn't know that she'd been put on Abilify until a couple of weeks ago, and it had been a couple of months since it was prescribed. husband and mother in law are running the show with the school, and I know that I've been painted in a bad light and thrown under the bus - husband in particular is in denial about any accountability he may have for his own issues with difficult child. He's painted a picture that he and difficult child get along just fine, that the main problem is that she and I don't get along, nevermind the fact that the vast majority of parenting responsibility for difficult child over the years has been unfairly placed on me while husband just pretty much did as he pleased. </p><p></p><p>I've been burned out for years, and it's been good to have the space to start to heal, both from my issues with difficult child and my issues from childhood, which kind of merge together in some ways. I have a huge amount of PTSD with difficult child, hence the freakout prior to her coming. Not to mention the postpartum hormone craziness. I'm feeling better these past couple of days.</p><p></p><p>She goes back to school on Sunday. She's coming to visit again next month, and will be visiting for Christmas break as well. This is all contrary to what the parent handbook for the school says, but for now I'm just letting go of what I can't control (trying to, anyway), being honest and forthright, and setting healthy boundaries with my meddlesome inlaws (it's a very enmeshed family).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="greenrene, post: 607475, member: 9177"] Thank you all for the support - I know that if anyone understands, you guys do! So far, so good - difficult child has been polite and helpful, which is a very refreshing change. She has always loved babies and small children (which, given her age, looks, and issues, is actually pretty scary), and she is absolutely doting on her new baby brother, wanting to hold him, changing diapers, etc. She has been nice to my older two sons as well - easy child 1 used to be her second favorite target besides me, and she's been nice to him. I'm not saying anything to my mother in law or husband unless I absolutely have to, and I'm glad that I kept my feelings to myself beforehand. They see everything I say through their "greenrene hates difficult child" lenses, no matter how valid a point I may have. As to the school, at some point I'm going to have to step up and make them keep me more in the loop on things and be more involved in goings-on - I didn't know that she'd been put on Abilify until a couple of weeks ago, and it had been a couple of months since it was prescribed. husband and mother in law are running the show with the school, and I know that I've been painted in a bad light and thrown under the bus - husband in particular is in denial about any accountability he may have for his own issues with difficult child. He's painted a picture that he and difficult child get along just fine, that the main problem is that she and I don't get along, nevermind the fact that the vast majority of parenting responsibility for difficult child over the years has been unfairly placed on me while husband just pretty much did as he pleased. I've been burned out for years, and it's been good to have the space to start to heal, both from my issues with difficult child and my issues from childhood, which kind of merge together in some ways. I have a huge amount of PTSD with difficult child, hence the freakout prior to her coming. Not to mention the postpartum hormone craziness. I'm feeling better these past couple of days. She goes back to school on Sunday. She's coming to visit again next month, and will be visiting for Christmas break as well. This is all contrary to what the parent handbook for the school says, but for now I'm just letting go of what I can't control (trying to, anyway), being honest and forthright, and setting healthy boundaries with my meddlesome inlaws (it's a very enmeshed family). [/QUOTE]
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