Another Bench Warrant issued...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by bran155, Feb 9, 2009.

  1. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Thank you all so much for the support on my other thread. I so appreciate all of the good wishes. And you remembered that court was today!!!! :)

    Needless to say, she didn't show up. I haven't heard from her at all since she left my house on Thursday. I didn't really expect to though. I filed a missing persons report on Saturday, really just to cover myself as she isn't 18 just yet. The officer that I met with was very familiar with my family. He has been to my house on several occasions. That made it much easier as I didn't have to go into all of the details, he already knew them!!

    The first thing I did when I got to the courthouse today was go straight into the DAs's office and let them know that I was there and B wasn't. They already knew that as I called them on Friday but I wanted to make sure the judge knew I was there. I met briefly with her lawyer (another new one) and explained to her what happened. She said that they still have not ruled out Youth Court completely yet. But my daughter is now looking at a jail sentence. I explained to her that the TASK officer was going to recommend placement to the judge. She said that would be great if she would comply as they really don't have any locked facilities for adults. But I am not going to put too much stock into that because she is just a lawyer. The TASK officer would know more as that is her job. I am hoping to hear from her soon. If I don't get a call from her by Friday morining I will call her. In the meantime the judge issued another Bench Warrant for her arrest with $10,000 bail. I am hoping she gets picked up sooner rather than later. The longer she is out there on the streets the more damage she is doing to herself. I feel badly because she did go with her SW last week to the teen center for job placement as well as a school placement. She actually had a follow up appointment. tomorrow. So, she does want to do something with her life, she just has such trouble following rules. I wish she would just realize that she could do so much better with treatment. She wants a job and an education she just doesn't want to comply with treatment. Why can't she see that without treatment a job and an education just is not possible for her???? UUURRGGHH!!! Very frustrating.

    So, now I am back to worrying about her safety and what on earth she is doing out there. It is very scary to think about all of the possiblilities. I try not to let my mind wander. I try to think about other things. As soon as the sun sets and the night creeps in that's when I really start to panic!!! But I have to say, this time around it is a bit easier as I am getting so used to this. And I have come a long way with the detachment process. (thanks to all of you) I think I will be sad on her birthday. A week ago I wanted to throw a party for myself on her 18th but now that she is missing I know I will be sad!!! I'll get through it though. Shoot, that will pale in camparison to what I have already gotten through!!!

    Thank you once again my friends. I hope everyone is doing okay today.

    Shawna :)
  2. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Sending supportive hugs your way.
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    ((HUGS)) It sounds like you are resolved- I guess as much as you can be anyway.
  4. luvmyottb

    luvmyottb Guest

    hugs, hoping she gets picked up sooner rather than later.
  5. compassion

    compassion Member

    ((( )))) Shawna, I know too well the terror, the mixed feelings. You are both in my thoughts/prayers. Hope !!! Compassion
  6. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Your strength just amazes me.

    Sending many gentle hugs your way. Hope your difficult child gets picked up soon, and that your hurting mommy heart finds some peace in all of this.

    You're doing a great job staying detached.

  7. Janna

    Janna New Member


    You sound very strong, but I am sure at the same time your mommy heart hurts.

    I am so sorry for what you're going through. I do hope they pick her up soon, too. Just keep us posted.

    Sending gentle hugs to you.

  8. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Shawna, sending many hugs your way...........keep fighting the good fight.

    There will be sad days, angry days, and peaceful days. It is a death of sorts...........a journey of reconciliation within your soul of the grief your situation has inflicted upon you. Give yourself the time and space to follow all of those pathways, because they will ultimately converge on healing of your soul.
  9. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Thank you all so much for all of your support.

    I am doing okay, surprisingly! Things are actually really improving between husband and I. We are getting along much better and making an effort to be nicer to one another as well as spending quality time together. Our bedroom situation has even improved! It's bitter sweet though. I feel sad for my daughter and it is hard to accept the good things that are happening in my life as she is such a mess. I know that it is pretty much out of my hands at this point. Short of driving around looking for her, there really isn't much else I can do. Even if I went and found her she wouldn't come home with me as she knows that she will be going straight back to jail. Besides I am afraid of what I might see if I do find her. I don't even want to know what she is doing. I already have to live with knowing way too much about her. I don't think I could handle knowing anything else. Her life scares the heck out of me. Just trying to take it one day at a time, ya know?

    Anyway, I will keep you all posted. Hopefully I will be able to report back here soon with the news that she has been caught. It's just a matter of time. Thanks again. I hope everyone is doing well.

    Shawna :)
  10. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Today I found out that if my daughter actually gets a jail sentence she will lose her existing services and have to start over when she gets out!!! Great. That only means that she won't have any services because there is no way she will on her own apply for anything. She will lose her SW and her ICM. She has never actually used her ICM for anything but I liked having her just in case, ya know? That means I will also lose the SW that I have gotten very close to. She has helped me tremendously over the last year. She says that I can still call her but she won't be able to offically do much for me. No more home visits. I will actually really miss her. She has become like a friend!! :(