Anybody care to venture a "guess"

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Sheila, May 15, 2007.

  1. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Anybody care to venture a "guess" about when the school problems started this year? :rolleyes:


    School started the middle of August 2006.

    Course Hour Type of absence or tardy Date
    ------ ---- ---- -- ------- -- ----- ----
    STUDY LAB 9th Absent...............Mon 05-14-2007
    ART 8th Tardy.................Fri 05-11-2007
    7 TX HISTORY 1st Absent.................Thu 05-10-2007
    7 MATH 3rd Absent.................Thu 05-10-2007
    7 LANG ARTS 5th Absent.................Thu 05-10-2007
    PHYSICAL ED 7th Absent.................Thu 05-10-2007
    ART 8th Absent.................Thu 05-10-2007
    STUDY LAB 9th Absent...................Thu 05-10-2007
    7 MATH 3rd Tardy..................Wed 05-09-2007
    ART 8th Absent.................Wed 05-09-2007
    STUDY LAB 9th Absent...................Wed 05-09-2007
    7 MATH 3rd Tardy..................Tue 05-08-2007
    ART 8th Absent.................Tue 05-08-2007
    7 LANG ARTS 5th In-School Suspension...Fri 05-04-2007
    STUDY LAB 9th Tardy Fri.................05-04-2007
    7 TX HISTORY 1st Tardy.................Thu 05-03-2007
    ART 8th Tardy.................Thu 05-03-2007
    7 MATH 3rd Tardy.................Wed 05-02-2007
    ART 8th Absent.................Tue 05-01-2007
    ART 8th Tardy.................Mon 04-30-2007
    7 LANG ARTS 5th In-School Suspension...Fri 04-27-2007
    PHYSICAL ED 7th Absent.................Fri 04-27-2007
    STUDY LAB 9th In-School Suspension....Fri 04-27-2007
    STUDY LAB 9th Tardy.................Tue 04-26-2007
    ART 7th Tardy.................Wed 04-25-2007
    STUDY LAB 9th Tardy.................Wed 04-25-2007
    7 LANG ARTS 5th In-School Suspension...Tue 04-24-2007
    ART 7th Tardy.................Mon 04-23-2007
    7 LANG ARTS 5th In-School Suspension...Fri 04-20-2007
    ART 7th In-School Suspension...Fri 04-20-2007
    PHYSICAL ED 8th In-School Suspension...Fri 04-20-2007
    ART 7th Tardy.................Mon 04-16-2007
    ART 7th Absent.................Wed 04-11-2007
    7 LANG ARTS 5th In-School Suspension...Thu 04-05-2007
    ART 7th In-School Suspension...Thu 04-05-2007
    PHYSICAL ED 8th In-School Suspension...Thu 04-05-2007
    STUDY LAB 9th In-School Suspension...Thu 04-05-2007
    7 LIFE SCIENCE 1st Note From Parent......Mon 04-02-2007
    7 MATH 3rd Note From Parent......Mon 04-02-2007
    7 LANG ARTS 5th Note From Parent......Mon 04-02-2007
    ART 7th Note From Parent......Mon 04-02-2007
    PHYSICAL ED 8th Note From Parent......Mon 04-02-2007
    STUDY LAB 9th Note From Parent........Mon 04-02-2007
    7 TX HISTORY 1st Tardy.................Mon 03-26-2007
    7 LANG ARTS 5th In-School Suspension...Mon 03-26-2007
    TECHNOLOGY ED 7th In-School Suspension...Mon 03-26-2007
    PHYSICAL ED 8th In-School Suspension...Mon 03-26-2007
    STUDY LAB 9th In-School Suspension....Mon 03-26-2007
    7 LANG ARTS 5th In-School Suspension....Wed 03-21-2007
    STUDY LAB 9th Tardy.................Thu 03-08-2007
    7 TX HISTORY 1st Absent.................Mon 03-05-2007
    7 MATH 3rd Absent.................Mon 03-05-2007
    7 LANG ARTS 5th Absent.................Mon 03-05-2007
    TECHNOLOGY ED 7th Absent.................Mon 03-05-2007
    PHYSICAL ED 8th Absent.................Mon 03-05-2007
    STUDY LAB 9th Absent.................Thu 03-01-2007
    TECHNOLOGY ED 7th Absent.................Fri 02-23-2007
    7 TX HISTORY 1st Tardy.................Thu 02-15-2007
    7 TX HISTORY 1st Absent.................Fri 02-09-2007
    7 MATH 3rd Absent.................Fri 02-09-2007
    7 LANG ARTS 5th Absent.................Fri 02-09-2007
    TECHNOLOGY ED 7th Absent.................Fri 02-09-2007
    STUDY LAB 9th Absent.................Fri 02-09-2007
    7 TX HISTORY 1st In-School Suspension....Mon 02-05-2007
    7 MATH 3rd In-School Suspension....Mon 02-05-2007
    7 LANG ARTS 5th In-School Suspension....Mon 02-05-2007
    TECHNOLOGY ED 7th In-School Suspension....Mon 02-05-2007
    PHYSICAL ED 8th In-School Suspension....Mon 02-05-2007
    STUDY LAB 9th In-School Suspension....Mon 02-05-2007
    TECHNOLOGY ED 7th In-School Suspension....Fri 02-02-2007
    PHYSICAL ED 8th In-School Suspension....Fri 02-02-2007
    STUDY LAB 9th In-School Suspension....Fri 02-02-2007
    STUDY LAB 9th Tardy.................Thu 12-07-2006
    STUDY LAB 9th Absent.................Wed 11-15-2006
    STUDY LAB 9th Absent.................Thu 10-26-2006
    PHYSICAL ED 8th Absent.................Mon 10-23-2006
    STUDY LAB 9th Tardy.................Fri 10-06-2006
    7 LIFE SCIENCE 1st Tardy.................Mon 09-11-2006

