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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 563645" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Yes, but you have already done a lot to help with it. And you are learning new things all the time. If I remember correctly you recently posted how oppositional he was when you had not told him beforehand how long he can watch tv. Eliminating that kind of things and keeping daily routine, especially when it comes to sleep and food quite same and clear are the things that can help. And yes, it takes some spontaneity out of life and can be dull. But then again J is likely to be able top handle more change when he comes older so it will not be the rest of your life. And when you do or go something/where new and different talking about it, telling what will happen, telling him how he should behave etc. could help. And on the other hand if done too much/starting too early can make him build up anxiety. So you just have to find the ways that work with him.</p><p></p><p>Other than that I have few ideas,I would try if I had a young kid with anxiety issues. No idea if they make any sense or would work, but I do think they could not cause any harm either. They are something that have come up as 'shoulda coulda woulda's when thinking my difficult child's younger years and hearing what kind of things he is now doing with his mental coach. Some of it I even did try when he was young at times it did help.</p><p></p><p>There will be times, when you simply can't keep J's life that routine and same. And times when he gets anxious over something external. That is life. But maybe you could create small routines to ease his anxiety also during those times. They should be created when he is not anxious, when you are at home, with no hurry and everything is pleasant and you are both in the good mood. Use transitional objects and create new ones. There really isn't any good reason why bigger kids could not have them. They may not be teddy bears or security blankets any more but the same emotional content can be directed to something else. A toy, a gadget (think something sensory) he can carry with him. It can also be a story you read for him or something you do together. Something to provide him safety and relaxation. You could have many of different things you could choose from when needed. And think them as batteries, they need to be charged with calm and relaxing energy before they can be used in 'real situation' and between using them. </p><p></p><p>Things you could try could be example a story time, choose just few different stories that he likes and that are not too stimulating, have him nestled on your lap and take your time to read the story. Just slow, lazy, relaxing way when he is in the mood. After you have 'charged' enough of that content to that routine, you can try to use it when you have a break on your routine (trip, visitors or something) and see if that would help him gain that same emotional state he has, when you are at your home with comfortable routine. Other things like that could be rubbing his shoulders or feet, playing some calm game (for example memory game) you could keep with you and play with him when things get likely to cause him anxiety. Just make easily portable routines in calm times that you can use during more challenging times with him. If you can, adding smells can be very efficient. Smells are strong triggers for memories and moods and adding for example certain scented candle or other object to those routines (lotion for feet rub for example) can be very useful trigger for the mood you are looking for.</p><p></p><p>Okay, I'm not sure if i made any sense, but these have been things I would have been thinking lately and difficult child's mental coach (who by the way is totally awesome) is using something similar (of course more adult versions) with difficult child to help him handle his anxiety.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 563645, member: 14557"] Yes, but you have already done a lot to help with it. And you are learning new things all the time. If I remember correctly you recently posted how oppositional he was when you had not told him beforehand how long he can watch tv. Eliminating that kind of things and keeping daily routine, especially when it comes to sleep and food quite same and clear are the things that can help. And yes, it takes some spontaneity out of life and can be dull. But then again J is likely to be able top handle more change when he comes older so it will not be the rest of your life. And when you do or go something/where new and different talking about it, telling what will happen, telling him how he should behave etc. could help. And on the other hand if done too much/starting too early can make him build up anxiety. So you just have to find the ways that work with him. Other than that I have few ideas,I would try if I had a young kid with anxiety issues. No idea if they make any sense or would work, but I do think they could not cause any harm either. They are something that have come up as 'shoulda coulda woulda's when thinking my difficult child's younger years and hearing what kind of things he is now doing with his mental coach. Some of it I even did try when he was young at times it did help. There will be times, when you simply can't keep J's life that routine and same. And times when he gets anxious over something external. That is life. But maybe you could create small routines to ease his anxiety also during those times. They should be created when he is not anxious, when you are at home, with no hurry and everything is pleasant and you are both in the good mood. Use transitional objects and create new ones. There really isn't any good reason why bigger kids could not have them. They may not be teddy bears or security blankets any more but the same emotional content can be directed to something else. A toy, a gadget (think something sensory) he can carry with him. It can also be a story you read for him or something you do together. Something to provide him safety and relaxation. You could have many of different things you could choose from when needed. And think them as batteries, they need to be charged with calm and relaxing energy before they can be used in 'real situation' and between using them. Things you could try could be example a story time, choose just few different stories that he likes and that are not too stimulating, have him nestled on your lap and take your time to read the story. Just slow, lazy, relaxing way when he is in the mood. After you have 'charged' enough of that content to that routine, you can try to use it when you have a break on your routine (trip, visitors or something) and see if that would help him gain that same emotional state he has, when you are at your home with comfortable routine. Other things like that could be rubbing his shoulders or feet, playing some calm game (for example memory game) you could keep with you and play with him when things get likely to cause him anxiety. Just make easily portable routines in calm times that you can use during more challenging times with him. If you can, adding smells can be very efficient. Smells are strong triggers for memories and moods and adding for example certain scented candle or other object to those routines (lotion for feet rub for example) can be very useful trigger for the mood you are looking for. Okay, I'm not sure if i made any sense, but these have been things I would have been thinking lately and difficult child's mental coach (who by the way is totally awesome) is using something similar (of course more adult versions) with difficult child to help him handle his anxiety. [/QUOTE]
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