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And he's gone.....
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<blockquote data-quote="welcometowitsend" data-source="post: 522826" data-attributes="member: 14356"><p>Well, things went from bad to worse yesterday. I just joined this group recently and posted (under New here, could use some support/advice) that we had been having some problems with our DS. He has Tourette's and ADHD and has a few Aspie tendencies (Tourette's and Aspergers overlap somewhat). No medications or therapy has ever been needed. I walked him through social cues - what's acceptable, what's not, here's how you hide your tics (which seem to be in total remission), here are strategies to help you focus (he's very smart in school which helps). He was home schooled until grade 9 - entered school - no issued either academically or socially. Developed a good group of friends, good grades, teachers loved him. Now he's in grade 10 and is 16. He's changed his group of friends, I suspect he is doing drugs and he has gotten very verbally aggressive and intimidating towards me. His father had to restrain him from me last week and he got physically violent with his father. Then tried to have dad arrested for assault. He went to stay at his girlfriends for a few days. I was hoping he'd have a change of heart and agree to get into some individual and family therapy so we could work through things. Keep in mind at 12 he is legally allowed to make medical decisions for himself and at 16 he is legally allowed to leave home. Ridiculous laws.</p><p></p><p>No way.... He called on Saturday morning to advise us that he would be by at noon to get his things. He showed up demanding money, items like his dirt bike (not gonna happen), skis (he wants to sell everything) etc. He asked me for the baseball bat he threatened me with and when I told him I got rid of it he informed me I owed him $20. I'm just dumbfounded by his reasoning and thinking. He was belligerent with both his father and myself, swearing, telling us to get out of our own house, making odd demands. After 3 hours of this he finally had all his stuff packed and he left. His girlfriends father was only too happy to pick him up with all his belongings - I don't understand some parents - they think they're helping when they're not. He got his belongings, no money and I let him take the guitar because he is taking guitar in school and I don't want him to lose the credit. He did not get any of the big items like the skis or dirt bike. </p><p></p><p>Then he informs me that the guidance counsellor at school told him that it would be a great idea for him to move out and get his own apartment and go on student welfare. He told them we were abusive parents (child beaters). That child has never seen any kind of abuse. Have we made some mistakes, yes, but we've never been abusive parents. I'm so ticked at the school - where do they get off recommending that for him when they've never even spoken to us? They don't know he has Tourette's or ADHD with some Aspergers tendencies (we didn't want to give the school labels to put on him when he was doing so well with everything)- they don't know if he is using drugs or not. They know nothing and didn't even bother to call us to recommend or offer any counselling. They will be getting a visit from me when school gets back in on Tuesday. I doubt he will get student welfare anyway because they will have to verify that he is fleeing an abusive home. </p><p></p><p>So, I have been a mess, can't sleep, crying at the drop of a hat. I feel horrible for my daughter (13) who is such a great kid - everything seems to be revolving around difficult child right now. Husband has been a wonderful support. I just keep trying to put one foot in front of another and function. Breathe. My parents are coming home from their Florida place tonight and all I can think is that "I want my Mommy". </p><p></p><p>How do you not let this break you? How do you keep functioning? How do you get it out of your head for 30 seconds? I have been crying myself to sleep, waking up repeatedly through the night and before I even open my eyes in the morning - it's there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="welcometowitsend, post: 522826, member: 14356"] Well, things went from bad to worse yesterday. I just joined this group recently and posted (under New here, could use some support/advice) that we had been having some problems with our DS. He has Tourette's and ADHD and has a few Aspie tendencies (Tourette's and Aspergers overlap somewhat). No medications or therapy has ever been needed. I walked him through social cues - what's acceptable, what's not, here's how you hide your tics (which seem to be in total remission), here are strategies to help you focus (he's very smart in school which helps). He was home schooled until grade 9 - entered school - no issued either academically or socially. Developed a good group of friends, good grades, teachers loved him. Now he's in grade 10 and is 16. He's changed his group of friends, I suspect he is doing drugs and he has gotten very verbally aggressive and intimidating towards me. His father had to restrain him from me last week and he got physically violent with his father. Then tried to have dad arrested for assault. He went to stay at his girlfriends for a few days. I was hoping he'd have a change of heart and agree to get into some individual and family therapy so we could work through things. Keep in mind at 12 he is legally allowed to make medical decisions for himself and at 16 he is legally allowed to leave home. Ridiculous laws. No way.... He called on Saturday morning to advise us that he would be by at noon to get his things. He showed up demanding money, items like his dirt bike (not gonna happen), skis (he wants to sell everything) etc. He asked me for the baseball bat he threatened me with and when I told him I got rid of it he informed me I owed him $20. I'm just dumbfounded by his reasoning and thinking. He was belligerent with both his father and myself, swearing, telling us to get out of our own house, making odd demands. After 3 hours of this he finally had all his stuff packed and he left. His girlfriends father was only too happy to pick him up with all his belongings - I don't understand some parents - they think they're helping when they're not. He got his belongings, no money and I let him take the guitar because he is taking guitar in school and I don't want him to lose the credit. He did not get any of the big items like the skis or dirt bike. Then he informs me that the guidance counsellor at school told him that it would be a great idea for him to move out and get his own apartment and go on student welfare. He told them we were abusive parents (child beaters). That child has never seen any kind of abuse. Have we made some mistakes, yes, but we've never been abusive parents. I'm so ticked at the school - where do they get off recommending that for him when they've never even spoken to us? They don't know he has Tourette's or ADHD with some Aspergers tendencies (we didn't want to give the school labels to put on him when he was doing so well with everything)- they don't know if he is using drugs or not. They know nothing and didn't even bother to call us to recommend or offer any counselling. They will be getting a visit from me when school gets back in on Tuesday. I doubt he will get student welfare anyway because they will have to verify that he is fleeing an abusive home. So, I have been a mess, can't sleep, crying at the drop of a hat. I feel horrible for my daughter (13) who is such a great kid - everything seems to be revolving around difficult child right now. Husband has been a wonderful support. I just keep trying to put one foot in front of another and function. Breathe. My parents are coming home from their Florida place tonight and all I can think is that "I want my Mommy". How do you not let this break you? How do you keep functioning? How do you get it out of your head for 30 seconds? I have been crying myself to sleep, waking up repeatedly through the night and before I even open my eyes in the morning - it's there. [/QUOTE]
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