myfirstandlast
Member
Okay, two in a week is definitely a sign to try something new, the old ain't working. Just called and made an appointment with the psychiatric office daughter-14 is going to.
daughter-12 stayed home from school yesterday, "sick." Didn't seem to have any symptoms, but he does NOT like to miss school, so I have to believe that he wasn't faking. No computer/video games all day, the rule is too sick for school, too sick for play so he stayed mostly in his room and read 4-5 books. Seemed fine when I got home.
Can a kid have a sensory problem with showering? What concerns me about his "sickness" yesterday is that it seemed to come on after I told him he needed to shower, he had strong #2 odor from a likely "leak." He tried to say he could just wipe clean, but when I insisted on a shower, he suddenly had a stomachache. He did NOT want to miss school because of at least three legit reasons he gave me, I believe that ... so, can he manifest a physical ailment due to his psychological aversion to showering?
He fell asleep early last night, so did not use the bathroom before bed, and woke up wet. Very wet. Tried and tried to get him to get up and shower. Nothing. Started out nice, comforting. Second time I went in and he wasn't up, I was more firm, but still reassuring. Third time, I was insistent—still calm, but advised him there would be consequences if he did not get up. This is pretty much my breaking point, where I start to lose my cool. daughter-14 also has to use the bathroom to get ready for school, and he's wasted over 20 minutes. I know I am triggering his outbursts—yet still can't seem to change my actions. I walk away and say he can just ride his little sister's bus (it comes about an hour later, and he'll be late to school), now it's daughter-14's turn to use the bathroom. I knock on her door and tell her she has 15 minutes until we leave.
He blows. Everything is always, always MY fault. I WANT to make him late for school. I don't CARE about him, etc. He runs for the bathroom, takes another 10 minutes playing and/or sitting on the toilet (he fell asleep without taking his nightly mineral oil as well) and then tries to wash up with a washcloth. I try to explain that doesn't get rid of the smell, but he's totally switched off at this point. Grabs his stuff, bolts outside, and sees that he has just missed his bus by less than a minute. Comes back inside, screaming at me. Screams at daughter-14, now on her way to the bathroom to get ready, that I already ruined both of their mornings, that the bus is gone. (I had already told husband and daughter-14 that I would drive them to school, when daughter-12 went over his bathroom time limit, so that daughter-14 would not have to try and get ready in just 5 minutes.) She tells him I'm driving her to school. He turns back to me, so do I still have to ride the little kids bus? I ask if he's going to shower. NO!!
husband and I both try to explain that it only takes ONE kid to notice that he has an odor, and then everyone will know. He's switched off again. No response. daughter-14 is almost ready and I have husband start my car, daughter-12 runs for the door and gets in the car. Forgot his medications. Won't come back in for it because he says I'll drive off without him if he does. OMG. Get in the car, hand him his patch, tell him to put it in his pocket. NO, if he does that, he'll forget to put it on. That's just what I want him to do... forget his medications and have a bad day!! (remember, EVERYTHING is MY fault, always... I've long believed he got that mindset from his dad, xMIL)
I'm so exhausted. Last night was a nightmare of appointments and meetings, can't imagine adding another one to the mix. But don't have much of a choice. I'm nauseated with upset and stress. I'm back to seeing my IC weekly, and started Ritalin to help me be less zombiefied all day. Hubby tries to help, but he's already complaining about being "stuck at home" all the time. I'd like to crawl into a hole until spring.
daughter-12 stayed home from school yesterday, "sick." Didn't seem to have any symptoms, but he does NOT like to miss school, so I have to believe that he wasn't faking. No computer/video games all day, the rule is too sick for school, too sick for play so he stayed mostly in his room and read 4-5 books. Seemed fine when I got home.
Can a kid have a sensory problem with showering? What concerns me about his "sickness" yesterday is that it seemed to come on after I told him he needed to shower, he had strong #2 odor from a likely "leak." He tried to say he could just wipe clean, but when I insisted on a shower, he suddenly had a stomachache. He did NOT want to miss school because of at least three legit reasons he gave me, I believe that ... so, can he manifest a physical ailment due to his psychological aversion to showering?
He fell asleep early last night, so did not use the bathroom before bed, and woke up wet. Very wet. Tried and tried to get him to get up and shower. Nothing. Started out nice, comforting. Second time I went in and he wasn't up, I was more firm, but still reassuring. Third time, I was insistent—still calm, but advised him there would be consequences if he did not get up. This is pretty much my breaking point, where I start to lose my cool. daughter-14 also has to use the bathroom to get ready for school, and he's wasted over 20 minutes. I know I am triggering his outbursts—yet still can't seem to change my actions. I walk away and say he can just ride his little sister's bus (it comes about an hour later, and he'll be late to school), now it's daughter-14's turn to use the bathroom. I knock on her door and tell her she has 15 minutes until we leave.
He blows. Everything is always, always MY fault. I WANT to make him late for school. I don't CARE about him, etc. He runs for the bathroom, takes another 10 minutes playing and/or sitting on the toilet (he fell asleep without taking his nightly mineral oil as well) and then tries to wash up with a washcloth. I try to explain that doesn't get rid of the smell, but he's totally switched off at this point. Grabs his stuff, bolts outside, and sees that he has just missed his bus by less than a minute. Comes back inside, screaming at me. Screams at daughter-14, now on her way to the bathroom to get ready, that I already ruined both of their mornings, that the bus is gone. (I had already told husband and daughter-14 that I would drive them to school, when daughter-12 went over his bathroom time limit, so that daughter-14 would not have to try and get ready in just 5 minutes.) She tells him I'm driving her to school. He turns back to me, so do I still have to ride the little kids bus? I ask if he's going to shower. NO!!
husband and I both try to explain that it only takes ONE kid to notice that he has an odor, and then everyone will know. He's switched off again. No response. daughter-14 is almost ready and I have husband start my car, daughter-12 runs for the door and gets in the car. Forgot his medications. Won't come back in for it because he says I'll drive off without him if he does. OMG. Get in the car, hand him his patch, tell him to put it in his pocket. NO, if he does that, he'll forget to put it on. That's just what I want him to do... forget his medications and have a bad day!! (remember, EVERYTHING is MY fault, always... I've long believed he got that mindset from his dad, xMIL)
I'm so exhausted. Last night was a nightmare of appointments and meetings, can't imagine adding another one to the mix. But don't have much of a choice. I'm nauseated with upset and stress. I'm back to seeing my IC weekly, and started Ritalin to help me be less zombiefied all day. Hubby tries to help, but he's already complaining about being "stuck at home" all the time. I'd like to crawl into a hole until spring.
