Anticipating problems in the weeks ahead

[HaoZi]

Kiddo got one call from her father the whole week she was in the hospital. He just called tonight. She's still on the phone with him. This after we had a discussion about how she needs him to be more consistent with contact, etc. Said discussion was back in early October, when she was in the hospital. So now, 2 days after Christmas, 4 days before my birthday, he finally calls her again.

I expect the next few weeks to be angst-ridden and tantrum filled. Especially if he promises her (again) that he'll call her on (pick a day) and doesn't follow through (again).
I so want to reach through that phone and beat his head against the wall.

 

[KTMom91]

I hear you. We've dealt with this from Miss KT's father, aka Useless Boy, for 14 years. Whenever Miss KT asked me why her father didn't call, didn't come see her, didn't let her come see him, etc., my response was, "Miss KT, I have no idea why your father does anything he does. You'll need to ask him that question." Over the years, she's gotten darn good at pinning his uselessness to the wall and making him answer her, and she's also learned that he's mainly air.

Oh, but those early years...when I wished he'd just drop dead so it would be over, and he'd stop hurting my kid with his empty promises, when I prayed for an "accident" or something...anything to make him shut up and go away. Even now, the urge to hit him over the head with something flares up when I see Miss KT crying because he made her yet another air promise. Hugs to you and Kiddo...it'll get better.

 

[HaoZi]

I hope so. I can't wait for the day she does the math and figures out what it means that her half-sister is less than a month older.

 

[HaoZi]

Just got off phone with him, he's past ready to have the divorce over (yeah, same here, but since you're in SUCH a hurry I guess I get my way, don't I?). Asked him about any family history that we might need to check her for, blames his father's pain killer addiction on the doctors that were treating him (can you say denial? yeah, maybe the treatment started it, but it means the gene for addiction of any stripe is there, just like my bio-dad's alcoholism, and I think he'd get real testy if I mentioned his own affinity for a certain illegal green smoking substance, no clue if he still does it). Expressed AGAIN how much she needs consistency from him in contact and got the boo-hoo story about bills and phones being cut off, etc. Fine, next time you can't call her when you say you will can you at least scrape up the change from the couch and write her a note telling her why so she doesn't feel you don't give a $#*! about her? He agreed to that, we'll see how the follow-thru goes. Said he'll call tomorrow to find out what the genetic counselor thinks she can find.

Oh, and he doesn't believe in ADHD. Or "anything cooked up by a teacher like that." He also firmly believes several other things that fly in the face of science, but we won't go there.

I'm hauling out the Bulldog Shrine again.

 

[KTMom91]

More hugs. Useless Boy has a similar "affinity for a certain illegal green substance," as well as a hx of rehab for a certain illegal white powdery substance.