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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 148345" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Daisy, </p><p> </p><p>My Dad was a good man. He just didn't like people. We never spent the night at anyones home beacuse he did NOT want us to reciprocate. Once in my life I had cousins spend the night and my dad spent the entire time locked in his den, smoking and watching tv. It's just how he was. He was a quiet, hard working, devout man - who provided for his family and was happier to be alone with us than around strangers. </p><p> </p><p>We went places on vacations - but my Dad was pretty much either with my Mom or us. He wasn't like me - I can start a conversation with anyone. And when we went to family reuniouns he was so incredibly uncomfortable we rarely stayed long. And reunions in our day were men in a circle of chairs WAY away from children and women - talking, smoking and drinking beer. Because he didn't talk much or drink - We used to say - Well there's dad - smoking. </p><p> </p><p>He was a private private person. A good Daddy, but after children - he was a social hinderance to my somewhat social Mom. Mom started ballroom dancing without him, she did a lot of things without him. And I find myself doing the same in my life. I'm happier at home, where it's quiet with my family than I am going out to dinner because lately - it seems people are rude, and don't respect anyone elses space. </p><p> </p><p>If there were a term meaning anti-social without meaning what I've been told Dude will become? I'd use that, but so far telling most people "Thanks but no." has sufficed. </p><p> </p><p>I dont' know if your hubby is just maybe waiting for the day when it's just you and he? I think that's what my Dad had in mind when we got older - Mom said it scared her to death to think of them both in the house staring - Dad at the TV and Mom at him staring at the TV. So Mom started to get out without him - and Dad never seemed to mind. </p><p> </p><p>I guess what I am trying to say is Live your life. Do what you do for you. My Dad solved the problem of people coming over - we just DID NOT have anyone in the house. Sure we thought it was weird - but he paid the bills and it's what he wanted. Now that I'm older I guess I could be considered a non-social person in the fact that I don't care for people in my house either. With the so-called friends that Dude brings around - they are always checking out stuff, looking and it makes me think they are going to come back with their cousins or big brother and rip us off. Hating to be right - one of them is doing 30-life and the other just got charged with attempted robbery with a firearm - so go figure. </p><p> </p><p>I still think I'd look into depression for him. The fact that he can turn it on and off - I know people like that too - but still seems to me like it's depression. And with my Dad? In the end - after he was gone, Mom told us about a lot of Dads interesting ways - and never knew he was being treated for depression either. So it was kinda all telling then. </p><p> </p><p>I hope you find something - but don't sit and wait for him to take you places - YOU go. YOU find stuff that's fun for you and live your life. Enjoy what you can - we're not here for a long time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 148345, member: 4964"] Daisy, My Dad was a good man. He just didn't like people. We never spent the night at anyones home beacuse he did NOT want us to reciprocate. Once in my life I had cousins spend the night and my dad spent the entire time locked in his den, smoking and watching tv. It's just how he was. He was a quiet, hard working, devout man - who provided for his family and was happier to be alone with us than around strangers. We went places on vacations - but my Dad was pretty much either with my Mom or us. He wasn't like me - I can start a conversation with anyone. And when we went to family reuniouns he was so incredibly uncomfortable we rarely stayed long. And reunions in our day were men in a circle of chairs WAY away from children and women - talking, smoking and drinking beer. Because he didn't talk much or drink - We used to say - Well there's dad - smoking. He was a private private person. A good Daddy, but after children - he was a social hinderance to my somewhat social Mom. Mom started ballroom dancing without him, she did a lot of things without him. And I find myself doing the same in my life. I'm happier at home, where it's quiet with my family than I am going out to dinner because lately - it seems people are rude, and don't respect anyone elses space. If there were a term meaning anti-social without meaning what I've been told Dude will become? I'd use that, but so far telling most people "Thanks but no." has sufficed. I dont' know if your hubby is just maybe waiting for the day when it's just you and he? I think that's what my Dad had in mind when we got older - Mom said it scared her to death to think of them both in the house staring - Dad at the TV and Mom at him staring at the TV. So Mom started to get out without him - and Dad never seemed to mind. I guess what I am trying to say is Live your life. Do what you do for you. My Dad solved the problem of people coming over - we just DID NOT have anyone in the house. Sure we thought it was weird - but he paid the bills and it's what he wanted. Now that I'm older I guess I could be considered a non-social person in the fact that I don't care for people in my house either. With the so-called friends that Dude brings around - they are always checking out stuff, looking and it makes me think they are going to come back with their cousins or big brother and rip us off. Hating to be right - one of them is doing 30-life and the other just got charged with attempted robbery with a firearm - so go figure. I still think I'd look into depression for him. The fact that he can turn it on and off - I know people like that too - but still seems to me like it's depression. And with my Dad? In the end - after he was gone, Mom told us about a lot of Dads interesting ways - and never knew he was being treated for depression either. So it was kinda all telling then. I hope you find something - but don't sit and wait for him to take you places - YOU go. YOU find stuff that's fun for you and live your life. Enjoy what you can - we're not here for a long time. [/QUOTE]
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