    Hint: Unknown trigger occurred mid-January.

    As and Bs are now:
    Science "D" (favorite subject)
    History "F"
    Math "F"
    Language Arts "F"
    Art "F"

    Mom beating head against wall here....

    He's really trying to bring his grades up, but I don't know if he'll be able too. His ability to sustain attention is extremely poor.

    If the future can be predicted from the past -- he'll recover about 3 to 4 weeks after school is out. I'm so ready for school to be out...

    It's been 2 years since we've had a major "episode." This year isn't the worst it's ever been, so I'm trying to be grateful. So frustrating for everyone!!!!!!!
     
  2. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    Sheila, did your school district not come up with anything to help this situation? I'd have been on them like a JuneBug!
     
  3. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Actually, I think most of the educators involved have tried the best they can with difficult child.

    The majority of this is related to his PTSD. Once it's triggered and out-of-control, it pretty much has to run it's course. We do all we can (and they have also) to take as much pressure off him as possible and teach/re-teach coping skills, problem solving, etc. However, what he needs to regain his footing is 3 - 4 weeks out-of-school.
     
  4. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    Oh my, that's a loooong time. I suppose this means he has to repeat the grade? That would be a blow by itself.
     
  5. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Let me know if you can figure out the time of year. My difficult child did good until end of second qtr. Even said "third qtr has always been hard for me". How can you like school, be on the honor roll, all A's..Never missed a day to hating school, 30 tardies (class tardies) in one week. Average of 5 calls a day from school. Refusal to do work, refusal to go to class, Everything. Cannot figure out why he had done so well for about a year or more, then come End of January complete 360.
    I changed jobs right at that time. My schedule changed, my work days. he is home alone in the morning now three days a week. That never happened before. but His ride says he is always in a good mood, polite when she brings him. What happens once that school door opens?
     
  6. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Also...difficult child knows it doesn't matter if he passes or fails a class. He scores beyond advanced on his state tests. That dictates pass or fail and summer school. I asked for him to go to summer school. I was told by the principal that his state test scores are to high, he would not be allowed. Same as passing/failing class. He knows it. He just WON'T do it. So they pass him. SW, counselor both told me he is smart enought to know if he does well on those state tests, he doesn't have to do anything.

    He has a rude awakening once high school hits. There it takes credits. State tests mean squat as far as graduating. You fail a class, you retake the class.
     
  7. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Sheila, I'm sure you've covered all possible solutions, but would your difficult child be helped by a homebound arrangement when the downward spiral begins? Or if this is a repeating history giving him a 3 week break when it begins and then doing the catchup as can do along the way.
     
  8. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ugh! So frustrating for everyone involved. Is he in therapy for the PTSD trigger?
     
  9. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I'm glad that his teachers are on the same page as you. When my difficult child's anxiety skyrockets and school refusal mode kicks in, my only concern is getting her to school. I don't care if she accomplishes a single thing when she gets there as long as she gets there. Once she regains her footing with that part, then the focus can shift to academics. If we try to focus on both, it will be too much and she just will not be able to cope and she will shutdown. Unfortunately, the school has a hard time with that concept.
     
  10. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Sheila,

    Totally understand the PTSD high anxiety mode. kt is doing the same thing. therapist feels that there are certain times of year that trigger our traumatized children to high levels of stress.

    Like you, we spend a great deal of time reteaching skills learned before the PTSD episode hits.

    I hope things settle quickly for difficult child.
     
  11. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sheila,

    will he have to repeat or are those grades just for this quarter? It looks like he was absent so much. Is that going to come into play in regards to passing?

    Was he able to work with you at home or was his spiral all emcompassing? I know with my difficult child, when his axiety is up at school, he's much calmer at home and able to accomplish his schoolwork.

    I'm sorry he is going through this. It must be painful to watch. I will pray that he finds some resolution.

    Sharon
     
  12. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    We used to go through problems like this for difficult child 3, in the later part of the school year. The problems would begin earlier and earlier with every school year. Could it be connected to something like that?

