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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 678868" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>My daughter has Borderline (BPD), too, and it is so, so difficult. No matter how much has been given or done, those things are never remembered, acknowledged or appreciated. But the second something is denied or I don't give in to her, she immediately reacts - anger, spite, no contact - wailing that I have never done anything from her, I've abandoned her, etc. When she is on drugs, that is all amplified to the nth degree. Trying to set boundaries with her is so hard because it causes her to explode. I truly understand how you feel.</p><p></p><p>I get so sad over the relationship "I WISH I'd had with her." If I am honest, I haven't "lost" anything because we never had it. She only wants contact with me when there is something of gain. And I never will have a true relationship until she admits she has a serious problem and fully commits to getting better. </p><p></p><p>What I have to "let go" of is that fantasy that I can do something to make that relationship I would love to have happen.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 678868, member: 19905"] My daughter has Borderline (BPD), too, and it is so, so difficult. No matter how much has been given or done, those things are never remembered, acknowledged or appreciated. But the second something is denied or I don't give in to her, she immediately reacts - anger, spite, no contact - wailing that I have never done anything from her, I've abandoned her, etc. When she is on drugs, that is all amplified to the nth degree. Trying to set boundaries with her is so hard because it causes her to explode. I truly understand how you feel. I get so sad over the relationship "I WISH I'd had with her." If I am honest, I haven't "lost" anything because we never had it. She only wants contact with me when there is something of gain. And I never will have a true relationship until she admits she has a serious problem and fully commits to getting better. What I have to "let go" of is that fantasy that I can do something to make that relationship I would love to have happen. [/QUOTE]
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