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Substance Abuse
Another day, another knot in my stomach
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<blockquote data-quote="PatriotsGirl" data-source="post: 579408" data-attributes="member: 15796"><p>I have been exactly in your shoes and I can tell you what helped me:</p><p></p><p>Clean out his room. Paint, clean the rug, anything you need to do. Then set it up for what YOU want it to be. My difficult child's old room was an office and is now a gym. I am making new memories to fill that space to get rid of the old, depressing ones...</p><p></p><p>As for the baby - I am in the same position. My difficult child is due in September. Her and her boyfriend fight daily. They are homeless and stay at a motel. (He claims that he has the money for a place but difficult child doesn't like any of them). Regardless, decide exactly what you are willing and unwilling to do. </p><p></p><p>husband and I have been looking forward to our life after children. difficult child has been out for over two years now and our youngest will be 16 this year. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and want NOTHING to do with raising more children. The thought is just downright depressing to us to have to start all over again. So we told difficult child very clearly that if she and M have the baby, it will be their baby and their responsibility. I told them very clearly that we will not clothe, diaper and feed the baby. I told them we will not be financially responsible for the baby. If they choose to have the baby, which I believe they will, we plan to stand firm that we are not raising it. </p><p></p><p>I brought her to medicaid and WIC to apply for aid. That is as much as I was willing to help. At first they were dragging me in to every argument and I then had to make it clear that I do not wish to be involved and they have left me alone for the most part. </p><p></p><p>You just need to be comfortable about what you will and will not do and then stick to it...tough love is the HARDEST thing to do as a parent. It goes against every single instinct that we have. But they make it very necessary and in most, it is the only thing that works...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PatriotsGirl, post: 579408, member: 15796"] I have been exactly in your shoes and I can tell you what helped me: Clean out his room. Paint, clean the rug, anything you need to do. Then set it up for what YOU want it to be. My difficult child's old room was an office and is now a gym. I am making new memories to fill that space to get rid of the old, depressing ones... As for the baby - I am in the same position. My difficult child is due in September. Her and her boyfriend fight daily. They are homeless and stay at a motel. (He claims that he has the money for a place but difficult child doesn't like any of them). Regardless, decide exactly what you are willing and unwilling to do. husband and I have been looking forward to our life after children. difficult child has been out for over two years now and our youngest will be 16 this year. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and want NOTHING to do with raising more children. The thought is just downright depressing to us to have to start all over again. So we told difficult child very clearly that if she and M have the baby, it will be their baby and their responsibility. I told them very clearly that we will not clothe, diaper and feed the baby. I told them we will not be financially responsible for the baby. If they choose to have the baby, which I believe they will, we plan to stand firm that we are not raising it. I brought her to medicaid and WIC to apply for aid. That is as much as I was willing to help. At first they were dragging me in to every argument and I then had to make it clear that I do not wish to be involved and they have left me alone for the most part. You just need to be comfortable about what you will and will not do and then stick to it...tough love is the HARDEST thing to do as a parent. It goes against every single instinct that we have. But they make it very necessary and in most, it is the only thing that works... [/QUOTE]
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Another day, another knot in my stomach
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