    Sometimes it's almost impossible to recognise a trigger, which can seem so very tiny to an observer. A teacher being sarcastic; a bully getting a particularly nasty jibe in. Who can know? But unresolved it can build and lead to ongoing problems.

    Marg
     
  13. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Kjs: With our difficult child it doesn’t matter what time of the year it is.

    SRL: I thought about homebound, but decided against it because I felt the returning to school and “catchup” deepen the problem. (This isn’t the worst it’s been.)

    Busywend: He was in counseling for 4 yrs and it’s something we may have to re-do. His long-term psychologist has moved out of state, so I called his 1st psychologist. Amazingly, 7 yrs later she recalled difficult child and details immediately. She’s good, so it left me unsettled that she said his case is so complex (abuse/neglect, PTSD, other disorders, adoption issues, puberty, etc) that she didn’t know how much good it will do because difficult child WILL NOT talk. (He was in play therapy previously.) But she said she would work difficult child in. I’m going to wait and see how he does after school is out for several weeks and go from there.

    Wyntersgrace2: It’s only because difficult child’s teachers and administrative staff willingness to follow his IEP and go above and beyond that this episode hasn’t been worse than it is. We had a pre-school meeting and when I told them that difficult child will “shutdown on you,” they really didn’t understand. Unfortunately, they do now.

    Timer lady: Reteaching gets to be really, really old, doesn’t it? When difficult child is in one of these episodes, he regresses across the board. It’s like his behavior, academics, responsibility level goes back in time at least 5 years. If kt does this, has anyone been able to explain what’s happening?

    Sharon: Even though we’re in the “not going to school” mode, difficult child hasn’t been absent as much as it may appear. Most of the absences prior to the ISSs are due to difficult child being sent to the AP’s office. A lot of his school work has been done at home this semester. It’s difficult, but he’s able to perform the work much better at home than at school.

    Marguerite: You’re correct; sometimes it’s impossible to identify the trigger. And to complicate matters, difficult child’s perspective of events doesn’t always parallel the facts. difficult child’s first 5 yrs of life was pervasive abuse and neglect; so it can be just about anything.
     
  14. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sheila,

    Perhaps difficult child has matured since he last saw that therapist and may be willing to open up with her in time. That's what I'll hope for.

    When difficult child has his testing through school a couple years ago, the school pychologist said "difficult child is a very complex little boy". Wow, was that a mouthful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Sharon
     
  15. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Sheila - It sounds like your difficult child goes into flat-out survival mode.

    I didn't know if you have seen this info, so I thought I would pass it along:

    http://www.nctsn.org/nccts/nav.do?pid=typ_ct

    Dealing with the pre-verbal stuff is hard. These kids can't articulate it because they didn't have words for it when it happened. They have a therapeutic model for dealing with this kind of trauma. You can find info on that website. PM me if you need more. I'm looking into having my difficult child evaluated and see if this is the direction we need to go as it really seems to fit her.
     
  16. Martie

    Martie Moderator

    Sheila,

    I'm so sorry. I agree that it might be time to give talk therapy another try. Puberty is the pits but sometimes it does increase verbalization of internal states.

    Hang in there (like you wouldn't)

    Martie
     
  17. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    Sheila,
    I wish I could think of a way to stop the downward spiral. We went through this almost every spring. My difficult child started to go down the path after Christmas break. We repeated and repeated school work with little or no retention the next semester. My difficult child has more difficulty with academics than your difficult child but the behavior of avoidance,denial and obstinancy is familiar. Traditional educational time lines don't work with our kids. I wish there was a way for the system to be flexible enough to accomodate our kids emotional ups and downs. The academics are secondary to his emotional stability. It seems the avoidance of class is indicative of our kids emotional state.
    I pushed my difficult child to continue to go to school and to continue to be in the very system that stressed him and reinforced his many shortcomings. He didn't learn any better and he never got over his dislike of going to school. My best suggestion is look at what he needs right now. He can pick up academics any time. His sense of security and control may be more important. Hugs, Sheila. I know it breaks your heart.
     
  18. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Sharon: “said "difficult child is a very complex little boy"” certainly doesn’t give you the warm fuzzies, does it?

    Heather: Yes, difficult child’s survival skills are well-honed. That’s a great paper, by the way. I read it a couple of weeks ago on the board and have buzzed through it a couple of times since then. It sure “fits” difficult child in many areas.

    Martie: Barely hanging on by my fingernails some days....

    Fran: He’s done so well the last 2 yrs I wasn’t prepared for the bottom to fall out again. Yesterday was a good day. He was excited about passing his Reading TAKS, brought another grade up in a core class, he was making plans to get extra work from other teachers to bring the other core classes up. He needed to experience the success. Got up this morning and started begging me to stay home from school…. :sad: There’s only 8 days of school left. Surely we can make it 8 more days…. I'm second guessing myself a lot these days.
     
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