Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
...and it all falls apart.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 701116" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I doubt he used it for gas. Maybe I'm jaded after having a child who has antisocial traits for almost forty years, but I think your son lies to you as easily and often as he breathes and knows he can make you feel guilty for accusing you if not trusting him.</p><p></p><p>Why would you trust him? You shouldnt. You cant.</p><p></p><p>Yes, it is hard to say no. Today, while sitting in a train station on way back from visiting granddaughter, my day was ruined when my son called me to force me to give him an answer to a question I could not answer. "Will it look bad in court if I don't go to Cub Scouts to see son because I have PTSD seeing my ex and she will be thete? Will it hurt my case? And don't say I don't know. I need input and you're all I have and I'm getting sick."</p><p></p><p>I used to try to give him answers to unanswerable questions but if I said the wrong thing or admitted I don't know or just listened without comment I'd be called a f.....b (no it doesn't stand for facebook. ) He threatened to stop calling me if I stayed useless and didn't help. He threatened that today. He doesn't need my money, just to be his abused sounding board with advice that meets his expectations, so I know he thinks I am no longer needed. I'm too tired to do this anymore...</p><p></p><p>I finally said I had to go and that I can't control what HE DOES, but I can't handle this sort of abuse anymore. I told him that I love him and can call me anytime, but thay he must be respectful and that I dont want to talk about his case anymore.</p><p></p><p>That was a death knell for our relationship. He called me three times a day always only to <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> about his case...and lately has racheted up his abuse and hanging up. Why??????</p><p></p><p></p><p>I don't know if I'll hear from him again so I cried in the train station and now on the train..for the loss of a child I really can not have a relationship with; for the futility of it all and his disturbance and my broken heart. What a waste of a gallant attempt to try to give us a normal relationship with my beloved son. He abuses me, yet it hurts so much to know I may not hear from him again. Yet it's a relief too.</p><p></p><p>Lil don't be me.</p><p>I have done all possible to help my son. In the end. I enabled his horrible behavior and gave him no need to have friends or to learn not to abuse people. He even abused his sister... but I didn't know for sure and now I do. Sickens me...the bullying he is capable of. How can I still love him? He is a dark person who takes his misery out on others and will not own his own sins.</p><p></p><p>I guess I'm saying Lil you don't know if your son, who is much nicer than mine, will ever learn to live life if you don't back off the money. These difficult adult kids either have to take it on their own or they will depend on us and not fend for themselves or learn how and we get stuck too.</p><p></p><p>My own son is lost, but yours has a chance. Give him a chance to use his own resources...you don't want to be me.</p><p></p><p>I sure hope I didn't high jack your thread. This finale with my own son just happened...I am sorry.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 701116, member: 1550"] I doubt he used it for gas. Maybe I'm jaded after having a child who has antisocial traits for almost forty years, but I think your son lies to you as easily and often as he breathes and knows he can make you feel guilty for accusing you if not trusting him. Why would you trust him? You shouldnt. You cant. Yes, it is hard to say no. Today, while sitting in a train station on way back from visiting granddaughter, my day was ruined when my son called me to force me to give him an answer to a question I could not answer. "Will it look bad in court if I don't go to Cub Scouts to see son because I have PTSD seeing my ex and she will be thete? Will it hurt my case? And don't say I don't know. I need input and you're all I have and I'm getting sick." I used to try to give him answers to unanswerable questions but if I said the wrong thing or admitted I don't know or just listened without comment I'd be called a f.....b (no it doesn't stand for facebook. ) He threatened to stop calling me if I stayed useless and didn't help. He threatened that today. He doesn't need my money, just to be his abused sounding board with advice that meets his expectations, so I know he thinks I am no longer needed. I'm too tired to do this anymore... I finally said I had to go and that I can't control what HE DOES, but I can't handle this sort of abuse anymore. I told him that I love him and can call me anytime, but thay he must be respectful and that I dont want to talk about his case anymore. That was a death knell for our relationship. He called me three times a day always only to :censored2: about his case...and lately has racheted up his abuse and hanging up. Why?????? I don't know if I'll hear from him again so I cried in the train station and now on the train..for the loss of a child I really can not have a relationship with; for the futility of it all and his disturbance and my broken heart. What a waste of a gallant attempt to try to give us a normal relationship with my beloved son. He abuses me, yet it hurts so much to know I may not hear from him again. Yet it's a relief too. Lil don't be me. I have done all possible to help my son. In the end. I enabled his horrible behavior and gave him no need to have friends or to learn not to abuse people. He even abused his sister... but I didn't know for sure and now I do. Sickens me...the bullying he is capable of. How can I still love him? He is a dark person who takes his misery out on others and will not own his own sins. I guess I'm saying Lil you don't know if your son, who is much nicer than mine, will ever learn to live life if you don't back off the money. These difficult adult kids either have to take it on their own or they will depend on us and not fend for themselves or learn how and we get stuck too. My own son is lost, but yours has a chance. Give him a chance to use his own resources...you don't want to be me. I sure hope I didn't high jack your thread. This finale with my own son just happened...I am sorry. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
...and it all falls apart.
Top