Any tips?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by klmno, Mar 26, 2009.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    The job market isn't good and I'm in a professional field that has been hit hard. I sent out on line resumes for government positions since they seem to be the only ones advertising in my field. I have a little edge since I used to be in the military and am in this specific field, but I haven't heard ONE word back from anyone. I looked and found a couple of more openings- I'm sure the competition is pretty stiff. I'm happy with my resume the way it is- the format has always gotten interviews for about 1/3 to 1/2 the resumes sent out, depending on the market, so I think that's a pretty good return.

    I want out of this county but can't go too far away, so I'd prefer just going to the eastern part of VA. Any tips?

    I've really spoiled myself since difficult child has been out of the home- I spent so many years feeling like a driving force doing what needed to be done. I've been lazy and eating what I want, when I want, etc. This has felt good in a way, but made me feel like such a loser in another way. So, I need to find a good balance between doing what needs to be done, making some changes, and still taking time for myself to just enjoy a few things.

    I've got a crush on somebody that's out of my league- as if I'm in a position emotionally to pursue anything anyway...and at my age and physical shape and so forth, well, nothing can develop from this, so that's another double-edged sword. LOL! It did remind me that I'm not dead yet. :)

    I'm trying hard to shake off remaining depression and put some plans/goals into action, but it isn't easy with the job and housing market the way it is. My therapist says I'm looking and sounding a lot better and she thinks it's preferable for me to move too, but I swear, I feel like I keep hitting a wall every time I put a foot out there and make an effort. It makes me want to just hole up and forget the real world exists. Does anyone else feel this way- or at least understand it?
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2009
  2. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    I think I understand, K.

    After I had come out of my severe depression in 2003, it took me another 2 full years to be back completely back to 'normal'. That's not to say that I was still depressed or what have you. But, it really wears down your self-confidence. And you've had a lot of help in that arena with the PO, GAL, etc.

    When the weight is suddenly lifted from your shoulders, you want to go out and tackle the world. You have plans, you have goals, and you're excited and ready for the change. But, when your first efforts don't turn out the way you would like, it's easy to end up feeling a bit defeated and to have your confidence shaken. It takes some time to build that back up.
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    That sounds like it Heather. Plus, I know I look like carp- I haven't been taking care of myself for a long time- well, I guess before that I was always rushing and didn't have a lot of time. Now, I look in the mirror and feel like throwing them all out of the house. I don't want to give up- not just for me, but for difficult child, too. I feel like I could really get on a roll and make this work- if I could see something go right for a change. I know in my head that a lot of it is just timing right now- most people are struggling.

    I had 3 dreams last night- maybe nightmares is more like it. One was that I found a new therapist who was a male and I hopped in the sack with him right away. (This has never happened and I want a female therapist). The other was that I went out to a party and ended up delving into all kinds of street drugs again (well, that stopped over 25 years ago.) The other was that my bro caught wind of difficult child's current issues and hired a big firm to get gal to have me prove a bunch of stuff that ate up all my time and I knew I had no money to hire attny's to fight another custody case with my bro. Geez, was I ever happy to wake up and realize that none of these things had really happened!!

    Last year, I had to go to court 14 times in one year alone over difficult child stuff, on top of his psychiatric hospital stays after becoming acute at home, my entire finacial situation crashing, etc. My entire foundation has been destroyed and now it's like nothing is here. I've had to start over before and I think I can do it again- but things just look so glim right now. If I hear about the poor economy one more time on the news I'm going to throw something at the tv. :D
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2009
  4. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I think that sometimes, when we are at our lowest, the only thing we can do is look up, and start climbing. One little step at at time. Will it be hard---sometimes. Will you fall---probably. can do this. And when you get to the top---the view is amazing.
  5. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    You can do this! You are just going to have to be really tenacious. To get 1/2 to 1/3 of a reply on resumes is pretty unusual. When I was out looking a year ago, I got more like 1/8th. I had some people send me rejection letters, when I had every single credential they were looking for. It was maddening!!! Then one day, maybe after 3 months of applying for every job out there, I got a call back and interview and hired.

    On another note. This new job I got, literally fell in my lap. Someone forwarded me an email from a friend who was looking for a manager, and I got the job. I mean, it was almost surreal it was so easy. So you just never know how things will play out.

    The only thing that is for sure (that I struggle with like crazy) is that you cannot take anything personally. The job will happen, but rejection is part of the process of finding a job.

    As for finding your life again - I am so happy that you are really pushing for this. You deserve it girl! I think you and I are in the same boat - finally finding ourselves and our lives after too many years of being hyper focused on our kids. I cannot imagine being in a relationship right now - and yet I crave it. I rationally know there is too much healing that needs to go on in my soul to have a mate - and yet who does not want to be with someone and live happily ever after?

    Sigh. Perhaps you should move to Arizona with me so we can both start our lives over! At least we would have strength in numbers. (lol). :tongue:
  6. ML

    ML Guest

    I like what EW said. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You are definitely headed in the right direction. My only recommendation is to take the time to nurture your spirit. Read inspirational literature, give yourself facials and pedicures. Start light working out, even walking. Maybe yoga/meditation. Just start to harvest as much positive energy as you can. Know that we all love you tons and support you fully. I'm proud of you girl. xo ML
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911


    MAYBE HE isn't GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!!!!!!!!

    ......girlfrien' we have GOT to work on your self esteem.

    PFT - not good enough for you......pshaw.......

    Past reading that it was all like sock puppet to me.....sorry - got so left of center I didn't read the rest of your post. :(

  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thank you, everyone! I took some OTC allergy medications yesterday and slept so much better last night- I think when I had to stop my regular allergy medications it effected me more than I thought and that might be contributing. I'm calling my dr today to work on this.

    Steely- I was getting that amount of responses to resumes a few years ago- I'm not getting that now. Networking is supposed to be the best way to get a job- it's not something I've ever been able to develop though because I never socialize with others in my field so I don't have the contacts. Moving out west- well, there's a thought!! I do have family in AZ and CA! Really though, I couldn't leave difficult child here with no visotors at all. How about this- if it turns out that you don't like this new job after all, you let me know and you can move east with us!! I have a couple of dogs and we believe in "the more the merrier"!! I believe in strength in numbers, too!

    As far as a relationship- oh, gosh, not only do I not need one, but I would drive somebody up the wall right now. Between the fact that it's been a LONG time since I've been in one and I'm in no position to be able to be a good partner right now, it would have to be just a short term thing with someone who just catered to me. (Uhmmmm, one weekend with someone out of my leaugue who doesn't need anything from me but will take care of me...Yep, that works!! :D) JK!!

    The weather is starting to get nicer and warmer here- except the last couple of days. That helps me to feel better and get more physical energy out. The support you ladies offer goes a long way, too!! Thanks, again!
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2009
  9. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    klmno, I don't know what field you're in, but if you want to PM it to me, I can let you know if I have any contacts around.

    And hey, I have extra tickets to a Van Halen tribute band concert tonight ;-)